I chose someone else.
He was moving with caution. He didn’t do anything wrong.
I put my hand on his cheek. “We’re fixing it.”
He nods. “I said we’re not overthinking this, but I don’t want to rush you. You just got out of a toxic relationship. I understand if you need time to breathe.”
“That wasn’t a relationship. That was an obligation I didn’t know how to escape. I breathe better with you.”
He continues to rub a hand over my arm, eventually reaching my hand and bringing it to his lips. “I know you told me to lead, but if I get too bossy, it’s your job to put me in my place.”
“I like you bossy. Your place is right here.” I close the inch between us to steal a kiss.
“Actually, I think it’s righthere.” He teases kisses below my ear.
Ohh, yep. That spot has his name all over it.
I sigh contentedly. “Right again.”
“I should’ve gone with my gut a year ago, but I didn’t want you to feel like a rebound. Then I worried I was too much olderand having access to your house might be weird. I wanted to be sure we were on the same page. I was almost there, but I kept thinking of more reasons I wouldn’t be good for you. The mixed signals were all on me. That was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t all you. But New Year’s Eve?” I stare into his eyes, loving that I no longer feel the need to break contact.
“I messed up,” he confesses, eyes full of regret.
“Did, um…” I glance away, nervous to ask what I want to know.
“Ask me anything.”
I nod, and he kisses me softly again.
“Did Ashley call you on New Year’s Eve? When you walked outside?”
“Yes,” he confirms. “I stepped outside to be sure it wasn’t a family emergency. As soon as she said breaking up with her was a mistake, I told her I was sorry she felt that way but it was over. We broke up in August, but she’d called a few times and showed up twice. I knew it was time to cut her off for good, so I blocked her number and went back inside.”
“You didn’t have to tell me that.” I flash back to that flirty basketball game that got a little awkward when she showed up and watched. He was polite, but it was clear there was nothing romantic even then. That must’ve been late September or early October. I never saw hide nor hair of her ever again.
“I need you to know.” He tips up my chin. “In the past, I felt guilty if she was upset, so I had a habit of taking her back. But I wasn’t in love with her. Maybe ever.” He’s being so honest. I think he really does understand why I was stuck. “But New Year’s Eve … I couldn’t stop looking at you. Singing and cooking, building a snowman with Sam and Annie even though you hate being cold.”
“Can’t stand it.”
“I liked warming you up,” he says with a sly grin.
“I didn’t hate that part,” I admit, remembering the first time we sat close together and shared a blanket.
“You didn’t whine when Jace pelted you with snow. You got even. Then Sam took up the whole couch to force you closer to me. Your hair was all staticky, and your nose was pink from the cold. Then she called ten minutes before midnight, and it rattled me. Suddenly it felt selfish to kiss you. I felt old, like I had too much baggage. I couldn’t kiss you right after hanging up with her. You were so damn cute in those penguin pajamas. You deserved all my attention with no distractions if I was going to do that. She got in my head, and I fumbled at the goal line. I’m sorry.”
“Man, I hate football.” I sigh.
His laugh is low and sexy as he plays with a strand of my wild hair, listening intently and answering anything I want to know.
I drop his gaze for a beat. “When you kissed my head, I assumedthat’show you felt about me. I just figured you didn’t want that kind of relationship with me.”
He tucks the hair behind my ear and leans in to whisper, knowing it makes my pulse race.
“Don’t think for one second I didn’t want to kiss you for real. I’ve had eight months to relive that mistake. It has tortured meevery single day.”
“Jude?”
