“Bunny onesie,” Dinah said.
Liam stared at her, and she jabbed her finger at the pad of paper. “Bunny onesie. Margie Kane. Write it down.”
He did as he was told, then looked up. She grinned at him. “Bought myselfa little time to think. Pretty clever, huh?”
“Brilliant.”
“And now you get the benefit.” She reached for another gift. “Do you think shiny things are always empty? I was going to go with, ‘Why do you think you’re a shiny thing’ but I decided against it. Because, honestly, yeah, you’re pretty damn shiny. You’re good-looking and successful and funny and sweet. You’re shiny, sure.” She looked atthe gift she was holding. “If I controlled the universe, this present would be deeply significant. It would be something shiny, obviously… a baby rattle? One of those silver ones from Tiffany’s or something? And then—I don’t know. I’d expand things out from there.” She squeezed the present and shook her head. “But it’s a onesie. Guaranteed. And I don’t think anyone’s buying me shiny onesies. So—you’rea shiny thing. Fine. But that doesn’t mean you’re empty.”
“For sure?”
“For sure,” she said firmly. “I don’t know you too well, but I know Ben and Seth and Calvin, and they were close to you for a long time. I’m not saying you didn’t screw up back then, but I don’t think one screwup is enough to neutralize all the affection they had for you for so long. I trust their judgment—Seth had the excellenttaste to fall forme, for example—so I know there must be something to you. Something more than the shiny surface.”
And it was happening again. The tears, not yet falling but threatening, and all because this woman, this virtual stranger, was willing to believe he wasn’t totally useless. Awards and publicity and kudos from all directions had left him dry-eyed and calm, but this? Apparently thiswas too much for his tender emotions to handle.
Dinah was kind enough to turn her attention to the gift for a moment, unwrapping a polka-dotted onesie with a matching hat, and Liam dutifully recorded the details. When he looked up from the page, Dinah was squinting at him.
“Is there something we could do with polka dots?” she asked.
“Something we coulddo?”
“As an analogy. Your soap bubblesgot me inspired.” Oh, she was still on that track. He tried to catch up to her, but she was racing ahead. “Something about the dots all being different colors but still coordinating nicely—that’s true, and it’d be a good analogy forsomelife issue, I’m sure, but I can’t think of a way to really fit it to the current conversation. Maybe something about how the onesie is cute but also useful? Andsoft? Oh, and this is agoodonesie, because the soft is on the right side! Sometimes there’ll be outfits that are super-soft on the outside, the part adults touch, but then weirdly scratchy on the inside, the part that’s right against the baby’s skin. Those suck. They’re for looks only. But good clothes, like this, are soft on the inside, pretty on the outside….” She stopped, scrunched up hernose, and shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s not an all-time classic, I admit. But for now—you’re a good onesie, Liam. Pretty on the outside and warm and soft on the inside. Sound okay?”
“You’re very kind. A little strange, and you’re almost certainly spending too much time with Calvin, but—kind.”
She grinned and took a sip of her punch. “I spend a lot of time with Ben too. Seth and I—possiblymostly me, but Seth didn’t think it was a bad idea—we kinda prodded him to give Kevin a call and see if there was something left in that relationship.”
Ridiculous that it felt like a betrayal. “So why am I here? It’s kind of you to host me, but if you think Ben should be with Kevin—”
“Oh, I don’t think he should be with Kevin.”
“What? Didn’t you just say—”
“I said we prodded him tocallKevin,to see if there was something left. I didn’t say I hoped therewassomething left. We just thought—well. Partly we just thought it would be interesting to see what happened—so you’re right, we probablyarespending too much time with Uncle Calvin—but mostly we just thought Ben should be doingsomething. He wants to be in a relationship, but they never seem to last, and we thought he was just gettingkind of tired of trying, like maybe he was going to give up. So—Kevin. Better than nothing?”
“He seems like a decent guy.” More or less.
“Absolutely. If he’d been a total jerk, we wouldn’t have suggested Ben give him another try.”
“And it seems to be going well.” Liam reached for a wrapped gift, trying to disguise how much he was hoping to be contradicted.
“Seems like they’re right back wherethey used to be.” Dinah accepted the gift from him, peered at the card, and said, “Nipple cream. Guaranteed.”
“Pardon?”
“Aunt Maggie is obsessed with my nipples. I guess hers were really a problem when she was nursing, and she’s made it her life mission to ensure that nobody else suffers like she did.”
“That’s noble.”
“But kinda weird.” Dinah slipped the wrapping paper loose, peered at thegift, and nodded. “Write it down. Aunt Maggie. Nipple cream.”
“Do you think—” Liam stopped. He’d been about to ask whether Dinah and Seth would be interested in seeing more of him. He’d have found a better way to phrase it, he hoped, one that didn’t make it sound like discussion of Dinah’s nipples had led him to propose a threesome. But then he’d realized it wouldn’t work.
Seth was a good oldfriend. Dinah was lovely. There was something undeniably positive about being around them, being around Calvin, being in North Falls itself. But would Liam actually be able to enjoy any of it if he knew he could turn around at any second and see Ben and Kevin together? Ben and anyone, really. Anyone who wasn’t Liam.
“Do you think I’m totally irrational?” he asked instead of his original question.“Am I ‘in crisis’ or some other psychobabble?”
“What do you think?” There was just enough of a twinkle in her eye to let him know she was aware of the therapist cliché in her question.
