“Yes now that you’re here,” Sarah had said.
I remember how in that moment I kept telling myself how I needed to leave and get out of that apartment. I needed to leave right that second. When my dick started getting hard looking at her, when my balls started to tighten up, I needed to leave. That’s exactly what I started to do. Right before she said what she did.
“I have something to confess and I know it’s inappropriate but it’s bugging me and I want to move past it,” she said, causing me to turn around and face her.
“What?” I asked her.
“Yesterday I… I don’t know. I feel like I caused trouble and I know that it’s wrong but I have feelings for you. So maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore. I know we have to work together and that part is going to be difficult. But maybe we should just try to cut it down as much as possible and try to be professional. I don’t want to be… a thorn in your marriage. I mean for crying out loud every night I touch myself thinking about you. That doesn’t happen to me. I usually don’t fixate on one person but… with you it’s becoming… unhealthy.”
And that’s all it took. My hard-on roared awake. The truth is, many times I touched myself to thoughts of her too. I didn’t think it was a problem because it was fantasy. But the curiosity kept building over and over.
What would it be like to fuck Sarah?
What if I made a move, would she accept?
What if I hadn’t been married?
What kind of life would we have had if I had met Sarah and not my wife?
All things that I thought were healthy questions any human man would ask.
I bit my lip in that moment because I was fighting a war in myself to be faithful and… next thing I knew, I hugged her.
“I appreciate you being honest with me. And you’re right. The truth is… I’ve had thoughts about you too. And I don’t blame you as much because you’re not married but I am,” I said to her.
She replied by nodding. “Your wife deserves all of your dedication. I’m sorry that I overstepped those boundaries and it won’t happen again.”
God damn it, I could feel how hard I was against her, and holding her in my arms made me crazy, and I knew everything within me was screaming not to do it. Not to kiss this woman. I don’t even know how my lips ended up on hers.
And the worst part is this wasn’t the first time my lips ended up on hers.
It had only been a little over a week before that point, that day I had come back almost 3:00 a.m. in the morning, that I was making out with Sarah. The both of us had a little too much to drink and I was kissing her. It was an accident and I was on the chair and she straddled me, but I was able to stop it before it got too far, right as my hands were beginning to sneak up her shirt.
I felt so guilty, but she assured me that nothing happened. I didn’t want to tell my wife because nothing happened. We kissed each other, but it’s not like we meant to.
But that day that we did mean to… there was no excuse. And that was the first time, just a day after I had rescued her from her situation… while my wife was in the passenger-side seat… just the day after that, I ended up fucking Sarah.
I remember how much I cried afterwards, ironically moving mechanically like the robots I worked on at work. The day afterthat, she didn’t come to work, and I called her to see if she was okay.
All I could think about was how guilty I felt, and so I tried my best to put it out of my mind as I made love to my wife, convincing myself that I loved Gabby more than anything and it was just merely a surface-level attraction.
I don’t love Sarah, of course. Only Gabby has that love, the one that nobody else has, but it didn’t stop thoughts of my dick sliding into Sarah’sbeautifulpink pussy. It didn’t stop thoughts of how much I loved it, how fast I came, in only two minutes, all the tension from wanting her having busted as fast and as hard as I did.
And at some point, the desire and the constant erections I would have over her, the way my dick would throb at thoughts of her, or how I would get just being beside her at work, it would override the guilt that I was supposed to feel for cheating on my wife.
It’s not like I can concentrate at work anyway. Not with Sarah beside me always wearing her tight clothes and her beautiful smile and her pretty blonde hair looking neat in a ponytail, and me remembering how messy it looked after I fucked the shit out of her.
Then it became a regular thing where in every break we got, we would go to her apartment. There have been three days out of the last week that we played hooky from work just so we could sleep together.
It was exciting, and I knew at some point, I knew at some point, it was going to have to stop. I just didn’t know how. The last thing I expected was for my wife to show up at Sarah’sapartment. How she even got in, I don’t know. But now, as I kneel crumpled on the floor holding my painful testicles, pain radiating throughout my stomach, I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me.
Tears flow no longer from the pain in my groin, but at the thought that I messed up everything, ruined my marriage over something so stupid I could have avoided.
But maybe this is for the best.
Sarah had told me that sometimes people don’t work out, and life leads people in different directions.
Maybe I was nevermeantto be with Gabrielle.
