“Ah, I swear to you lass, I won’t feel a thing. I have too much pain everywhere else.”
The first time she poked the needle through living skin, her stomach rolled and she felt a little dizzy, but after the fourth or fifth stitch, she realized it wasn’t so bad. When she had finished, she had to admire her handiwork: it was as neat and even a sewing job as she’d ever done.
After each patient was tended and deemed stable enough, he was loaded onto a three wheeled wagon that reminded her of a chariot, to be brought back to Tallorc. The living would go first, Veda told her. Then the dead would be brought home and burned together on a huge pyre, honored as fallen heroes and assured special favor with the gods.
They worked through the night and into the next morning, until even the most minor cuts were stitched and the last wounded man was either on his way home, or waiting for one of the many wagons to return for another trip.
Nessa plopped down onto the ground, exhausted and covered with blood and grime, but proud that she had at least been able to help. Some of the more severely wounded probably wouldn’t live long, but most would make it home to see their families one last time. She couldn’t let herself think about that though. Her emotions were already running too high. She had watched for Bridei all night as she worked, but she had never seen him. Either he’d been busy elsewhere, or he hadn’t wanted to come near her. Eventually Veda came over and sat down next to her with a sigh.
“What a night that was.”
Nessa nodded somberly.
“Are you alright?”
“Aye. I will be.” She glanced around again.
“He’s probably on the battlefield still”, Veda said, knowing whom she searched for. “Gathering the dead and all of their belongings.”
“Oh. Well, it doesn’t really matter. He’s so angry at me. I know how badly I’ve hurt him.” She wiped at the tears welling in her eyes, realizing too late that she had probably just smeared blood all over her face. “I have to explain to you, Veda…”
“You don’t need to…I know about…I mean I know where you came from.” Veda but a comforting hand on her arm.
“But I left without telling you, or anyone. I was scared, and so confused, and I panicked. I had been trying to get back home for so long. But as soon as I got there, I realized it was a mistake. I came back because Ibelonghere, Veda, with all of you. I just hope it’s not too late.”
“I understand Nessa, I do. I’ve thought about it often since you left and we found out the truth of where you’d come from. I’m sure I would have done the same thing, for a chance to see my home and family again. In fact I know I would have.”
Nessa reached over and squeezed her hand. “Thank you, Veda. It means so much to hear you say that.”
After the last wagon load left, everyone else followed on horseback. Nessa rode alongside Veda for a while, but her gaze kept shifting to Bridei, who was riding farther ahead. All she wanted to do was talk to him and explain before all the emotion she was feeling ate her up inside. Somehow she needed to make him understand that it was him all along, and that she hadn’t really wanted to leave.Somehow.
“Go”, Veda told her, nodding towards the king. “And good luck.” She smiled and reached over to pat Nessa’s shoulder.
It was all Nessa could do to urge her mare to go fast enough to catch up to him, but at last she managed to kick, squeeze and prod the horse alongside his.
Her heart pounded. Had she ever been so nervous? “Bridei, please, can I talk to you?”
He didn’t look at her, and her chest ached with regret.
“Talk to me about what?”
“About…us.”
“There is no us, Nessa.”
“But there was.”
“Aye, there was. But now there is me, and there is you, but there is nous.”
Tears threatened, but she held them at bay. Barely. Had she really thought this would be a happy reunion?No. Desperation clawed at her chest. She knew the depth of his hurt and anger. She couldn’t blame him; she would have felt the same.
“Would you please just give me the chance to explain? I came back! I came back to you…” Oh god, she evensoundeddesperate.
He pulled his horse to a sudden stop, and the beast arched his neck in protest. This time he looked at her, and his eyes were filled with hurt and rage. “After you betrayed me with another man!” She could see the pounding pulse in his neck.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry. I panicked. I know that’s no excuse, but he told me my grandmother had died alone without me, and I didn’t even think. But I didn’t betray you, Bridei, I swear to you, Nathan never touched me. I never betrayed you!”
“I’m through talking.” He spurred his horse into a gallop, leaving her behind in the dust. Literally.
