His voice echoes in my head and I quickly drop down from Queen, taking in our surroundings as another large drop of rain plunks the top of my head.
“We’re good, girl. It’ll pass.” I’m not sure if I’m reassuring her or myself at this point. We’ve been standing in the trees, not a place we want to be. A few yards ahead, I can see a break in the tree line leading to an opening into a green, grassed valley. The closer we get to the clearing, the heavier the rain becomes, dark clouds covering the sun. In the couple minutes it takes us to reach the valley, the rain is falling in sheets. I know the trees aren’t safe, but it offers us a bit of shelter from the heavy downpour. I peek up at the towering pines and make sure we’re standing under one of the shorter ones. Pulling Queen’s nose into my chest, I do my best to pull my backpack over the two of us, shielding our faces from the cold drops.
“We’re ok, we’re good,” I whisper against her soft nose, my skin pebbling with goosebumps as the temperature drops steadily. I think of my jacket, laying in a puddle in the bed of my truck. Shivers take over and my fingers ache with how tightly I grip my pack. A bright flash strikes the treetops above us, and a rumble that shakes the ground drops me to my knees. I scream out as the top of one of the taller pines snaps above me. Queen rears back, her front hoof connecting with my head in the process. Pain slices across my head, and the world goes black just as I see Queen take off into the clearing, leaving me laying in mud as pine needles and splintered bark rain down around me.
dean
I spinthe pink hat between my hands as I wait by my truck. The crowd of the small arena filled quickly. I woke up this morning, my eyes landing on the hat I bought for Hannah yesterday at Mitchells. The dusty rose colored leather jumped out at me the moment I walked back into the lobby. I didn’t need to look at any others to know this deserved a place on her head. When I checked her dot on my phone, my heart sped up, seeing her moving quickly towards me. But that was hours ago. Check in has passed, her event is coming up fast, and I haven’t seen her. I’m about to grab my phone and see where she is, but boots against gravel grow louder as someone rounds my trailer. A shorter man with gray hair and bowed legs closes the space between us.
“Dean Wilder,” he says like he already knows who I am. I dip my chin in return, placing Hannah’s hat on the driver's seat then turning to face him. “I’m Matthew, Hannah’s riding coach.”
“Nice to meet you, sir.” I reach out my hand which he takes in a firm shake, the squeeze he gives my hand is one a father would give, he’s protective of my girl. That makes me like him instantly.
“There will be a time soon I hope where we can talk about your intentions with Hannah…” I cock a brow at him. “But for right now, I wanted to see if you know where she is?” His question makes my heart stop, face falling, blood running cold. “She should be here.” I was hoping I’d missed her, maybe that she pulled in late and didn’t have time to seek me out. I snatch my phone off the center console.
“I’ve tried calling her already,” Matty says from behind me, but I’m too busy pulling up her location to respond.
“Shit.” Her dot is stuck in the middle of a big green square. A boom sounds from the distance, the crowd letting out a collective groan followed by a sequence of lightning flashing across the sky in a jagged line.
Where are you?
I type out a text, praying to see those dots pop up and ask,Who is this?But they don’t come. A minute passes before my fingers jab at the screen.
Darlin’ don’t play with me.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just picked up a storm headed in this direction. We’re advising everyone in attendance to take shelter in your cars. We’ll let you know when it’s safe to return to your seats.” Another flash tears across the sky.
I’m in my truck in a heartbeat, slamming my door as Matty tries to yell at me through my window. My tires fling rocks and dirt up as I maneuver my trailer around the exiting crowd and onto the main road.
“Hang on, darlin’,” I mutter as rain begins to beat down on my windshield.
Thirty minutes has never passed by as slowly in my life. The wipers can’t push the rain off fast enough, and the dark,winding freeway has me letting off the gas more than I’d prefer. My fingers drum restlessly against the steering wheel. Countless scenarios race through my mind. Best case, she’s waiting it out in her truck. Worst case…
“Fuck!” I slam my palm against the dash. Another flash lights up the sky, and a split second later, thunder shakes the truck. Her dot disappears underneath mine as I pull off the road onto a small dirt road leading towards the dark outline of the mountain before me. My headlights land on her truck parked on the side of the lot, and my heart stops in my chest. I’m lucky I was able to shift into park before I’m out of my cab and racing to her truck. Dread settles when I tug on the handle.Locked.I peek in the windows.Empty.
Splashing through puddles, I load my pack, and within minutes have Ghost out of the trailer, hastily saddled, and I’m off. My headlamp is the only light I have, and even that is doing nothing to help my visibility through the onslaught of rain and darkening sky. The trail is decently marked, but I try to hold back from pushing Ghost into a full on sprint. Hannah could be anywhere, and the harder the rain falls and further the sun slips behind the mountain, the more uneasy I become. I have no idea how long she was out here and how far she could have gotten. Every so often, I pull Ghost to a stop and call out her name, waiting for a moment, straining to hear anything over the pounding of the rain. My jeans are soaked. Thankfully, I was thinking clearly enough when I jumped out of my truck to pull on my rain jacket over my sweatshirt. It’s keeping my upper body dry despite the fact that it’s become glued to my skin from the amount of water it’s keeping off. My fingers are so stiff I can hardly feel them holding onto the reins. If anyone else were out here, I’d send them a prayer of a swift night, but it’s not just anyone. It’s Hannah.MyHannah. One thing is clear to me—there is no turning back until she’s in my arms.
I had a timer on my watch just as Ghost and I hit the trailhead. Pulling my phone out and wiping the droplets from the screen, I take a mental note that we’ve been riding for close to an hour.Fuck!The desperation starts to settle in and my vision goes hazy. I’ve lost her once before, I can’t let her slip away. Not when she feels so fucking close I can almost taste her on my lips. “Hannah!” I shout, my voice disappearing into the trees around me. “Please, baby. Hannah!” My voice cracks as I succumb to the idea that maybe we’ll both be out here all night.
Ghost’s head jerks up, his ears pointed straight to the sky. “What do you hear, boy?” I squint through the rain, he takes a step forward and I relax the reins, letting him take a few paces into the trees. “Hannah!” I call again, pushing low hanging branches out of my way. A soft, whinny sounds not too far in front of us and my heart crawls out of the hole I’d dug. “Queen?” Another snort, but I can’t see more than five feet in front of me. A crack lights up the sky, and in the split flash of light, I make out the outline of a horse just a ways ahead of us. The light is gone so fast my eyes don't have time to adjust to the darkness we’ve been thrown back into. My boots sink into the muddy ground when I jump down, looping Ghost’s reins around my fist and walking further into the trees. “Hannah!”
“D-Dean?” I hadn’t realized how scared I was until the moment I finally heard her voice. Soft and trembling, and fuck, does it rip my heart out of my chest and toss it into the mud. I knew before how much she meant to me, but in this moment, I realize I may actually love this woman. My heart is hers, and she just pulled it unknowingly from my body. I close the distance between us as fast as I can pull my boots from the mud that sucks them in with each step. Another flash of light seems to linger in the sky long enough for me to see her tucked under Queen in a tight ball.
Dropping to my knees, I pull her into me. She’s shaking so hard I can hear her teeth chattering together. Her skin is so cold it feels like ice under my hands. “Dean?” She looks up at me, reaching a quivering hand out to run it along my cheek, almost as if she can’t quite believe I’m real.
“It’s me, darlin’,” I rasp, kissing her temple as I drop my bag to the ground. It takes a moment for my frozen hands to fumble around in the pack before I find what I’m looking for and pull out the small packet that holds a silver emergency blanket. I tug off my rain jacket, which is almost impossible with the hold it has on my arms, then wrap it around her. I run my hands up and down her body in an attempt to warm her, then rip the package open with my teeth. I pull her into me, wrapping the blanket around both of us. She sags into me, her wet hair soaking into my sweatshirt. Queen and Ghost push together, creating a small barrier around Hannah and I, tucked against the trunk of a tree. My headlamp flickers, and with numb fingers I click it off to preserve whatever battery is left, pulling Hannah harder against my chest. The thin, aluminum blanket keeps the finite amount of body heat we have trapped between us, and after a while, my fingers tingle as the blood rushes through them again. “What are you doin’ out here?” I’m not necessarily angry at her, but I can’t help the rage that laces my words.
It’s difficult to see them, but I can feel her brown eyes peek up at me, “I-I…” she stammers, her teeth still clicking against each other, “…came to remember,” she finally gets out. “Came to forget.” She says the next part so quietly I have to lean in to hear her.
“Remember? Remember what, baby?”
“Remember them.” The next strike of lightning hits the tip of a tree across the clearing from us. The horses pull away from us, but my grip on their reins holds them in place. Hannah’s cry is a muffled scream from her place tucked against my chest. Tryingto distract her, I pull the blanket around our heads, drowning out the roar of thunder.
“And what are you out here trying to forget, hmm?” My voice fills the small space, but I can feel her breathe even out when she answers.
“I used to ride this trail with my parents. I was sick all night about the thought of coming back here, especially on the anniversary of their accident. So sick I had to spend the night at some run down gas station in Wyoming.”That explains why her location didn’t move until this morning, I think to myself, giving her a squeeze. “When I saw this trail, I realized that I’ve been pulling away from everything that they would want for me.” I feel her move around and then her legs swing over mine, straddling me. I keep the blanket tight around us, grateful for this small sanctuary from the storm just on the other side. “Every good thing that I felt unworthy of experiencing because it felt like I was leaving them behind. But when I saw this trail it felt like a sign from them. Like they were telling me that it’s ok to live…” Her nose brushes mine. “To be happy.” Then her lips brush over mine. I want to believe it was on purpose, but in the pitch black of our makeshift tent, it’s hard to see anything clearly. “To love.” They press into me.Not an accident.I kiss her back, but she pulls away before I can deepen it. “So I took this ride to remember them.” Her fists wrap into the fabric of my damp sweatshirt. “And to forget the idea that I need to live in misery and anger for something that I have no control over.”
I drop my forehead, resting it against hers as our breaths mingle together. “Darlin’.”
