He lets out a huff. “You’ve had that for a long time now, Punk.”
Oh.
“Is it why you called me? A new song?”
“I’d call you anyway.”
“I’m glad you did. But the song you were playing … I loved it. I want to be the first to hear it.”
“You will. It’s all yours.”
It’smine?What does that mean? I know he’s written songs that Sam performs solo, but it’s mine?My eyes must be sweating again, but sharing a project is intensely personal, so I won’t push.
I’m dying to hear it, but I understand. “Okay, whenever you’re ready.”
“You saw Nathan today,” he says, more of a statement than a question. My stomach clenches hearing his name.
“Yeah, but I’m done … I can’t…” I don’t know what I’m saying.
A faint swear comes through the phone. “Lu, are you okay?”
“Iheardthat,” I tease him for the muffled curse. “It might get ugly. I entertained a clown and ended up in a circus.”
“Been there,” he says, sounding carefully neutral. “Did you … break up?”
“Yes. I mean, I think so? I don’t know if I was clear enough.” I take a breath to shake off the unsettled panicky feeling. “You don’t want to hear all this.”
“I volunteer. Tell me.” He’s completely calm, but there’s no teasing in his voice. He’s all business.
“I—I don’t handle angry tirades well. My dad, you know … I’ve gotten better, but Nathan’s blowup caught me off guard.”I’m pathetic.I can’t believe I just told himthat, but it’s too late now.
Jude forcefully blows out a breath. He’s choosing his words carefully.
“Lucy. You’re notsupposedto handle angry tirades well.”
“Right, but I’m pretty resilient. I barely flinch anymore.”
That sounded better in my head.
He makes a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh, so I try to sum up the rest quickly.
“He was in a bad mood. Everything set him off. Jackson texted to check on me, then Nathan accused me of talking to his brother behind his back. Jackson sort of helped me out when he let the dog come downstairs. Nathan ran up to yell at him, and there was some fighting. I should’ve left right then.” I stop, expecting Jude to tell me everything I did wrong, but he doesn’t.
“I wish you’d never gone at all, but I know it’s hard to make decisions in the moment. What happened after that?”
“Nathan calmed down and acted like everything was fine. Like he didn’t scream at me, or accuse me of cheating, and attack his own brother. He acted like he was comforting me, but it didn’t take long to realize ‘comfort’ wasn’t where his hands were going.”
“What theHELL? Lucy! That’s…” He’s angry but quickly dials it back for my sake. “Lu, I’m so sorry.” I can picture him throwing his hat off. He’ll rub his eyes with the heel of his hand and rake it through his hair.
He’s even-tempered, but he’s not a robot. I’ve seen him angry before, but he’s never beyond reason. Never a threat. But I don’t want to be the source of any frustration or make him feel like he needs to protect me.
“It’s okay.” I try to downplay the situation. “We have very different definitions of comfort. He told me I wasn’t normal, and I left. I needed a push to walk away, and I got it.”
There’s more, but this is enough for now.
“None of this is okay. Did he hurt you? Throw things? Put his hands on you?”
“Um, he threw a remote, but it didn’t hit me.” I try to sound unaffected, but all I want is to forget it all.
