“You will see him one last time tonight, to say your goodbyes, after his body is properly prepared. Come now, I’ll make you some nice hot tea.”
Nessa nodded, feeling a bit numb now that the shock had worn off. She let Meara take her hand, and as she stepped away, Bridei seemed hesitant to let her go. His hand stayed on her arm until she was out of his reach.
“Meara will take good care of you, lass.”
When they reached Meara’s home, she gestured to a simple stool fashioned out of a log. “Sit.”
Nessa perched on the edge and looked around. Normally such a dark and close room would bother her and she’d want nothing more than to be outside again, but at that moment it was comforting, like a cocoon that she could hide in for a while her wounds healed. All around her herbs were hanging from the ceiling, and bowls and clay jars were strewn across several shelves and tables. The air smelled of incense and pungent greenery.
“You’re a medicine woman…a healer.”
“Aye. I heal what the gods will allow me to heal.”
“And you…know things.”
“Aye. We all know things.” Meara ladled some steaming liquid from a kettle hanging over the banked fire into a cup and handed it out to her. Nessa wrapped her hands around it and breathed in the fragrant warmth. Meara sat across from her, watching for a moment with eyes that Nessa was certain saw more than most.
“Do not be afraid of what you wish to know, child. Knowledge, in all forms, is power.”
Nessa put her cup down on the table next to her and folded her trembling hands in her lap in an attempt to keep them still. “Where I come from, things are different.Reallydifferent.”
Meara nodded. “And you never expected to be here…now.”
“No. I was building a life for myself. I had people who loved me. I never even knew all this”, she waved her hand around, “coming here I mean, was possible.” Her throat was getting tighter with every word, and she knew the tears were not far behind. “And now Angus is gone, and I wonder if I’m grieving only for him, or for the fact I can never go back. I would have stayed here forever if it meant he could live…I really would have!”
“I know you would have.”
Meara’s voice…her presence, was so comforting that Nessa could feel her body relaxing by slow degrees as tears slid one after another down her cheeks.
“But Nessa dear, you are as close to him now as you have ever been. We are all timeless, ageless. The future, the past…they have no real meaning, we justare. You can be as happy here as any other time or place, I promise you.”
“I don’t think I can. What about the people I’ve left behind? How can I be happy when I know they’re hurting?”
Meara took a handful of colored stones from a basket and blew softly over them before tossing them on the table. She stared at the pattern they made for a long moment, turning her head to one side. “You have in your heart loyalty to one and passion for another. Do you honor the loyalty, or follow the passion with hope it will bring you what you truly need?”
Nessa shook her head sadly. “What do I truly need? I don’t even know anymore.”
“Your heart’s home. Your soul’s harmony with another. The time and place of your human body is irrelevant. When the time comes, you will choose, and you will know that choice is the one that has always been written in the stars. You only need to learn to read it.”
“The things you say…it’s like you know things that you can’t possibly know.”
Meara picked up one of Nessa’s hands and squeezed it gently. “Like I said, weallknow. We just have to learn how to see.”
For a moment, as Nessa looked at Meara, she saw the flicker of a different face. Perpetually young. Impossibly beautiful.
Theysat on the grassy ground near one of the many fires, and although there were people all around, laughing and talking, it felt like she and Bridei were alone together with the darkness enfolding them from behind like a blanket. He offered her the wooden goblet they were sharing, and she took another mouthful of sweet red wine made from berries and herbs. It was so strange…to finally have his trust. It would take some getting used to.
At the edge of the sea-cliff the funeral pyre still burned, and though she knew Angus’s body was now no more than ash, she still couldn’t bring herself to look at it. Now that the ceremony to send him to the afterlife was over, the celebration of life had begun, as was the custom among the Picts. People danced and laughed and the fermented beverages flowed freely. Nessa was touched that Bridei had done all of this for her uncle; a man he didn’t even know, and her spirits were slowly but steadily being dragged up out of the mire by the jovial atmosphere all around her.
These people valued life above all else; reveled in it. And yet death was always so close. She thought of Bridei. Every time he picked up his sword and went to fight, he risked death. Every single time, he knew he could die. But he alwaysbelievedhe would live. When she lifted her head, she saw that he was looking at her, watching her.
“You are lost in your thoughts tonight, Ashta. So far away.” He stroked the side of her face with a gentle finger. “What shall I do to distract you and bring you back to me?”
She leaned back a little because the mesmerizing power he had over was just too much for her to handle right then. She attempted a smile. “Tell me a story. Tell me aboutyourlife. Do you like being King?”
He was silent for a moment before he answered, looking over to the line of fires burning against the dark sky. “Once, there were four kingdoms. The Picts of the North, the Britons of the South, the Gaels of Dál Riata, and the Saxons of Northumbria. For a while, all was peaceful, except of course for the usual small problems between tribes. But when Ecgfrith became king of the Saxons, things changed. He is always hungry for more land and more wealth, and he has afflicted many of our people with his ways. They have forgotten who they are. I am here to remind them. I would do anything to see my people free and our lands returned to us.”
“Did you kill him? The last king?” She knew he did; at least that was what history had recorded.
