I thought that meant something.
I thought I was something.
I change quickly, mechanically. The borrowed jeans fit okay. The plain black shirt covers most of the marks on my chest, though there's nothing I can do about my neck. I look like I lost a fight with a vacuum cleaner, I'd joked to Knox this morning.
You look claimed, he'd said back. Like it was a good thing. Like it meant I was his.
Except he's said that before, hasn't he? To the wolf from Riverside. To the bear who ended up in the hospital. To however many other people have cycled through that bedroom.
My phone buzzes in the pocket of my borrowed jeans—I'd grabbed it from the nightstand before coming down.
Robin:How was your night?? Details! Did sexy lion man rock your world?
I can't. Not right now. I can't do the excited best friend recap when I'm standing in a bathroom trying not to fall apart.
Another text:Toby? You alive? Should I be worried?
My fingers move before I can think about it.
Need you to pick me up.
From sexy lion man's place? Why? What happened?
Please. Just come get me.
Address. Now. I'm already in the car.
I send him the location and splash cold water on my face. The marks on my neck stand out even more against my pale skin. Purple and red, a collar of bruises that everyone will see. Everyone will know.
I thought I wanted that, this morning. Knox asked if I wanted him to claim me publicly and I'd shivered with want.
Now the marks just feel like a brand. A reminder of how stupid I am.
I can do this. I can walk back out there and pretend everything's fine until Robin arrives. I'm a librarian. I deal with difficult patrons and screaming toddlers and Margaret's passive-aggressive emails. I can manage ten minutes of small talk with lion shifters.
When I get back to the bar, Jason's there, keys already in hand, bouncing on his heels.
"Ready to go? I can—" He stops, frowning. "Why aren't you wearing Knox's shirt?"
"It was too big." The lie comes easily. "Kept slipping off my shoulder."
"But that's the whole point." Jason looks genuinely confused. "Wearing his clothes so everyone knows you're—"
"I need to look professional for work." I cut him off before he can say the word. "Can't exactly show up to the library in an oversized shirt that smells like..."
Like sex. Like Knox. Like the best night of my life that apparently meant nothing.
"I guess," Jason says slowly, still frowning. "But Knox specifically wanted you to—"
My phone buzzes. Robin.Outside.
Coming out now.
"My roommate's outside," I say, already moving toward the door. "He was already in the area running errands, so it's easier if he just takes me."
"But Knox said I should drive you."
"Tell him thank you. For everything." I'm almost at the door. Almost out. "I just—I need to go. I'll be late."
