Kira turned, so suddenly that it made him flinch. She didn’t seem to notice his involuntary action, instead staring at him so hard it nearly made her look like she was dissociating. Joshua wanted to reach out, to take hold of her and show her exactly what he meant. They were bound, the two of them, no matter how difficult it might be to see it sometimes.
She let out a shuddering breath. “Lust isn’t a relationship, Joshua. And that’s all it was. It was a sexual release, because whatever attractions were there years ago are still here now. But lust isn’t enough.”
“And you’re so certain that all we have between us is lust?” Joshua asked, agitated.
“Both times we had sex, you couldn’t even look me in the eye afterward.” Kira’s voice broke over the last word, but sherallied herself and drew up. “It’s obvious that you regret it as soon as we’re done. And even if we could make a relationship out of lust and nothing more… the way you act afterward makes it obvious that you don’t really want me. And I’m not going to be nothing more than a sexual release.”
Joshua let out a soft breath, her admission like a physical blow. “That’s not…”
He trailed off because he didn’t know what to say. He had pulled away from her and didn’t look her in the eye after they’d had sex. She thought it was because of her—that it was another form of rejection—but that wasn’t the case at all! He opened his mouth to tell her that again, but she held up a hand, shaking her head.
“It’s fine. I know about your reputation. You’ve never enjoyed being tied down, and so being bound to me of all people must be grating.”
“It’s not.” Joshua stepped forward, his heart pounding in his ears. “I don’t… It’s not because of you, Kira. Last time… I was stupid. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get so swept up in desire that I put you at risk!”
Kira frowned. “At risk?”
“Of getting pregnant! If something happened and it was my fault—” He gripped his hair, tugging it as he stared up at the ceiling.
“What are you talking about? Is it about not wanting to have biological children? Why?” She stepped forward and grabbed his wrists. “Tell me what’s going on here, Joshua. How am I supposed to understand this? Why would you decide you don’t want children with me just because you’re adopted?”
Joshua lowered his hands. He grasped hers, his chest heaving. All the secrets that had swelled between them were at the bursting point. He needed to tell her. Now was the best time.
“Come with me,” he rasped out. “I have something to show you.”
Chapter 17 - Kira
“I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to go to bed,” Kira complained, but let Joshua pull her back down the stairs. A strange energy hummed from him, highlighting his frustration and what she was certain was anxiety. But why would he be anxious? All he gave her was one question after another.
But if this was his way of trying to explain, then sure. She should run off into the night and let him take her wherever he was taking her. She tried to breathe evenly in and out as he took her to the car.
“Where are we going?”
“I can’t tell you.” He pulled out his phone as she slid into the car. He typed something into it, but he was angled so that Kira could only see the glow of the screen against his face.
Silently, he slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. They drove out of the town limits, and she swallowed.
“We know the demon is coming after me. Is it safe to leave the town?” she asked anxiously.
Joshua let out a shaky breath. “It takes time for the demon to track you down, and I’m with you. I won’t let it hurt you.”
“I just wish I knew why it was coming after me,” she murmured.
His hands tightened on the wheel. “It’s because you’re a witch and you’re married to me. It wants to kill you for the same reason the Elders wanted you to marry me. Because it thinks we can make powerful children.”
“It could kill you, and we wouldn’t have children.”
“But you could have children with someone else. We’re all shifters, Kira, but there are a few witches. Few women who can pass magic down to the next generation. Kill the mothers, you kill the future generations.” Joshua’s voice lowered. “Why do you think Gwen never leaves town? If she did, I’m sure the demon would go after her, too.”
Kira didn’t have an answer to that. It made sense, as much as she hated it. The witches were higher targets, since their magic could lock away the demons again.
He turned onto a bumpy gravel road. As the darkness fell around them, the forest became shrouded in shadow. Kira squinted her eyes as she tried to catch sight of any landmarks, but all she saw was the green foliage, dull and ominous in the headlights.
“Wait,” she cried when she saw a marking stone. “Wait! That was a territory marker.”
“Yes. I texted Bael, we have permission to come here,” Joshua answered, his voice tense.
“Come where? What could you possibly need to show me in Bael’s territory?” Kira demanded. Her heart was beating so fast she pressed her hand to her chest, feeling it thud against her palm. She’d never been in Bael’s territory before. Why was he bringing her here?
