“Don’t apologise.” Ryder lifts my chin slowly. “You don’t need to do that, not when you’re talking to me.”
I bite my lip to stop them from trembling. The pressures of the world are consuming me.
He sighs, a blink of hurt flashing beneath his hard exterior.
“Hell, I’m the one who should be apologising. We’re here because of me. You’re having nightmares because of me. If I hadn’t led you to that fucking mountain…”
“No,” I shake my head. “I wanted to come… You couldn’t have stopped me.”
“Well, I should’ve… I should’ve done whatever I could to make you stay, even if it meant having to live with you hating me.”
The sounds of the Hollow go silent, as if the forest is holding its breath, and the tears start to flow out of me.
“…It would have been better than this.” He looks around the Hollow, as if mapping out its layout.
“This is why I didn’t tell you about the dreams.”
“Nightmares, Asha, say it how they are.” He turns to face me, shadows swirling in his eyes. “You dream of me, that day, don’t you?… My hands around your neck.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that!” Ryder’s shout cracks through the air, the force of it making me jump and sending birds scattering from the trees.
The calm facade he’d been holding onto is gone. His cheeks flush with a silent, simmering rage; there’s that thought he was stewing on.
“Whoa,” River intercepts, wedging himself between Ryder and me. Tears cloud my vision. Ryder’s eyes stick on mine, his face softening before locking on River.
“I’m not going to hurt her,” Ryder says, rolling his eyes, his hands hugging the back of his neck.
“I know… I just think we all need a second to calm down.” River says, his breath slow and controlled. Nala catches my eye with a sympathetic glance.
“River, it’s fine.” I gently push at his arm, urging him to move, but he doesn’t budge.
“How can it be fine, Asha… tell me how it can be fine?” Ryder holds his head in his hands.
“We’ll find the gem and then—
“And then what? The gem may cure me, but it won’t erase the memories carved in your mind…Do you know how it feels,knowing that there is nothing I can ever do to fix it… No matter what I do, you will always see me as the person who tried to kill you.”
“That’s not true.” I shake my head, ignoring River’s stiff posture as I reach for Ryder’s arm. He jerks away from my touch, clutching his head as a sharp grunt pushes through his teeth as if he’s in pain.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
He stumbles backwards and drops onto a raised patch of the forest path.
And when he finally looks up at me—
His eyes flash a vivid, impossible purple.
Chapter Nineteen
The colour makes my knees weak as the dread settles in my stomach. The thin ring of violet light in his eyes is back…just like my dream. For a heartbeat, I cannot breathe, I cannot think. My body freezes as if my feet are stuck in an invisible quicksand.
He blinks, and it’s gone.
I let out a shaky breath, still hesitant to approach him, then River stumbles to my left, clutching his temples, the same sharp wince on his features.
“W-whats happening?” Panic claims my tone as he arches himself over a tree, retching.
