The six of us rush for our gear. I grab a map and a compass, and Diego claps me on the shoulder, a little too hard. “Me and you, hermano. We’re gonna smoke these guys.”
I hope my smile looks convincing. “No doubt about it.”
But inside, my stomach is a tight knot. I’d rather be paired with Emilio. Or Yassir. Maybe even Kade. Anyone but Diego. He’s so in-your-face, so loud, always joking around. I don’t know if I can keep up the act with him out in the woods all day long.
Kade and Yassir head out first, moving into the trees to the west. Buck and Emilio go south. Diego and I study our coordinates, plot the first point, and head northeast.
Two checkpoints down.The sun’s climbing fast now, burning off the early morning cool. My shirt’s already soaked with sweat, sticking to my back. Diego’s navigating, holding the compass in front of him like a talisman, his brow furrowed in concentration.
“Next one is… that way,” he says, pointing toward a thick wall of green. “About two klicks. Seems to be uphill, though.”
We found the first two markers faster than I expected—small wooden stakes driven into the ground with a hole punch attached by a chain. Punch the card, move on.
The woods are quiet except for our boots crunching through the underbrush and Diego’s occasional commentary. “Gonna be nice to have a real meal tonight, huh? I’m fucking sick of these MREs. Taste like rubber.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, swatting at a mosquito on my neck.
“The only thing better than a steak would be getting my dick wet. Man, I can’t stop thinking about that shit. It’s like a damn curse.” He adjusts his pack, shifting the weight on his shoulders. “You ever do anything crazy for a girl, Adrian?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like stupid shit. Drive a hundred miles just to see her for an hour. Spend your whole paycheck on some dumb necklace she wanted. That kind of thing.”
“Sure. Guess so.”
“I remember this one chick,” he says, grinning. “Maria. Had an ass like you wouldn’t believe. Drove three hours across the island one night just to see her. Three hours back the same night. Had to work at seven the next morning. I was dead on my feet, but man, it was worth it. She let me hit it in the back of my car.Right there in the parking lot of her apartment complex.” He winks. “Good times.”
I laugh sheepishly, not knowing what to say. I don’t really have stories like that. I’ve had sex, sure, but it never felt like some epic quest. It was always just there. Something to do on a Saturday night. Not something I’d drive six hours in a night for.
“What about you?” Diego asks. “You got a girl back home?”
“Nah,” I say. “Not at the moment.”
“That’s smart, man. Don’t get tied down. We’re young, we’re in the Army. Pussy’s everywhere. No point in getting shackled to just one flavor, you know? Variety’s the spice of life.” He laughs. “And I want to taste all the spices.”
“Can’t argue with that logic.”
“You’re a quiet one, aren’t you?” he says, glancing over at me. “I mean, you talk and shit, but you keep everything close. We’ve been out here three weeks now, and I don’t know jack about you.”
My throat goes dry. Does he know? Can he see it on me? See the things I think about?
“Just focusing on the mission, man.”
“Yeah, I get that. But we’re a team, mano. A squad. We gotta be able to trust each other with our lives. That means we gotta know each other. You know?”
He’s right. Of course, he’s right. I know it. The Army drills it into you from day one. The guy next to you is your lifeline. But I can’t open up. I can’t let him see the real me because I’m scared of what that would mean.
I scramble for something to say, some story or opinion that’ll make me sound normal. I think of last night, of what I heard. Maybe if I joke about it, it’ll prove I’m one of the guys.
“Speaking of keeping things close,” I say, my heart pounding, “someone was having a little party in their sleeping bag last night.”
Diego stops walking. He turns to face me, his dark eyebrows raised. “Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah. I was half asleep, but I heard it.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. Thought it was you, honestly.” I say it with a laugh, trying to make it sound like a friendly jab, even though I’m screaming inside.
