But it’s also very private and extremely embarrassing for me.
Even if I’m the victim, it’s actually easier right now for me to be the bad guy and for this to all fizzle out and go away, ratherthan there be a scandal about how, when Lincoln was currently working at the job he’s known for, he slept with Sarah.
Knowing the internet and how weird they are, they’d probably get off on that shit. Since everyone wants him and Sarah together so freaking badly, they can have their happy ending. I just want peace and quiet.
I’ve been walking all over town, hopping shuttle to shuttle, looking for jobs. Filling out applications online and in person. It’s insane, how impossible it suddenly becomes to find work the moment you actuallyneedit.
You’re either “too qualified,” “underqualified,” or they just don’t want you but don’t have the balls to say why. It’s a helpless feeling, knowing you need a job badly and seeing no end in sight. Eventually, I stop in the middle of a park and just breathe.
I even went to Hudson Vale to see if they had anything there. Nothing, of course. I look for delivery jobs, the ones that Lincoln and I used to do.
They’re at capacity as well. I have to do something soon.
So I call my cousin.
“Yeah. Do you have any jobs out your way in North Carolina? Like anything at all?”
“Unless you want to be a hooker, plenty of jobs with that,” Jada chortles.
I laugh, because Jada always makes me laugh.
“You could try looking at churches,” she tells me. “They’re always looking for new people. It doesn’t pay well, but it’s something.”
The last thing I want is to be judged going to a church.
People obviously use the internet and know who I am.
I just want to fade back into obscurity.
Online, I look for everything I can. Babysitting, cleaning.
Of course, I got accepted to a babysitting job, which was easy enough until the parents asked me if I had an altercation at Macady’s. Humbly, I admitted I did, but it was a very nuanced situation. The parents didn’t want to hear any more after that.
They didn’t want someone violent around their child, understandably. I can’t even blame them.
And to make things worse, my remote job laid off a bunch of people. Guess who was among them?
I’m going to end up being homeless.
Then I get a ping.
Wow. It says the listing is right here in New Denver.
This is good.
House cleaning and cat sitter.
I love animals, anything that has to do with animals, I’m okay with it, but they also want me to house-sit.
I answer back immediately, feeling desperate, hoping the recruiter won’t sense that on me.
I type out a short blurb:
“Hi! I would absolutely love to take the job. I enjoy cleaning, I love animals, and I’m available whenever you need me. Please let me know if there’s anything else you’d like from me.”
The homeowner writes back and says, great, asking me if I can start on Monday.
I would start now if I could.
