“I had a protein bar,” I lie. The truth is, I’ve been too nervous all day to eat. And now … well, I don’t even know what I feel. All I know is that I can’t eat.
Theo nods.
“If you want to stop and get yourself something, though—” I start.
“I can eat at home,” he says quickly.
Silence overtakes the cab again. I find myself lost in the passing greenery as the hour-long drive scoots by. When we reach Cedar Ridge, I catch sight of the courthouse where we got married, Rick’s bar where we kissed under the lights, the grocery store where we bought our wedding cake.
As Theo turns down his road, I can feel him glance my way. “Cora?” His voice is softer than usual, hesitant, confused. When I don’t immediately reply, he continues, “You’re crying.”
I instinctively reach up, feeling a familiar dampness on my cheeks. I hastily wipe it away in surprise. But it’s as if my realization only encourages the tears more, because they come in earnest now.
“Cora,” Theo says again—it’s a question, a comfort, a plea.
I shake my head, turning away to desperately hide my tears, regardless of how futile it is. They’re pouring down my cheeks now, and I’m gasping for air as the neighborhood blurs past us.
Theo pulls into his driveway, immediately parking the car and turning to me. “What’s wrong?” he demands.
But I can’t talk to him now. I can’t. I don’t even know what’s going on inside of me. So I simply open the car door and jump out.
But Theo’s faster, and he rounds the front of the car, standing between me and the house. “What happened?” he asks, reaching for me. “Did I—did I do something?” he stammers.
But I’m sidestepping him, still relentlessly wiping tears from my cheeks as I storm toward the front door.
Theo trails after me, slamming the door behind us and rushing after me up the stairs. “Talk to me, Cora,” he begs, and at the top of the stairs, he finally catches me, grabbing my arm andwhirling me around. “Talk to me,” he repeats, his eyes desperate. “Please.”
Looking up at him, his blue eyes laced with concern, only makes it worse, and the tears fall harder.
“Jesus, Cora,” Theo murmurs, his hands moving to cup my face, his thumb brushing tears from my eyes. “Tell me what I did. How I can fix it. How I can make it right.” When I don’t immediately reply, he goes on. “I’m sorry.” He’s shaking his head, and then, hesitantly, he presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “Whatever it is, I’m sorry,” he breathes against my skin.
A sob bubbles up my throat, and I step back, breaking our contact. And Theo looks … fuck, Theo looks so devastated, my heart breaks into a million pieces. “It’s not you,” I cry, the words barely audible.
He shakes his head in confusion, opening his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.
“I’m so scared, Theo,” I whisper, and if it’s possible, he somehow looks even more broken than before.
“Of what?” he asks quietly. “Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. If this was too much, a bad idea, if I made you uncomfortable, I … I’ll leave the ranch, Cora.”
His comment stops me in my tracks, shocks me enough to stop the flow of tears. “What?” I squeak.
“I won’t take your home away from you,” he says simply. “If this marriage ruined our friendship, scared you, then I’ll leave.”
Suddenly I can’t breathe. I try to suck in a breath, but it’s simply not enough. “No,” I say. “No, no, you can’t do that.”
His eyebrows knit together in confusion.
“Theo,” my voice cracks, “I’m not scared ofyou, I’m …” I wrap my arms around my body as if that will somehow quell the emotions within me. “I’m scared because Iloveyou.” The words tumble out of me, so true that I cry harder.
For a long moment, Theo simply stares at me blankly. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then says, “What?”
The tears are hot and fast, and there’s no stopping them. “I’m scared because this—all of this—is too good to be true.” My voice breaks. “Just like having a dad who loves me, a mom who isn’t sick, and a family who I love.” I can’t even see now through the tears, but it doesn’t matter because my hands move to my face, and I collapse in on myself, still standing, but hunched. I’m ugly crying now—there’s no hiding it. But there’s no quelling it either.
I’m barely aware of Theo stepping closer, and then his hands are on my wrists, gently pulling them away from my face. I resist at first, sure that my eyes are puffy and red and utterly embarrassing, but he eventually wins out.
“Too good as in what?” he asks gently. “That I’d leave?”
I can’t speak anymore, so I simply nod. “Eventually,” I whisper.
