Drust suddenly went still beside her. “Husband, aye, I will do my best. But I willna be a father.”
“Oh”. Willa could hardly keep the hurt and disappointment from her voice. He didn’t want children? What man didn’t at least want strong sons to stand by his side? She couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“You do want children someday, though?”
“No, never.”
Those two words tore through her like a knife. Willa had always wanted a family and children of her own, and she had spent considerable time over the last several weeks imagining what Drust’s babies would look like, and what a good father he’d be. How could she not have known he didn’t even want a family? She had just assumed…
“But… why not?”
She thought that his eyes took on a faraway look, as if remembering something from long ago.
“I have no desire to be a father. I am a warrior, and right hand to my brother Bren. He will have the heirs. And his wife is already expecting.”
He looked down at her then, and he must have seen the hurt in her eyes, because he softened his stance and pulled her closer.
“Lass, I want to spend the rest of my days with ye, just ye and I together. I would give ye the world. Ye have me so deep under yer spell that I could never break free. But I canna give ye my child, so dinna ask me again, I dinna wish to speak of it.”
Willa looked at the ground and narrowed her eyes. She knew there was more to all this than he was telling her; he was afraid of something. And she also knew that she had time to convince him otherwise. She would let it go, for now. Besides, with any luck, she could already be carrying his child. And if her dream last night was any indication, she was. She had heard women often had dreams just after they conceived, as if to welcome the new life that their body nurtured. Last night she had dreamt of a sweet baby boy, with his father’s fathomless eyes and wavy brown hair. Her heart melted at the thought.
Drust slipped his hand under her chin and lifted her face to kiss her. He probably hoped the sexual heat between them would make her forget what had just been said. She swayed against him as his lips touched hers, desperate as always to be closer. But she wasn’t going to forget. She wanted a child one day, and she wanted Drust to be the one to give her that child. He was just going to have to change his mind.
He was still kissing her, making her whole body burn with need. “Come to me tonight”, she whispered against his lips.
“That would be wrong”, he said, teasing her. “Ye are a lady and we’re no’ wed.”
She smiled. “But Iama widow, and as such I can take any number of lovers and most people will look the other way”, she teased back. But when she looked up to see why he hadn’t answered, she was taken aback by his thunderous expression. Startled, she took a step back. His grip on her tightened, and he pulled her back to him.
“If Ieverfind another man in your bed”, he said though clenched teeth, “I will kill him. You are mine and mine alone. I will not stand for even thethoughtof you with someone else. Never.”
Willa would not have guessed even a week ago that Drust would be such a jealous man. “For weeks”, she told him, trying but failing to pull away from his grip, “I tried everything to let you know I wanted you, and you could not stay far enough away. Am I to believe that now, quite suddenly, you have not only completely changed your mind, but also think that youownme?”
“Aye.”
“I see.”
“No, ye dinna see. I wanted ye from the very first, Willa. From the moment I opened my eyes and saw ye there. I wanted ye more than I had ever wanted anything before. But I fought against it, because I… I sensed that there was more. That what was between us was like nothing else I had ever felt. I never wanted a wife, and my every instinct was telling me that if I gave in to my feelings for ye, it could lead to nothing less than marriage. But now I ken the truth… I never wanted any other woman for a wife, because ye are the only one that fits me so well. With ye, I am finally whole.That’swhy ye are mine and mine alone.”
Willa leaned closer and kissed him again.
***
Drust had never opened his heart to anyone, and he felt as if he had poured out his very soul to Willa earlier. He had expected it would make him feel uneasy, vulnerable. But instead he felt full, nearly bursting with a happiness he never even knew he was capable of feeling. And now, as he crept up the dark stairway to her room, his need for her bordered on desperation. Last night had been a frenzied coming-together of both body and soul, but tonight… tonight he would go slow. Savor every moment.
He found the door unlocked. She had been waiting for him.
She was lying on the large bed, asleep. A single candle left burning on the table bathed her in a soft, flickering light. He closed the door softly behind him, not wanting to wake her just yet. He moved to the bed and looked down at her as she slept. So beautiful. So fragile. It was still so new to him, the very idea of a woman of his own, and a part of him still panicked at the thought. But the rest of him just wanted to hold onto her and never let go. He reached out and drew his fingers over her cheek, and she sighed in her sleep. Smiling, he quickly stripped out of his clothes and lowered himself onto the bed beside her. He brought his arms around her, pulling her up against his body, pressing his aching cock firmly against her bottom. His mouth found the soft hollow of her throat and he kissed and nipped her there as she woke.
“Mmmmm… Drust… hi”, she murmured and stretched against him, and he smiled.
He reached around to cup one of her breasts in his hand, squeezing gently. He groaned and pulled her onto her back so that he could reach both breasts at once. His lips found hers and drew her into a deep, carnal kiss as he shifted his body over hers and ground his cock against her hips.
God, it felt so good! He needed more… No, go slow.
He reached up to untie the ribbon at her throat, and pulled the edges of her shift down over her breasts.Oh this was bloody torture! He lowered his mouth to a nipple and pulled at it, gently at first, then harder as Willa gasped and arched her hips against his. It drove him wild. He sucked again… her hips rose, and he groaned. Only the thin fabric of the shift was between him and what he wanted most. He was so hard, so ready. With one hand, he lifted her hem and traced his fingers up the soft skin of her thigh until he met the wet heat that told him she was just as ready for him. He touched her there, teasing, then pressing one finger inside her core. She whimpered and her fingers pressed into his arms where she gripped him.
“Please, Drust… oh god… I need you.”
