“Very well, let us make it interesting. May I assume you know what ahypotheticalis?”
“Of course! I am not as stupid as I seem; and besides, Lizzy badgers us constantly about ourvocabulary,so it is best to at least know what words mean,” she replied, making it sound like Elizabeth made them scrub their own pots.
“Very well, let us use a hypothetical. Imagine a young lady. We shall hypothetically call her ‘Miss Linda.’ Now, Miss Linda hypothetically met a man clandestinely—alone. We could call this man ‘Captain Carson,’ and perhaps put their imaginary meeting place in a meadow much like the one between the live oak on the western border of Longbourn and the Jamison barn. Entertaining enough?”
All the ladies stared at him, but Lydia stared daggers and clenched her fist.
Unintimidated by a potential future tantrum, Darcy continued.
“Now, let us say that ‘Miss Linda’ wished to conceal this improper meeting with a lie. Now comes the lesson. Should she say she passed by that field on the way to Meryton and perhaps saw a redcoat but did not talk to him; or should she say she visited her good friend Miss Mason in Luger Lodge; or should she say she visited her Uncle Farrier in Town?”
Darcy sat back. Lydia turned several shades of red and white, unable to speak a word. After allowing her a minute to think, he asked, “Well, Miss Lydia, what lie do you recommend for ‘Miss Linda’?”
Lydia looked about for help, but finally said, “I imagine she could either tell the truth, or the first choice; she saw him but did not talk to him.”
“Why?”
Lydia looked frightened. “Because it is closest to the truth. She is less likely to get caught.”
“Exactly!” Darcy said, leaning forward. “That is precisely what Mr Wickham does, but he has practised spinning lies with all the appearance of truth since we were small boys. Neither you nor Miss Elizabeth should feel chagrined about misunderstanding him. The man has a talent for lying sufficient that he kept my father convinced of his good nature until his death, and my father was no green boy.”
Lydia looked half-frightened and half-confused. “So, you claim everything he said is a lie?”
“Not all, but he never speaks without looking for his own advantage. He knows to sprinkle enough truth to cover the lies. For example, my fatherdidrecommend him for a living in his will, and Ididdeny him the living. That much is true. What it leaves out is that three years before the denial,he asked meto help him study the law because he was not at all interestedin sermons. He asked and I granted three thousand pounds in exchange for signing away the rights to the living, in addition to the thousand pounds given to him outright in my father’s will. He squanderedfour thousand poundsin three years. Have you any idea how much money that is?”
Lydia shook her head. “I do not understand money.”
Darcy looked to Ellen Taylor, and as hoped, she stepped into the breach.
“Miss Lydia, I was a maid of all work in your uncle’s house. He paysverywell; the most generous employer I know. I had my own room, board, and thirty pounds per annum, which is much more than most servants get. Downstairs maids usually only get ten. Mr Darcy gave Mr Wickham the amount I would earn in a hundred years of working all day, every day, in exchange for the living.”
Lydia looked sufficiently shocked, and Darcy continued.
“Had he put that money in the four per cents,” Darcy added, “he would have drawn a hundred and sixty pounds per annum. He could have a modest house and two or three servants until the end of his life. It is less money than a living, which generates around five hundred pounds, but quite enough to live comfortably with several children. Or, he could have studied the law as he indicated he wished. He would make aphenomenalbarrister if he ever applied himself. That glib tongue could make him untold wealth,honestly earned.However, he chose to throw it all away in gambling, at which he is woefully unskilled, and seducing naïve women, like ‘Miss Linda.’”
Ellen Taylor leaned forward. “I seen the like before. They’re nothin’ but trouble.”
Anne joined the fray. “Miss Lydia, may I ask you something blunt? Do you think you are a valuable person? Are youworthyof a decent man with a good competence?”
Lydia answered with a burst of anger that Darcy and Anne were happy to see. “Of course I am!”
Not to be outdone, Anne matched her tone for tone. “Sowhywould you consider, even for a moment, throwing away your virtue on a redcoat without two farthings to rub together? That is the inevitable outcome if you follow your current course. Captain Carter is no different from Mr Wickham, and there will be dozens waiting behind him.”
Lydia fumed, though at least silently.
Jane spoke gently, “They are right, Liddy.That is what the rules of propriety are for.They seek to protect us. They cannot save us from everything in the world, and especially from our own foolishness; but if we follow the rules, they will protect us from the most common mistakes. To some extent, they protect us from ourselves, if we will only follow the sensible parts. You need not follow every dictate slavishly, but at least follow those that support self-preservation. You may laugh and have fun—we will not censure you for that—but pray, Lydia, do not put yourself and your sisters at risk for a few moments’ diversion. Any man worth knowing will respect you and follow the rules.”
Judging the lesson learned as well as it was likely to be, Darcy said, “Of course, Miss Linda’s story never happened. After all, it was entirely hypothetical, and I made the whole thing up.”
Lydia sighed heavily and beamed at him. “I thank you, sir. You have a way of speaking that makes sense. You are halfway through; shall we finish?”
Darcy regarded her with befuddlement; Anne came to his aid.
“William, she means you explained Mr Wickham, but not your own change.”
Uncertain he wished to be explicit, he prevaricated, until Anne took pity on him.
“Miss Lydia, you operate under a misconception. May I answer for my cousin?”
