He ambled toward her. Her eyes widened at the sight of him struggling to reach her, but she did not rise. She still had Melody in her arms, sleeping softly. Then, her eyes lowered to the spot where he was bandaged.
“But Lord Cotswell said that it was a flesh wound, what you h-had,” she stammered.
“It is a flesh wound. I will be fine,” he reassured her, placing his hand over the spot.
“He told me Penwike may never leave prison ever again,” she added.
“Yes, he is gone, Victoria,” Richard confirmed, walking closer until he stood over mother and child. “The feud is over. You’ve witnessed the end of it in the study. Today, at Dr. Merryweather’s office, I realized just how much time I’ve wasted fighting ghosts.”
“Oh, now, you realized?” she asked, smiling.
She stood up, her face almost grazing his chest by their closeness. Richard’s breath caught. His wife walked toward the bassinet, where she rested Melody. The baby was sound asleep, and he hoped he would be for the rest of the night.
“I owe you a million apologies, Victoria. I know that sounds exaggerated, but that is what you deserve. You also need to know the truth of my cowardice,” he admitted, even as he winced once more.
“It hurts?” she asked, looking worried. Her hand lifted, hovering inches from his wound.
“A little.”
“I could never see you as a coward, Richard Weston,” Victoria declared. “However, you have hurt me so many times. So many times.”
“I am so sorry, Victoria. None of my million apologies will ever suffice,” Richard said, bowing his head. “My cowardice is real, but perhaps different from the usual. I was afraid of losing something I never thought I would ever have. In the process, I lost the thing I was afraid to lose, if that makes sense. I was self-destructive just like my father and my brothers were, even though I swore to be different from them. I thought that I could protect you better than they ever had each other. Their closeness became poison as they made each other fear and hate. The more I tried to avoid that, the closer I got.”
Richard sank onto the ottoman near her feet, ready to kneel if need be. He loved her. He knew that now. It took him a long time to admit it and to understand that he deserved to know what it felt like.
“When I saw Penwike about to strike you, I was afraid for you, Victoria,” he lamented. “I did not notice the blood dripping from my side. I was more afraid of losing you than losing my life. Because of it, I’ve lost all logic. All I knew was that I could not live a life without you, even though that seemed to be my mission all the while.”
“To rid yourself of me?” Victoria asked cheekily.
She always had that bright smile, one that was almost naughty. It always looked like she was keeping secrets from everyone else, and he liked it like that.
“Yes,” he admitted. “I am now asking for your forgiveness. May I be allowed back into this family? I do not wish to merely protect you from afar. I want to truly be your husband and truly Melody’s father. Forever.”
Victoria’s face hardened, making Richard’s heart sink. He knew that look, the gaze that almost looked angry. Pained. She watched Melody, who was sleeping deeply. At least one of them had found perfect peace. The duchess was not yet at peace, and he could not blame her. He’d left her over and over, with her own thoughts.
“Richard, you made me feel like an interloper here at Hawksford House. It was painful. After all, we drifted toward each other with a common goal, even when we thought of this marriage as nothing but a convenient one for either of us. You wanted protection from the Penwikes through the joint forces of my brothers-in-law. On the other hand, I wanted protection from my own mother, who was willing to push me into any marriage, while also satisfying my need to have a haven. A home of my own. Then, you brought salt to my wounds by saying we didn’t have any other connection but Melody. Perhaps it would have been acceptable at the beginning, but not after you’ve kissed me. Touched me. Made me think I could be yours, and you mine. You made me think that I was no longer alone, only to pull the rug from under me, and I was back on the floor, sprawling and clutching at nothing.”
Her voice broke. Her pain had been real. He had not protected her from the pain of heartbreak, that he could be certain of.
“I now know,” he said, bowing his head as he faced the weight of his actions. He now felt accountable for every terrible decision he made, “that I had inflicted a greater wound than anything Penwike could ever inflict on us. I was wrong, Victoria. I was so stubborn to accept something so obvious. I used duty as a shield. In the end, I realized I had been so selfish, trying to steer myself away from the possibility of my own heartbreak.”
“Richard,” she murmured. “Please stand up. I—I can’t bear to see you like this.”
“No. You must hear me,” he said, reaching out to touch her hand. She let him. “I love you, Victoria. Perhaps I returned because of duties I needed to attend to, but I stayed because of you. You’ve charmed me, and you’ve made me fall in love with you. It is so much more than finding you beautiful because only a blind man could not see that about you. It was about seeing your soul and finding it entwined with mine.”
Victoria’s face softened. Even her posture seemed more relaxed. Richard let himself hope, then, that the ice around her heart had thawed.
“When I opened the door to your study, I saw the blood on your shirt,” she whispered, her voice cracking in between words. “I thought my soul left my body. I thought Penwike had taken you from me. No scandal or title could ever matter more than love or life, Richard. Life without you would never be the same if I lost you. I love you, too. Please don’t push me away again.”
“Never again,” he promised, “I say this on my life and my honor.”
Richard leaned forward and kissed her knees. Then, he let his gaze linger on Melody’s sleeping figure. He had everything before him now. He would treasure this love and life.
“I will cherish you and Melody forever,” he murmured, looking up at Victoria.
He reached out, cupping the back of her neck. She met him halfway, leaning forward to meet his lips. Their kiss was slow,soft, and almost chaste. Yet, there was a quiet desperation moving back and forth between them, a conversation that seemed to say, “Please don’t go,” and “I’ve missed you.” But they understood each other enough not to utter a word.
Then, they heard something. It was the soft voice of a little angel cooing and babbling. They broke apart and chuckled as they saw Melody kicking her little legs so strongly that she almost dislodged her blanket. Richard recognized the gesture of approval, and it was the best one he had ever received.
