Because what I’d seen was fear.Fear.I’d scared Cora, and for that, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.
So I’ve been giving her space. Other than the car rides to and from work, we don’t interact. And it’s been the worst three days of my life.
Only today, that will have to change. Because this afternoon is our interview.
“You nervous, Theo?” Cruz asks from down the fenceline, far enough away to raise his voice but not far enough to have to yell. I can sense the apprehension. He knows something’s up with me but doesn’t want to directly call it out.
I force a smile and a shrug. “Nah, we’ll be good.”
Cruz answers with a short nod.
Graham hefts a few posts from the truck, balancing them on his shoulder and carrying them over. He deposits them on the ground and then snorts. “Can’t believe you guys are all settled down and shit,” he mutters.
I ignore him, but Cruz laughs. “Someday you’ll be less interested in the whole ‘new woman every night’ lifestyle,” he chides.
Graham pulls a face. “Yeah, and you’ll have my permission to shoot me.”
Graham’s always been a playboy. I’m surprised he hasn’t already dated every eligible lady in Cedar Ridge. I’d wonder what women see in him, but it’s a bit obvious. Hot—and I mean Magic-Mike-hot—cowboy. I like to think that I’ve got muscles, but compared to Graham … well, let’s just not compare.
“I almost did that time you tried to take Addison on a ‘hike,’” Cruz snaps back, only a tad bit playful.
Graham holds up his hands in defense. “Okay, you two weren’t dating then, and I had no idea you were interested.”
Cruz rolls his eyes and violently shoves a stake into one of the holes I’ve just dug. “You gonna back me up here, Theo?” he asks after a beat. I get the impression he’s just trying to get me to talk and doesn’t actually care much about changing Graham’s mind.
I appreciate his subtle attempts to try to cheer me up despite not knowing what’s going on. I take a deep breath. “You just gotta meet the right woman, Graham,” I say truthfully. “You’ll see.” I mean for the words to come out reassuring, inspiring, but they kinda fall flat.
“Jesus, don’t look so thrilled about it,” Graham snorts.
Cruz shoots him a glare, but I force out a chuckle. “It’s not about—I’m just … tired. It’s been a long week.”
“A long week ofmarriage?” Graham raises an eyebrow, still trying to prove his point.
And as much as I hate that smug look on his face, I’ve never been a very good liar. I suppose that’s what got me in this mess to begin with. “Yeah, you could say that,” I answer.
Graham huffs in victory. Cruz looks a little like he wants to murder him, but he kinda always has that expression around Graham. And when his gaze lands on me, it switches to something else—something that looks a bit too close to pity. I know if Graham weren’t here, he’d dig in, ask what’s really going on.
For possibly the first time ever, I’m relieved for Graham’s presence.
“Yeah, I’m staying as far away from relationships and marriage as possible,” Graham declares, heading back to the truck for more posts.
Neither Cruz nor I answer him, although I can feel Cruz’s gaze on me. I simply continue pulling up broken posts and re-digging the holes. My mind keeps wandering to what Graham said—his whole position on everything.
Should I have not married Cora?
Part of me screams yes. That this whole thing would have been avoided. But a much deeper part of me disagrees. Because without this marriage, Cora would be back in Canada, leaving the only home she’s known since her mother passed away. I couldn’t let that happen, and I’m glad that I didn’t.
I grit my teeth as I grab another pole and begin twisting it out of the ground.
And I’m going through with my promise. This marriage is going to get Cora her green card. She’s going to stay in the US, become a permanent resident, stay on this ranch, with her friends who’ve become her family. And if she can’t stand to be around me … then I’ll leave.
The thought hurts my heart, takes some of the air from my lungs, but I know immediately that I’d do it for her. And to be quite honest, it might be more painful to stay.
Chapter twenty-two
Cora
TheridetoHelenais long and awkward. Theo is kind, as usual, which honestly only makes it worse. He smiles gently at me when we meet up at his truck, he asks how my day has been. He insists I play the music I like on the radio, and he suggests stopping for Thai on the way home—my favorite. But between those gestures where there normally would have been chatter and banter, there’s now just a heavy silence.
