It takes forever to get outside, I had to wait for the nurse’s station to clear out so I could get around to the elevators, the last thing I want is to answer a bunch of questions and see the look of pity on their faces. I don’t want to be pitied, damn it.
This damn life makes anger swell inside and I curse myself for believing in something, that I knew on the inside, wasn’t real. I believed in him.
The cold air hits me in the face like an arctic blast and I tie the belt around my sweater tighter. I’m close to the center of downtown so there are a lot of homeless people hanging around the hospital looking for warmth and any scraps they can get. Then I remember there’s a homeless shelter about a mile away from the hospital downtown, so I start to hobble in that direction.
The tears are threatening with each step, not only because I feel lonely, deserted, and ignorant, but also because everything hurts, I think the pain meds from my IV are starting to wear off. To make it worse, people are staring at the state of my face which scared even me when I looked in the mirror.
Half of my face is black and blue, and my eye is swollen shut, they probably think I’m a domestic abuse victim. My father always used to tease me that I was too passive, and I needed to be tougher, I would laugh and roll my eyes because a young girl’s dreams of her knight in shining armor are a far cry from my current reality.
With each step, I tell myself that I don’t need a knight, I just need to smarten up and look out for myself. Well, now I have to look out for my baby, too. I can do this, I won’t be sucked under by my emotions, which I think may be jacked up because of hormones.
I’ve never slept in a homeless shelter before, but as I getcloser to the front doors, there is a diverse crowd of people all around me. Some look like they are just down on their luck and don’t really pay any attention to me, and some look at my crutches like they would push me over to steal them to sell for drug money.
Squeezing my crutches tighter under my arms, I hobble to the front desk.
“Can I help you honey?” The scratchy voice comes from the lady behind the counter who looks like she’s had a rough life. The worry lines on her face are deep, her oily hair is falling out of the loose ponytail she has it pulled into, the concert t-shirt she is wearing has an 80s band on it and is full of moth holes, and the tips of her fingers on her right hand are yellow from cigarette smoke.
When she looks up at me, she has the kindest eyes, and I swear I see them get glassy with tears just from looking at me. Shame licks up my spine and I try to stand up straighter if only just to prove that I can stand on my own two feet. I don’t need anyone’s pity.
All the people milling around the room are loud and I have to lean in closer to her to talk, “I’ve never been here before, I don’t have a place to go and I’m not sure how this works.”
She stands up from her squeaky desk chair and says, “If you need a place to sleep tonight, I’ve got a bed for you, honey, you got here just in time, though, I was about to lock the doors.” Her Oklahoma accent is thick, and she looks at my crutches, “But if I were you, I would sleep with those in the bed with you. Have you had any dinner; I think we have a few plates left.”
I nod, I ate the tasteless dinner they gave me at the hospital, “If you don’t mind, I would love to get off my foot, it really hurts.”
“Of course, honey, come this way.” She walks to the end ofthe long desk which has broken and cracked laminate on top of it and holds her arm out for me to follow her.
She opens a big double door to a giant room that reminds me of a high school gym full of cots, most of them are already taken and she leads me to an empty one closer to the doors. My aching body almost sighs in relief when I sit down, and I suddenly feel exhausted.
“Okay, honey, I’m going to leave you here. Lights out is in about thirty minutes and no one is allowed in or out after that.” She points at my crutches, “Make sure you put those on the bed with you.”
I nod, “I will, thank you.”
She unfolds the blanket at the end of the cot and helps me to cover up. Staring at the ceiling, I think about what I am going to do. Sleeping here isn’t ideal, but it’s not the worst thing I can think of, I can sleep here for the next week or two while I heal and try to get another job.
I can do this.
CHAPTER THIRTY
MASON
“WHAT DOyou mean she left? She was too beat up to walk out of here on her own.” Each second that passes as I talk to the nurse makes it harder to keep my voice calm.
The badge on the pocket of her scrubs says Audra Stubbs, RN and she is wringing her hands as she looks up at me. She can’t be more than five-two and is as big around as my leg. “I’m sorry, Mr. Harlow, I checked on her and she was fine but when I went back an hour later, she was gone.”
Another woman steps up behind her, she has two badges, one says RN, and the other says Administrator, “Mr. Harlow, I’m Nurse Corbel, I know you’re upset but we have five nurses and seventy-five patients that we are divided between on this floor. If a patient wants to leave bad enough, they can find a way.”
Lifting my hat by the bill, I scrub my hands over my headbefore setting it back down and I turn in a circle as I take a deep breath, when I’m facing her again, I ask, “Why would she want to leave? That doesn’t make sense, she has to be in pain. What if she didn’t leave on her own, what if she were taken against her will?”
Nurse Corbel nods her head, “Then we need to get security involved and watch the footage.” She points to a camera in the ceiling over the nurse’s station. “The only way out is past the nurse’s station.”
Turning to Jax to ask him to call Spits, I see that he is already texting him and nodding his head to let me know he’s on it.
“Do you think that she was taken against her will? Do we need to watch the footage?” Nurse Corbel asks and reaches for the phone.
Knowing I can get more info from Spits, and quicker, than waiting for security to drag their ass to the security room, I say, “No, never mind.” I look down the hall to the room Sloane was in, “Can I take a look at her room?”
The smaller nurse starts to wring her hands again, “We already cleaned the room and got it ready for another patient.”
