Pulling my eyebrows together, I grab my duffel to get my phone and turn it on, there are four calls from my twin sister, Marley, three from my older brother, Grayson, and two text messages.
Marley 20:23- Mason, call me as soon as you see this.
Gray 21:45- Dad collapsed in the barn today, he had a heart attack. It’s pretty bad, Mason, you need to come home.
The air rushes from my lungs and I try to remember the last time I spoke with my dad; I think it may have been when I called him on his birthday in the spring. He’s never been much of a talker and refuses to text. I stare at the text and cup my jaw as I slowly sink into one of the cushy leather seats.
That man has always been the rock all of us kids lean on, especially after Mom died. He’s not an affectionate man, but we were loved, and we knew it, even when he was barking out orders and making us finish our chores into the late hours of the evening with no dinner.
I can hear his voice in my head, “If you hadn’t been lollygaggin’ all day, you’d be in there eating your dinner and doing whatever you kids do after. Chores first, fun after.”
“You okay, man?” I didn’t even realize Callum had moved next to me.
I look up at him, but I don’t know what to say. Am I okay? The head of our family is sick, maybe even mortally so, I’ll bet Gray is out of his mind with stress and worry.
My shoulders fall as I realize I missed Thanksgiving last week because of a mission and didn’t think twice about it. I didn’t call because I knew I would see them all at Christmas.
He’s only sixty-two, he’s supposed to have at least another twenty years in him.
Callum slides his hands in his pockets and leans against the seat across from me. “Marley left a voicemail to tell me what happened and to tell you to check your phone.”
You could hear a pin drop; the rest of the guys are trying to be respectfully quiet even though they don’t know what’s going on yet.
Leaning forward to put my elbows on my knees, I scrub my face with my palms, slowly pulling them down my cheeks. My mom is the only person close to me I’ve ever known who died, but I was only eight and didn’t understand regret. I remember feeling sad and confused, but what if Dadhad died today?
I almost robbed myself and my dad of something that I can’t fix. Time. How many times have I thought to myself that I should call him, but then tell myself I’ll do it later? More times than I care to admit, that’s for fucking sure.
Whether I like it or not, I need to start going home more often, I look up at Callum, “I need to go home.”
Callum’s hand lands on my shoulder and he squeezes, “Take all the time you need; we’re not doing anything anytime soon. Enjoy the holidays with your family.”
CHAPTER FOUR
OWASSO, OK
MASON
As I look at the half-empty glass of whiskey in front of me, the logical side of my brain says to stop after this one, but I shut that little voice down and toss the rest back while signaling the bartender for a refill. It’s the only thing numbing the guilt that’s telling me what an asshole I am.
Of having to face the fact that I almost lost my father.
Who I haven’t spoken to in over six months.
They are expecting me home tomorrow. I didn’t tell them I got into town this morning because I need some time to myself, just a minute alone before I have to see the man who was always bigger than life as mortal and fragile. The man who only ever works and takes care of his family and tried to instill in all of us that family always comes first.
There is also my twin sister, Marley, I know she will be taking this hard. After I was made to join the military after high school she leaned heavily on Dad in my absence. After what happened to her on prom night of our senior year, she isn’t as strong as my other two sisters.
The hotel bar is busy, but my attention is on the glass in front of me and the thoughts that keep floating across my mind. My dad and I always had a decent relationship, even when I got in trouble with the law, he still patted me on the back for protecting my sister. He was by my side at every court hearing and again when I got on that bus bound for basic training to leave home for the first time.
It was the only time I was in serious trouble with the law, but he was always there for me, the infallible wall of support, no matter what.
Can I say the same of myself?
Fuck no.
Selfish. It’s just a whisper, but it’s been a constant song in my head since I read Gray’s text message yesterday telling me what happened.
Even my little brother, Tucker, who is in the Air Force, manages to make it home a couple of times a year.
