But he tried to resist the impulse to make apologies and promises. What would the future be like if Finnvid could manipulate Theos so easily? So he said, “No,” but then he added, “not this time.”
“You have before?” Finnvid asked. The vulnerability was gone, replaced by something almost ferocious.
“Many times. Once, when we were cadets, we spent a festival night together. Two women from the city, and both of us. It was—”
Finnvid tightened his grip on Theos’s hair. “Isthatwhat you think I wanted to hear?”
“If I was in your position, the only thing I’d want to hear would be slurping and maybe a little moaning. So I don’t feel like I can really guess what you want.”
Finnvid was quiet for long enough that Theos started to doubt his approach to this conversation. Finally, the tight fingers in Theos’s hair relaxed. Instead of going back to his original task, he skimmed up Finnvid’s body and looked him in the eye.
“I didn’t fuck him. I have no plans to fuck him.” But he needed to say a little more than that. “I’ve been invited to the city, next week. Thea’s already got a daughter with me, and she’d like to try for another child. It’s been approved by the temple—it would be rude for me to refuse.”
“I don’t care about the women,” Finnvid said. “You want to be a father. You only spend one night with them. I can accept that. But . . . other men . . . I know that’s the Torian way. I know it doesn’t mean anything to you. It’s just for fun; I understand. I’veseenit, far too many times. I know you like it. I just—”
“Finnvid,” Theos said in exasperation. “It’ssex. Of course I like it. You like it too, now that you’re past all your silliness.” He brushed the fine blond hair back from Finnvid’s forehead and softened his tone. “I’ve had sex with lots of people. But I don’t—I don’ttalkto them, not like I talk to you. I certainly don’tlistento them. I don’t think about their ideas, and wonder if I could find ways to combine their ideas with mine. I don’t . . .” Theos stopped. What were the words that would make this better? He’d say them, as long as he couldmeanthem. “Whatdoyou want to hear?”
Finnvid’s smile was too sad for Theos to look at for long. “I’m not actually sure,” he said, and he ran his hands over the bracelet around his wrist.
Theos reached for his own wrist, and tugged off the first band that came under his fingers. He glanced down at it and nodded. “This came from my father before he died. I was still young, but he was a great warrior, and I wanted to be just like him.” He stretched down and wrapped the metal band onto Finnvid’s arm, bending the almost-closed circle tighter to make it secure on Finnvid’s thinner body. He looked at it there for a moment, then reached back to his own arm. Another random selection, and he untwisted the clasp of the braided strands. “From Anaya, when she bore my first child. Damios . . . you’ve met him. It’s her hair, blended with mine.” He found a spot for it on Finnvid’s other wrist, then reached for another.
“Stop,” Finnvid said, catching Theos’s hands. “Your wrists will be naked! What sort of Torian will you be then?” He was laughing, but his eyes were wet.
Theos leaned closer to him. “What sort of Torian do you want me to be?”
“I want you to be mine. That’s all.MyTorian.”
“I am.”
“But you’re notjustmine.”
Theos sighed. “You want an Elkati relationship? Even though I don’t think they make sense in Elkat, where everyoneexpectscouples to behave like that? You think we’d do well to behave that wayhere?” He frowned. “You want me to change to be exactly who you want me to be?”
Finnvid didn’t answer.
Theos nodded slowly. “Give me a bracelet back.”
“What?” Finnvid looked startled, almost afraid, and each of his hands closed protectively around the opposite wrist.
“Pick one. Tell me why it’s important to you, and give it to me.”
Finnvid hesitated, but he finally undid the hair bracelet and tentatively refastened it on Theos’s wrist. “You got this from a woman named Anaya when she gave birth to Damios. I liked having it because it made me feel like part of your family. I know that family isn’t the same here as it is in Elkat, but it’s stillsomething, and I liked having the connection to it.”
Theos gave himself a moment to absorb the words, then reached down and undid a new bracelet from his wrist. It was made of metal beads, tarnished by sweat and weather and wear. “Andros gave this to me when I became Sacrati. Three months later I found its match and gave it to him when he joined the brotherhood.” He fastened it around Finnvid’s wrist. “Andros is my friend. My good friend. But the way I feel about you is . . . It’s different. It’s . . .” He tried, but he didn’t have the words. “It’s more, I think. I want to fight beside Andros, but I want to fight in front of you, to keep you safe.”
Finnvid was relaxing now, and Theos eased up onto the narrow mattress, stretching out alongside Finnvid’s body. Neither of them was hard anymore, but it wouldn’t take long to remedy that situation. Sex was easy; it was everything else that seemed to take a lot of work.
Finnvid rolled onto his side and snuggled back, and for a moment it seemed like he was planning to just go to sleep. Theos thought about sitting up and pulling the blankets over them, but then Finnvid squirmed a little more, working his ass into Theos’s groin.
Theos kissed the side of Finnvid’s neck and savored the way Finnvid leaned his head to provide more room for Theos’s attentions. “I’ll buy you a bracelet of your own,” he whispered. “One for . . . forus.”
“I’ll buy you one too,” Finnvid murmured. “They could match.” Then he slumped a little. “But . . . that’s an Elkati tradition. I shouldn’t trick you into wearing it when you don’t really know what it means.”
“What tradition? Elkati exchange bracelets?” Theos had seen no evidence of that, but it was almost as intriguing as the story about the hunting falcons.
“Not bracelets. Rings.”
“Rings? For your fingers? But rings are so small! And how many could you fit onto your hands without making it hard to grip things?” Theos tugged Finnvid’s hand up for inspection. Surely he would have noticed . . . “You don’t wear rings.”
