“Set up camp, and start retrieving the dead and wounded”, he ordered. There was still much work to be done in the aftermath of battle.
Asshe rounded the hill, somehow Nessa knew exactly what she would see. The light of dozens of torches, flickering against the inky blackness of the night. This was the very scene she had once gone looking for with her friends, hoping to catch a ghostly echo of this epic battle as others had. But now…now she was actually here. Would she too become a part of the scene imprinted here for all of time? The thought sent a shiver up her spine. Her heart pounded harder. The rich coppery tang of blood and the scent of freshly kicked-up earth was thick on the breeze.
Was he alive? She both dreaded the answer and desperately needed to know, and so she rode closer, towards the side of the hill where the light glowed brightest.
The make-shift camp was lit by dozens of torches stuck into the ground at various heights, but the eastern side shown even more brilliantly; a conflagration of fiery brightness like a miniature sun. That was where the wounded were being laid out, and the extra light was needed, she presumed, to tend their wounds.
Suddenly Bridei appeared out of the gloom, and she knew him instantly, even before she could see his face. He was carrying a warrior, limp and bleeding in his arms. His huge biceps bulged and strained with the weight of the almost equally large man, but still he knelt and laid him gently on the ground within the circle of torch-light. When he stood again, he glanced up, and that is when he saw her.
“Bridei.” His name left her lips on a sob.
All of the breath left his lungs in an instant. The woman he had yearned for; the woman he had once thought he loved—was standing right before him. He suddenly felt as if his heart had permanently lodged itself in his throat.
“Nessa.”
The only thing in the world he wanted in that moment was to wrap her so tightly in his arms that she could never get away again. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.
She had left him once already, and it had torn his very soul. He’d never known a man could feel that much pain. It was that pain that rose up in him now, wrapping around his heart like a vice, mingling with his considerable pride into a bitter liquid that pulsed through his veins.
She slid off the back of her horse and came towards him, stumbling a little as her eyes clouded with tears. “Bridei…I…”
He reached out and placed two trembling fingers firmly over her mouth, silencing her. He shook his head. “You chose another man. When I would have given you the world.”
Her face fell, along with a few of the tears. “I was wrong. I was scared and confused, and I made a mistake. I came back because I wanted you more than I wanted anything else in this world. I wanted youmore.”
He dropped his hand, hating that it was still shaking. He forced himself to look away. “Go back, Nessa.”
She raised her chin. It was quivering, as if she was on the verge of tears. “I can’t go back. I can never go back. And I don’t want to. Please! At least listen to me, let me explain!”
“I have work to do”, he said coldly, but inside, he was being torn apart. His pain and pride were warring with the trembling need to take her in his arms, and he knew now what it must feel like to be eviscerated. From this day forward, he would be able to truly sympathize when he watched a man be executed.
She sniffled, her eyes bright with pain. “Okay. Then I’ll help with the wounded. I…I took first aid in college.”
He had no idea what she was talking about, but if she wanted to help, he wouldn’t stop her. They needed all the hands they could get, and he couldn’t even think about this right now…what this all meant.
Nessa’s eyes widened in shock as she took in the scene before her. There were bodies everywhere, some living and others most likely already dead, with dozens of people tending them. Most of the people who were frantically staunching wounds and splinting bones were women, but there were men as well, most of them older and perhaps past their warrior days.
Overwhelmed, Nessa scanned the crowd, looking for anyone familiar that she might latch onto for guidance. Her heart jumped with relief when she spotted Veda, bent over a wounded man, holding a cloth tightly to his leg. Nessa felt a little spark of joy at seeing her friend again and quickly headed in her direction, stepping around bodies as she went. Veda had been there when she’d first crawled out of the well, and the two of them had been growing closer every day…until she left with Nathan.
She cleared her throat, not wanting to startle her with her sudden appearance. Veda looked up and gasped when she saw her, her mouth falling open. Then a smile spread across her face.
“Nessa! I thought for a moment I was seeing a ghost! You’ve come back!”
She nodded, her own smile a little bit uncertain. She hadn’t really prepared herself for how anyone else besides Bridei might react to her sudden return. As for Bridei… well, she knew she had hurt him badly, and she was going to have to be patient and earn his trust and forgiveness, when all she really wanted was to walk into his arms as if she’d never left. But now that she was here, she also realized that she had needed the closure she’d gotten by going back and saying goodbye, to Gram, and to her old life. Now, she could pour her entire heart and soul into this time and place with no regrets.
“I have. I’m back. I’m back for good this time.” Her voice quavered, but she rallied, getting her emotions firmly under control for the moment. There were men in desperate need of care and she couldn’t fall apart. Everything else could come later. “I’m here to help, what can I do?”
“Anything you can. The worst ones are on this side. The rest can wait a while. There are needles and thread behind me in the box. Salve is in the black pot, and bandages are in the basket.”
Nessa felt her stomach clench at the thought of sewing up a wound, but she shook it off. She knew how to sew as well as anyone, and these men needed help. So what if she’d never actually sewed human flesh? It couldn’t be that different than mending fabric, right? She grabbed a lantern, a threaded needle, and a damp cloth, and found her first patient. It was a man who had a gash on his thigh, from a sword blade, she assumed. She began wiping the blood and dirt from the wound, trying to pretend she knew what she was doing. The man raised his head and looked at her.
“I know you, don’t I?”
“Do you?” Nessa couldn’t be sure she was even welcome among these people anymore. She didn’t know what had happened after she left, or what explanation might have been given for her disappearance.
“Aye, you’re the King’s lass.”
Her lips pressed together in a tight smile. “Aye. I was.” She tied a knot in the end of the thread. “This may hurt a little. I’m sorry.”
