“Calvin called me. Thanked me for my nursing care, so I think he must have been pretty delirious while he was sick. But whatever, he sounds back to normal and I guess he’s having a baby shower for Seth and his wife tomorrow? He invited me to come. I said I didn’t think it would be a good idea since you and I aren’t—well,I think I said something lame, like that we aren’t on great terms or something like that. Anyway, he said he was sure you’d be fine with it. But Calvin isn’t known for his tight relationship with either reality or the truth, so I thought I should give you a call and make sure. You know, because of the ‘wouldn’t be seeing each other’ thing.”
Uncle Calvin. Was it possible for the man to be Ben’ssaviorandhis nemesis? “Why would you want to drive all the way from the city just for some baby shower?”
Liam was still polite but several degrees cooler. “I don’t think my motivations are actually any of your business, are they? I mean, unless they involve you, which they don’t.”
“But you’re asking my permission to attend?”
“’Permission’ is probably a little strong. But I don’t want youto throw a scene at Seth’s big day, so I thought I’d better check in. If you’re not going to be able to control yourself—I don’t know what the baby-shower equivalent of ramming a cop car would be, maybe passing out and falling on the cake or something—then I guess I’ll have to stay away. But if youcancontrol yourself? If you’ve moved on with your new-old guy and are totally over me in everyway? Then there shouldn’t be a problem with me coming to the party. Right?”
Ben found himself suddenly yearning for Kevin’s little tidbits of cattiness. So much more subtle, so much easier to ignore. “What’s Seth’s wife’s name, Liam? What about his current kid? Name would be nice, but do you even know gender? Age? Are you honestly pretending you give a shit about Seth? Really?”
“We spent sometime together at the building site, remember? And Seth and I were friends before either of us knew who the hell the geeky little kid with all the books even was. I let that friendship get messed up—let my shit with you affect how he and I got along—but that was a mistake. I’d like to see what I can do about fixing it. Although, again, none of that is any of your damn business.”
“You seriouslydon’t think you’re taking this stroll down memory lane a little too far? Your parents are getting divorced. I guess you’re finding that traumatic. But you know you can’t actually transport yourself into the past, right? You can’t travel back to a magical, simple time when everyone’s parents still—”
“What are you even talking about? My parents? I was—surprised, I think. That’s the best word. Itshook me up a little, for, like, four hours, and then I was over it. None of this—My parents? Seriously? How the hell are you connecting this to my parents?”
“Four hours? You came up here the day of Terry’s funeral, you were upset at the graveyard, you hung around for days, came back for the build, you were thinking about them the night we—you know. Sunday night. How is that four hours?”
Therewas a pause before Liam said, “I only found out about my parents on Sunday. The earlier stuff—why did you think my parents were involved?”
Ben fought to bring order to his thoughts. “I—well, whyelsewould you have been up here?” Then he remembered Liam’s words on that first day.You never saw me any of the other times. How many other times had there been? And why had Liam made the trip, ever?
“Hey, Ben?” Liam asked, his voice soft. It stayed gentle—deceptivelygentle—as he said, “You’re not interested in me, remember? We wrapped things up, left it all on a positive note. Right?”
Ben wanted to rage, to scream, to hurl insults or challenges or demands. But he was an adult now. He was mature and had self-control. At the very least he wouldn’t let Liam’s little trap do its job. He swallowedhard, then said, “You’re right. This is none of my business. And it’s none of my business if you want to go to Seth’s baby shower. His wife’s name is Dinah and their daughter is Tamara. They’re both pretty wonderful. I think you’ll really like them.”
And those final few words were enough to bring him back to a calmer place, at least temporarily. “Thanks for calling to check on this—I guess Iwouldn’t have had the right to object even if I’d wanted to, but I appreciate the chance to avoid the surprise. I think the cake would have been safe, but you can never be sure.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
And that was all.
Or at least it should have been. But instead of settling down to get some grading done as he’d been planning, Ben changed into running clothes and set out alongthe river. He tried to find peace in the flowing of the water, the singing of the birds. He gave up on that and tried to fall into the rhythm of his strides, the slap of his footfalls along the path. He had no thoughts, no emotions. He was a machine. A running machine, working effectively, efficiently, mindlessly.
Liam? There was no Liam. There was only the pounding of his feet, and of his heart.The burning in his legs, the sweat soaking his shirt. He was physical, not mental. He was at peace.
At least temporarily.
