Chapter Twenty-Six
Delilah hadn’t missedthat Hawkeye had added so many things to the cart when he thought she wasn’t looking.She didn’t know how to stop him, so she’d ignored it.Some of what he added were things she didn’t know what to do with and others were things she wanted but couldn’t justify to herself.Probably couldn’t have justified even if it were her own money she was spending.
She didn’t know how long they spent in the store but by the time Hawkeye pushed the cart out the door toward the truck, the sun was up, and the day was warming.
“I’d like to say let’s do something fun, but if we missed any of the Crows the other night, they could have figured out who hit them and come after us.I’d feel better if we were careful about going out and being seen until we’re sure they’re not around and you’re safe.I’d hate to assume they’re all gone, then have one of them take or hurt you in some way,” Hawkeye said once they were in the truck.
She watched him for a moment, trying to decide how serious he was and how worried he was.He didn’t appear worried, so she had a hard time worrying too much about it.He said he would make sure she was safe.She trusted him to do that.As he started the truck and pulled out on the road, she turned and watched out the window, taking everything in.She wondered what it would take to convince Hawkeye she knew what she wanted and that she wouldn’t regret her decision later.As long as he didn’t regret it either.That was the only exception she could foresee.If he decided she was no longer what he wanted, she didn’t know if she could deal with it again.
It didn’t take but a few minutes for the trip back to the clubhouse.Hawkeye slowed at the gate until the young man pushing it open had it open far enough for them to pull through.He rolled down his window and spoke to the kid who stood waiting for them to enter so he could close it.
“Hey, Hunter, you seen Dax around yet this morning?”
Hunter shook his head.“Last I saw him was when I headed out for my shift at 4:00 this morning.He was passed out in the front room.”
Hawkeye nodded.“That’s where he was when we left this morning.Oh.If he’s not awake yet I get to wake him.”He finished pulling through the gate and parked in the same spot where the truck had been when they got in this morning.Hawkeye turned and grinned at her.“Come on.I kind of hope he’ll still be asleep.Waking Dax up is fun.”He got out and came around to her side.She’d learned at the restaurant that he didn’t want her getting out on her own.He liked to help her in and out of the pickup.It was a small thing.Letting him help her in and out of whatever vehicle made her feel like he cared about her, if only for a little bit.
After he helped her down, she turned to open the rear door and start carrying in the things he’d bought at the store, but he stopped her.
“No need for you to carry all that in, I’ll send Dax after it,” Hawkeye said.
“I can carry my own things.It might be more than I planned but I don’t need people waiting on me.”
Hawkeye stepped in front of her taking her gently by both shoulders.“Little dove, I know you were raised to do your part, that you had to earn your keep, but that’s not true.It doesn’t have to be that way.I want to take care of you.I want to make sure you don’t have to do any heavy lifting, physically or metaphorically.I want to make sure you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from or what to do when the toilet overflows or the roof collapses.I want to be the one to take care of it all for you.”He let her go, as if he was afraid of holding her somewhere she didn’t want to be.But she did.This was exactly where she wanted to be.
She frowned and tilted her head to one side as she watched him.“But you won’t let me decide you’re the one I want.You keep telling me that you’re not a good guy.”She laid a hand against his chest and stepped closer, closing the distance between them.“I think you think you’re not a good man, but you don’t know how wrong you are.You might have blood on your hands, you might have killed, but I’d bet money that you’ve never hurt an innocent.You did what you had to in order to keep someone safe, or to help someone like me, someone who needed more than they ever knew.”She went up on her toes, placed a peck of a kiss on his cheek then she ducked around him and headed inside.
