“No,” I cry out softly. “You don’t get to touch me. Not after what you did.”
His face twists, anguish stark in every line. “After what I did?”
“Yes. You.”
“Dove, I forgive you. I…you were a kid and?—”
A laugh breaks out of me. At first, it’s just a sharp breath, then it swells, spilling into something jagged, nearly hysterical.
What did my therapist say?Hysterical is historical.
“You forgive me?” The laughter vanishes as fast as it flared. “Well, good for you. But I don’t forgive. I willneverforgive you. And you know what? The universe won’t forgive you for what you did.” I turn to walk to thedoor of the greenhouse and stop for a moment, and over my shoulder, I hold his gaze. “When you find out the truth, Cade, and your heart tears you apart, I will watch with satisfaction. I will give you no comfort…and we will still not be even.”
With that, I return toward the glow of the party, back into the crowd, leaving Cade alone in the lush greenhouse with my truth, which he doesn’t believe.
CHAPTER 17
cade
It’s been a week since Mav’s barbecue, a week since that kiss.
I haven’t seen Sarah since.
Even Evie says she hasn’t been around the clinic when she’s with Joy. Word is Dr. K’s been working out at Seven Horns two towns over.
I’m having trouble sleeping. I keep hearing what she said.
“You killed me.”
“I almost killed myself.”
“I took pills.”
And then that final jab.
“When you find out the truth, Cade, and your heart tears you apart, I will watch with satisfaction. I will give you no comfort.”
Her words are a brand burned deep. I can’tshake them.
In my heart, I know she didn’t lie, but in my head, I don’t know if I’ve got the guts to face what that means.
No matter how fucked up my nights, by dawn, I’m up and moving. Work doesn’t wait for a man to get his head on straight.
Ranching’s like that. Cows don’t give a damn if your heart’s in pieces.
I check on Evie, still curled up in bed, hair a tumble across her pillow. Just looking at her makes me lighter. Happier.
Bandit, the son of a bitch, is snoring softly next to her.
I shake my head at that.
Bandit now lives with us, or rather, he lives with Evie. I told her that he should sleep in his own bed; that has done me no good. As soon as I leave her room at night, he gets in next to her. She loves the mutt, and truth be told, he’s become a favorite of Tillie’s as well.
He and I are still getting to know each other.
In the kitchen, Tillie’s already packing Evie’s lunchbox.
“That dog bed you got him was a waste of money,” I tell her.
