“A rose, huh?” Her eyes, just a shade lighter than my own, look up at me from across the table. She still wears her long, blonde hair tucked back in a ponytail at the base of her neck. A bit more gray than I noticed earlier sprinkled throughout her golden hair. I try to push aside the nagging feeling that maybe I’m the reason behind her going gray.
Clearing my throat from the emotion threatening to crawl back up again, I say, “Yeah, a rose.” I look back at her smiling.
“Mom’s middle name. You got any ink that represents me on ya?” Owen’s grin makes one of my own break free.
“Actually, yeah,” I say leaning to the side, pretending to roll up my sleeve. Then I spin towards him and show him my middle finger. His head tips back and he lets out a loud howl of a laugh, and for a split second, I just sit and watch my little brother. I’d forgotten how deeply I missed that laugh, the comfort that only a sibling can provide.
Mom clicks her tongue at us, releasing my hand and leaning back in her seat. “So…” she begins while Owen and I share a look that speaks of unspoken love and a bond that goes beyond past wrongdoings. “Tell us about that girl you hid in your trailer today.” Her light blue eyes twinkle with mischief, and I have to snap my mouth shut.
Pinching my eyebrows together in confusion, I hide behind a sip of my water. “Not sure what you’re talkin’ about, Mama.” She huffs, rolling her eyes.
“Mmmhmm,” she muses, rolling her lip between her teeth, debating if she should push the subject further.
“That trailer ain’t as sound proof as I think you both believe it is.” My head snaps to my dad, I can feel my cheeks flame underneath the stubble covering my jawline. Scratching at it, I look up at the ceiling, anywhere to avoid the laser beam of shame he’s shooting my way.
Owen saves me from my misery. “That’s actually another thing I wanted to talk to you about.” The hint of hesitation in his voice draws my attention to him. I nod my chin at him to continue. “I um, I’m engaged,” he finally says in one quick breath.
“You’re engaged?” I ask, surprise written all over my face. I shouldn’t be, I’ve been gone long enough for him to already bemarried off and have a house full of kids. He’s only three years younger than me, but the girls always flocked to him. Owen wipes his hands over the tablecloth, straightening his fork and knife before looking back up at me, nodding. “Vivi and I met in college, we were both in the same program.” Shit, I don’t even know what he does for work. His hazel eyes meet mine and he smiles, as if reading my thoughts. “We were both in the EMT program together.”
“Owen is a fireman for Denver,” my mom says, her eyes full of admiration. Pride blooms in my chest. That explains why he’s so fit.
“And a paramedic.” He says, earning an eye roll from my mom. My brother reaches over and gives my mom’s hand a squeeze. “Vivi and I were partners during our blood draw evaluation, she passed out putting the IV in my arm.” No doubt remembering that moment, he absentmindedly rubs his arm, a soft smile making my heart swell for the man who sits next to me. Then he laughs. “She didn’t get the clamp on all the way, so I had blood running down my arm while she crumpled to the floor.” The whole table chuckles at the image. “Needless to say, she dropped the program the same day.”
“But you didn’t drop her.” Waggling my eyebrows at him, he taps his nose twice then points at me. I stand up and walk over to him, and he meets me in a tight embrace. “Congrats, man. I’m so happy for you. So..” my voice cracks, “fucking proud of you.” He pulls me in tighter and I let him, breathing in the familiarity and peace he’s always given my restless spirit. Pulling away, he holds me at arm's length. “I’d like for you to be my best man.”
Fuck.I definitely didn’t expect this. Shaking my head, I open my mouth to refuse, but he just smacks my arms and nods his head. “I knew you’d say yes. Thanks, Dean.” Then he sits back down, leaving me standing there while my world tips on its axis.
We spend another hour chatting about the wedding and ranch, thankful that they avoid any more hints at Hannah. It’s not until my dad starts yawning and Mom shifts stiffly in her chair that I check my watch. “Shit, it’s late. Y’all need to get home.”Home. The word rolled so easily off my tongue that it stopped me in my tracks. The table goes silent, and I look up in time to see the three of them exchanging nervous looks across the table littered with our empty plates and glasses. “What?” I ask, eyes bouncing around to each of them.
“Dean, honey. I think we’re all just a bit nervous that we won't see you again.” I don’t miss the slight tremble of her hands before she tucks them underneath the table.
“Come here,” I say as I stand, motioning for them all to stand with me. Then one by one, I tuck them under my arms and pull us together. “I can’t make up for lost time. I’ll be kicking myself for the rest of my life, for wasting all this time that we could have been together. But I promise you.” Kissing my mom’s head and holding on to my dad and Owen, I try to get the words out around the ball of emotion in my chest. “I’m here now. I won’t lose you all again. After this summer, things will change. I’ll come home.” Dad wipes at his eyes, resting his cheek against my chest. Mom wraps her arms around my waist, crying quietly from her place smashed in the middle of us. Owen looks at me with misty eyes, then mouths,You fucking better, Before giving me a wink and peeling mom off me.
“You heard the man, let’s get you old folks back to the home.” My dad shoves Owen’s shoulder as he passes, holding Mom’s hand tightly in his. I watch them walk towards the door, suddenly feeling too much all at once. My heart hammers in my chest, begging me to stay. My mind screams at me to do what we do best, and ride off again. Hannah comes to mind, and the pain that she walks with every day of not having her parents in this world eats at me. How could I be so selfish to walk away fromthe family that has done nothing but love me and lift me up? So I pull my hat back over my brow and nod to myself.Never again,I make a mental promise. Never again will I let something so good get away. Which means I have a shit ton of work to do to get my woman back.
hannah
The signoutside of Calico flashes neon pink and blue, lighting up the cab of my truck from my spot in the parking lot. I circled the block three times before finally pulling in and spending five minutes trying to find a spot. This place is packed, and by packed I mean people are flooding out from the main room and crammed together on the outdoor patio. All I really want to do is crawl in my bed and cry, but I spent too long picking out my outfit to go back and rot away in my bed, crying over some cowboy.
“Mama didn’t raise no bitch,” I say to myself, flipping down the visor and reapplying my makeup in the tiny mirror. Satisfied with my appearance, I fluff my loose curls that I spent extra time on after my shower and hop out of my truck.
From the outside, the place looked crowded, but from the inside, it’s damn near busting at the seams. A mechanical bull is in full swing to my left, a group of people cheering as some girl's tits about fly out from her tight top with one sharp swing of the bull. A big dance floor sits in the middle of the room, the sides lined with more cowboy hats than any rodeo I’ve ridden in. Hightop tables fill up most of the open space, and two separate bars line the walls on each side of the dance floor. I shove past bodies clad in denim and pearl snap shirts, making my way to the bar. Squeezing between a pair of men, I wave down the bartender,
“Can I get some water, please?” With a nod, she turns back around and I watch her grab a glass and fill it before making her way back to me. Thanking her, I take a long gulp and turn to watch the dance floor. A line dance plays loudly over the speakers, a simple one that every country fan learns in middle school. I smile and tap my foot along while sipping on my drink.
“Need something a little stronger, sugar?” I jump at the sudden proximity of the man next to me. He pulls back with an overly sweet smile, perfect white teeth, and dimples. His white tee glows underneath the neon lights of the bar behind us. Setting my drink down, I turn to face him, ready for a distraction from the dark cowboy who will haunt my dreams for many nights to come. Walking backwards, I crook my finger at him. “Yeah, dance with me,” I say loudly over the music. He looks to his friend next to him, gives him a nod then swivels his head back in my direction. Feeling bold, I hook my fingers into his belt loops when he gets close enough to me and pull him onto the floor. His smile is one I’m sure would have any woman’s stomach fluttering with butterflies, but he’s just too…perfect. I miss the dimple in Dean’s chin and the way his eyes narrow at me when he thinks I’m funny.Fuck,I curse myself, and try to get lost in the music and the sounds of boots thumping against the wood floor.
We dance for a while, until my feet ache and sweat dampens my hairline. A slow song comes on and the man beside me turns to me, reaching his arms out to pull me close. The moment his hands make contact with my skin, it all feels wrong, too wrong. But I ignore the flashing warning in my brain and let him pull me closer until our chests touch. His breath tickles my neckwhen he leans in, “Your body is insane.” I honestly can’t decide if I should laugh or gag. Resisting the urge to do either, I reply with the only thing that comes to mind,
“Thanks,” I say on a laugh. From the corner of my eye, a flash of black snags my attention. Whipping my head in that direction, I push up on my tiptoes to get a look over the sea of bodies.
“Everything ok?” I look back up at this man who I’ve given the completely wrong idea to. As much as I wish I could get drunk and fuck Dean out of my system with some nobody I just met, I know deep down that won’t erase him from my mind. Any time this man’s fingertips graze my lower back, my feet try to step away. Dean has seeped into every crack, just like ink in water, and no matter how hard I try to scrub him out, he’s stained me. His hands on my skin, his filthy mouth whispering in my ear, his tongue between my legs. Shaking my head I pull away. “I just need some water,” I call over my shoulder, already winding through the crowd back to the bar. I spot his friend leaning casually against the bar top. His eyes snap to me as I approach quickly. With a nod and smile, he turns, grabs a glass of water, and hands it to me.
“Y’all were gone a while, thought you could use a drink.”
In an attempt to delay talking to either one of them, I take a long gulp just as my dance partner slides up alongside his friend and eyes me as I drink. “Thanks,” I say back to them before turning slowly and watching the crowd. I felt brave walking in here, but now that I’m here, all I want to do is walk out the door and wallow in self-pity. Looking around the room, my mind spirals trying to work out how to make my exit. My feet throb, and I know I won’t make it far if I don’t sit down for a second. So I hop up on the stool next to the pair of them. The silence between us grows awkward, but he’s been kind enough so I lean over and ask them, “Are you two from around here?”
The pair share a look before turning back to me. “We just graduated from Colorado State. Didn’t want to go home for the summer, so we decided to stay for a while.”
