“Mornin’, darlin’.” His voice is coated in a sleepy drawl, making his accent even thicker. His beard scratches against my skin, his hands pull me against his hard body. Before I can get lost in him all over again, there is a soft knock on my door.
“I have no idea who that is,” I whisper quietly into Dean's chest.
With a gentle squeeze and quick kiss to my head, he slips out of the bed, his black briefs doing nothing to hide his incredible body in the early light. I’m stuck staring at him as he crosses the space and opens the door, mumbling something to the person on the other side. A few moments later, he slides into the seat at the table, placing a couple paper bags on the linoleum surface. The smell of bacon and fried egg fills my trailer, and my stomach growls in agreement. An amused look graces his face, setting two cups of steaming coffee down before pulling out the food from the grease stained bags.
“You comin?” he asks around a mouthful of food.
“How did you…” I start, motioning to the food in front of me as I slip into the seat across from him. I jump when my bare feet graze his. Meeting his eyes, I give him a shy look. His eyes are filled with humor, looking back at me. In a heartbeat, he stretches his long legs under the table up onto my seat, caging me between them.
“I was up a few hours ago. Figured we’d need some food before we head out.” I feel the content look on my face melt right off. It’s not that I forgot we have places to be, a whole summer of events that will pull us away from each other, but the sudden realization that our time is ending, for now at least, stings a bit. “Gonna miss me.” There isn’t a note of humor in his voice. It’s a statement, an honest one at that.
Biting my lip, I look up at him from under my lashes, twisting the wrapper of my breakfast sandwich between my fingers nervously.Rule number two, Hannah! Rule number two!
“Not in the slightest,” I lie, taking a huge bite before I admit that I want to throw the rules out the window and give us a real shot. Dean Wilder is a paradox. One that I’m not sure how I’ll ever get figured out. One day, the thrill of being with this man, a man who is so sure of himself, such a mystery to everyone including me, will wear off. It’ll be a story that I relive when I feel lonely. One day, I’ll see him at events we’re both in, smile and wave, and thinkhe was a good time.But that’s all this can ever be. I can’t do that to my heart again, can’t let someone close. Can’t take the risk that one moment I’ll wave them goodbye not knowing it’ll be that last time. I don’t think I’d ever survive it.
We don’t talk while we eat. Every now and then our eyes meet, he’ll give me a wink, nudge me with his toes, and I’ll giggle back. It’s comfortable, easy. So I tell my rationale to fuck off and force myself to just be content in the moment. For once in my life, I let go of trying to have it all planned out. If there is one thing I take away from my escape underneath, or on top of, hopefully, Dean Wilder is to embrace the wild. Get hung up, even for a moment.
The food is gone far too soon—not that I’m not full. Dean ordered an obscene amount of food. I didn’t realize how much this man needs to put down to fuel a body of his size. He towers over me by at least a half dozen inches, and I’m not short. But I feel empty as I watch him gather his clothes, sliding his black jeans over his inked thighs. It shouldn’t make me wet to watch him get dressed, but I feel warmth flood my veins. I should want the opposite. I drink him in, still tucked in my spot at the table. Resting my chin on my knee, I follow him as he steps back up to my bed, bending down and tucking something in his pocket before walking back over to me.
“Where you headed tonight?” he asks as he leans down and kisses the top of my head. He’s done that so many times in the past few days, but every time it hits me that such an intimate gesture does weird, twisty things to my insides. The heat from his chest so close to me is intoxicating, and it takes me a moment to respond.
Standing, I follow him to the door. “Tucson,” I say breathlessly as he grabs his hat from the spot he left it last night and tips it onto his head. He bends over to grab his chaps, and I cross my fingers behind my back and bite my lip, hoping he doesn’t notice the pink heart I drew on them with my nail polish this morning. “You?” I ask, silently praying it distracts him enough to not look close enough at the leather.
“Scottsdale.” He opens my door and the early Arizona heat is already unbearable. Turning to look up at me, I unashamedly let my gaze trail slowly over his bare chest. I want to tell him I’ll miss him, or that Scottsdale isn’t that far from Tucson and we could meet up later tonight.
“Goodluck,” is all that comes out instead. I smile at him, but it feels out of place with how my heart feels. Dean steps down on the bottom step, putting him at eye level with me. My breath catches in my throat at the intensity burning in those gray eyes.
“No, darlin’,” he says just above a whisper. If I thought it was hot outside, my trailer is sweltering. “I don’t need luck, I already got you.” The way those eyes seem to cloud over with lust has me clenching my thighs together, remembering how it felt to have him look at me like that when he was between them. The moment doesn’t last long enough before he turns and heads across the parking lot to his truck, those long legs I want to climb between covering the distance in no time at all.
Tucsan is sohot in July that everyone hides out inside until the sun dips down. Queen is grateful for the air conditioned practice arena that we’ve spent most of the day in. Despite being across a walkway from the rodeo grounds, I can hear the crowd as if we were all in the same space. I’m smiling for a few different reasons tonight. I feel a little less…uptight. A few of the other barrel racers and their horses are circled up in the middle, laughing and talking while we wait. I tap my heels against Queen and walk us slowly into the group.
“No you didn’t!” one of the girls whispers. “Mallory! You little slut!” she teases, the group erupting into a fit of giggles.
“Shut it, Steph. You would, too!” Mallory points a finger in the girl's direction before wiping the tears running from her eyes from laughing so hard.
“What did I miss?” I ask, I lean back on my hands, resting them on the saddle behind me, trying to hide the shake in my fingers. I’m friendly, but I don’t go out of my way to make friends, and I’m sure it’s a shock to them all to find me suddenly interested in their lives. But no one says anything or looks at me in any other way than welcoming. All of them look in my direction, their faces full of unspoken welcome, then push their horses a little wider apart to include me. A warmth I didn’t realize I was living without spreads in my chest.
“Mallory here,” the girl I’m assuming is Steph nods in Mallory’s direction, “hooked up with a cowboy last night.” My eyes bulge a bit, but I bite my tongue from jumping in with ano way, me too!
“Ohhh, who’s the lucky guy?” Leaning in, I look around the group for answers, but they all look at Mallory. Guess I’m not the only one left guessing.
Mallory’s eyes shimmer with excitement, but she pulls her fingers across her lips and throws a pretend key over her shoulder. “Can’t say.” If Dean wasn’t in my bed last night, I’d honestly be worried she finally got her chance. I remember the way she looked at him that night a few weeks ago. Jealousy swirls its way through me, but memories of Dean looking down at me while I had his dick in my mouth washes it away just as quickly.
“Hey!” I look over toward to voice and find Mia, a girl I grew up riding with. Her bright blue eyes stand out from under her jet black hair. She grew up a few cities south of Oakley, so we’d often find ourselves in the same events growing up. Mia has always been kind, and I realize how much I’ve missed her energy. A calm that I remember always put an ease to my pre-race nerves. She leans over and puts her hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too, Mia.” I return her smile. “Let’s get together after the season ends, ok?” Her eyes round out before she nods enthusiastically.
The announcement that our event is up next breaks us apart, and we all give Mallory a look of annoyance before we separate. “This isn’t over, Mallory!” Steph calls over her shoulder before taking her place as the first rider. Laughter fills the arena, and I find myself laughing right along with them.
Another first placeunder my belt feels good, but it would feel better if Dean were standing across the stage from me tonight.
“Good ride tonight, Hannah.” Kasey throws his arm over my shoulder as we walk down the steps of the stage. Both of us placed first in our events, mainly because Dean wasn’t here to win the bare back event, but I don’t point that out to him.
“You too. Finally got your win.” I look up at him and see why girls fall over themselves. He is charming, with perfect, white teeth and bright blue eyes that twinkle when he smiles. His energy is intoxicating. And honestly, I’m happy that he’s wiggled his way into my non-existent circle of friends.
“Hannah!” The wind is knocked out of me when a denim-clad woman with a black mass of hair about tackles me to the ground.
“Mallory,” I mumble as she squeezes me. I peel her off me with a groan.
