Nodding up at him, I whisper softly, “Of course.”
“Grab a jacket.” He eyes my sweats and baggy shirt before nodding again and turning to his truck. He makes quick work of dropping his trailer then opening the passenger door for me, helping me in before climbing in the driver's seat.
We pull out of the arena, the crowds of people leaving the stadium weave around us. After a few turns through the cute downtown, Dean turns the truck onto a dirt road. The only sound inside the truck is the tires rolling from the smooth asphalt onto the rocky road. We drive in silence, his hand resting on my upper thigh, mine running over his inked forearm. Every now and then I peek over at him, but his eyes stay on the road in front of us. I let the silence stretch between us, knowing he’ll open up when he wants to.
That’s the thing I love most about us. We know when to let things just…be. It doesn’t feel like withholding information to hurt the other, but trust that when we need one another, we’ll be there.
The lights from the city fade out and the truck winds through pines so tall, the tops disappear into the dark sky. Pressing closer to the glass, I can see the stars above us, popping up in handfuls the further out we get. A few more minutes pass before Deanpulls the truck off to the side. Shutting the truck off, he hops out without a word, pulling open the back door and pulling out armfuls of blankets and pillows.
I wait as he jumps up in the bed of the truck, rustling around for a minute or two before bounding down and opening my door. He turns me in my seat, my legs framing his hips. The breeze rustles gently through the trees, blowing a few tendrils of my hair loose. Nothing but space stretches around us, and it feels so comfortably intimate to be here alone with Dean. We don’t have anywhere to be, don’t need to worry about someone catching us together. Leaning into his touch, his fingers grazing my cheek, I can’t help but wonder what happened and who that man was.
“Your hair was down tonight,” he mumbles, his thick fingers winding a strand around them. Looking up into those clear blue eyes, I nod against his hand. “I loved it…” My lips tingle with the way he stares down at them. “My wild girl.” Then his lips are on mine. He leaves hungry, wet kisses against my lips, my face, down my throat and chest. Over too soon, he nestles his forehead into my neck and takes long, deep breaths. Then he pulls away, lacing his fingers through mine and pulling me to the back of the truck. He lifts me effortlessly into the bed before jumping up beside me and laying us down in the mountain of blankets.
We don’t talk for the longest time. Just stare up at the endless sea of the night sky above us. The stars when you’re out in the middle of nowhere are a vision that you won’t know until you experience it. It’s been a while since I let myself forget the world and get lost in the sea of stars that remind me how simple life can be if we just let it. Our legs are wrapped around each other with my head on his chest, his fingers in my hair.
“Is it painful to be back in Colorado without your family?” I break the silence, but regret it instantly when his fingers pause.
“It’s…difficult to be here, yeah.”
“I understand. I’ll be riding back in Oakley in a couple weeks. That’s where I’m from.”
“I know where you’re from, darlin’.” His chest rumbles with that deep laugh.
“That’s true, I guess.” Looking up at him, I ask, “Who was that man, back at the arena?”
His eyes bounce around my face, then he looks back up at the stars, resting his head back against his arm. Just as I’m about to look away, convinced that’s the end of our conversation, he answers.
“Someone I used to know. Someone who I hurt a long time ago. So long ago that it’s painful to imagine a time when we weren’t strangers. It’s easier to forget that time of my life.” Then in a whisper, he mutters, “He shouldn’t have been here.” I want to ask so much more, dig deeper into this man who I’m quickly falling for. But part of me worries that if I push too much, I’ll end up pushing him away.
“Tell me why you love riding?” I ask, turning my head to rest my chin on my arms. I watch the way his eyes seem to light up, his thoughts undoubtedly replaying every second he’s sat on top of a wild bronc.
“It’s such a high. I’m sure you feel the same way, but nothing has ever come close to the adrenaline rush I feel when that buzzer sounds. It’s like rolling the dice at a casino every time that gate flies open.” A wide grin splits his face, and for the life of me, I can’t look away. “Nothing compares to the way it feels when I make a good, controlled ride, being in perfect sync with the horse while he’s trying his best to throw me off and I’m doing my best to hang on.” My breath catches when he tips his chin down and gives me a better view of that smile. “I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it.” I smile back up at him, feeling like I’m getting a piece of Dean Wilder that no one else ever gets.
Wanting to keep that smile on his face and get all I can out of him while he’s opening up, I ask, “I know when I’m riding it happens so fast, I don’t really have time to pay attention to everything going on around me. But when your ride is done, you have a chance to soak it all in. What goes through your mind when your time is up?”
“You’d make one hell of an interviewer, darlin’.” He winks at me, then settles back into the blankets, pulling a corner up and over my back.Ugh, my heart flips when he does things like that. “I’ve trained my mind over the years to go silent the moment I slide down into that chute. When it comes to riding, it’s all muscle memory and relying on what I’ve practiced and trained to do.” I marvel at the way his eyes sparkle while he talks, “Every horse reacts differently, and I have to be so in tune to not just my body, but how he’s moving. It feels like being in an eight second tornado. I don’t notice the crowd until I’m on my feet. That’s when the energy and noise of everyone in the stands starts to come back into focus.”
I hum in response, picturing the rides I’ve seen him do over the past few weeks. He’s perfected the ride, mastered how to control his body and read the bronc he’s on. When I look up, I find his eyes already on me. Narrowing his eyes playfully, he asks, “Any other questions?”
“Just one.” I laugh, throwing a leg over him and rolling on top of his chest so we’re almost nose to nose. “Do you think you’ll ride forever?”
He considers this for a moment, biting the inside of his lip while his fingertip traces the angles of my face. “Forever is a long time.” His touch stills briefly. “I’ve been at it for about thirteen years, my body feels much older than it should. If something better came along, it wouldn’t take much for me to quit.” His words hold a hidden promise. Something heavy settles in my gut, and I can’t help but wonder if he’d give it all up for me.Breaking away from his intense stare, I slide off him and settle once again against his side. My body is suddenly enveloped in his warmth as he pulls me hard against him.
“Are you nervous about going home?”
Grateful for the change in subject, I shrug. “A bit. It’s not the first time I’ve been through there, but it’s also close to the anniversary of my parents passing. So everything just feels heavier. I’ll have Matty there. And I do love Oakley, it’s gorgeous this time of year. But no matter how much time passes, there is always something missing when I go home.” I blink away unwanted tears.
“I’ll be there,” Dean says softly, wiping a runaway tear from my cheek. I lean up to kiss the corner of his mouth.
“I’d love that,” I whisper.
We both look back up at the stars, lost in our own thoughts, until my eyes drift shut.
dean
It doesn’t take longfor Hannah to drift off in my arms, the smell of her shampoo floating around me, grounding me. I tug a blanket up around her shoulders and pull her closer. The moment I heard my name, I knew it was him. Turning around and seeing an older version of my baby brother damn near took me out. He looked taller, more filled out. He looked like a man. And it made me feel like shit. The fucker had the audacity to smile at me, like I didn’t blow up his dreams all those years ago. I pound my fist against my forehead then pull at my hair, looking down to make sure I didn’t wake Hannah. Closing my eyes, I relive it all like I’m back standing in the gravel parking lot with my little brother staring back at me.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I seethe, shoving Owen around and walking us away from Hannah.
