“Where’s Sloane?” Marley asks, her eyebrows are pulled down as she looks at me.
I can’t bring myself to tell her we don’t know, so Jax says, “She walked out of the hospital before we got back to her, no one knows where she is yet.”
“You lost her?” Anger is oozing from Kinley’s shrill voice, “How could you lose her?”
My sister’s quiet accusation runs through me like an arrow to the chest, but I know she’s just as worried as everyone else, so I bite back the string of curses I want to throw at her. Marley reaches out to her and softly grips her forearm, it’s her way of telling Kinley to be quiet.
“I knew I should have gone to get her while you guys were gone. Damn it!” My father grumbles and turns to walk to his office.
“We have to go look for her.” Lainey Rai says from the stairs as she steps down a few steps. “It’s cold outside.” Tears come to her eyes, and I see Gray’s bedroom door open andthen he walks down the hall to get her.
He takes her hand and pulls her back up to the landing, “Come on Pumpkin, it’s late, you need to be in bed.”
“But Sloane always makes sure my fuzzy blanket is on my bed when it’s cold outside. Who’s making sure she’s warm?”
Pain shoots through my chest. It’s below freezing outside, and they are saying it may snow tonight, does she have enough on to keep her warm? I didn’t realize until all this happened just how much a part of the household Sloane is to everyone here, she’s practically family already.
Gray picks her up and she wraps her arms around his shoulders to hide her face in his neck, he rubs her back and turns to take her back to her room, “Uncle Mason’s going to find her, they’ve already started looking.”
***
The heat from the hot coffee cup is soaking through my gloves, the temperature is definitely below freezing, and I feel like I deserve to sit on the porch in the cold. If Sloane is cold, I have no business being warm.
We drove a one-mile perimeter around the hospital for hours but didn’t see her anywhere. We even went to the area where the homeless tend to gather, but she wasn’t there. I know she wouldn’t put herself in danger by being in one of the alleys, so we didn’t drive through all of those.
A small niggle in my head is wondering if her brother picked her up, but there isn’t anyone left to take her to. Unless he knows something we don’t.
The nurse was right, even though I told my dad that I plan to make Sloane a part of this family, I was so wrapped up in revenge and keeping her safe that I forgot to make sure she knows I’m here for her. I basically left her there all day to wake up alone.
What kind of father could I possibly be?
When I do find her, and I will, I’m going to make sure she knows that she has a place here. That she has a family, and she can always count on me. Better or worse, she can always fucking count on me. I take a sip of my coffee that’s so strong it could wind up a bull.
“You should get some sleep.” Marley’s voice breaks through the silence of the cold night. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even hear the screen door open, she’s standing on the porch bundled up with her hoodie on her head and her long blond hair hanging out each side down her chest.
“I couldn’t sleep if I tried.” Not until I find her.
Her knee-high fuzzy socks are quiet as she walks across the porch and sits in the wicker chair next to me, her elbows on her knees, “You didn’t sleep last night, either.”
Holding my hand out to her, she takes it, and I squeeze her fingers to give her some comfort, “I’ve gone longer, it’s part of my job.”
“I’m sorry you had to have that kind of life because of me.” She’s told me she’s sorry for the past ten years.
As a kid, my dream was to work the ranch with Gray, that was always the plan. Until I walked in on that guy raping my sister. I’ve never been able to remember everything, it’s a blur, but I do know that the rage that overcame me wanted to kill the guy.
I almost did.
His dad was a big shot in Tulsa and made a big stink, demanding that I go to jail. I’d never been in trouble before, and I made good grades in school, so the judge took it easy on me. He gave me the choice to go to jail or join the Army.
I sure as fuck wasn’t going to jail for protecting my sister.
Squeezing her fingers again, I smile at her and give her the same response I always do, “Don’t ever be sorry, I would do it again.”
She looks out over the yard to her stables, the floodlightsaround the building keep it lit up through the night, “You worked so hard in FFA and 4H all those years in school… I hated that you couldn’t be here when we had to put down General.” She trails off and huffs out a deep breath, the cloud of warm air quickly dissipates in front of her face.
General was the horse I’d had since I was a kid, we grew up together. He got cancer and had to be put down about six years ago, I was overseas and couldn’t be here. My mind always goes back to the day I left for basic, I don’t know how long I stood in the stable with my forehead pressed to the white star on his forehead. The reminder makes my chest hurt.
“Hey,” I shake her hand and make her look at me, “I like my life. I’ve seen things and been to places I never dreamed I would.” I give her a big smile, “And now I’m going to be a father.” My smile fades and I look down at her hand, “When we find her.”
