“Is it, though? Is itreallyannoying?”
“Really, really annoying.”
“Hey,” Seth said, emerging from the house with two beers, a sippy cup, and a bag of potato chips. “Don’t call my wife annoying. That’smyjob.”
“Insulting your wife is your job, or being annoying is your job?” Ben accepted the beer he was offered and shifted so he could raise it to his lips without disturbing the child on his lap.
“Both. I’m multitasking, being annoyingandinsulting.” Seth waitedpatiently for Tamara to reach for her drink, then found his own spot on the wicker love seat next to Dinah. He smiled at her and leaned over to press a quick kiss to her belly.
It was all pretty perfect. And maybe Dinah was right, maybe Ben should be thinking more seriously about creating his own version of this for himself. Well, his partner wouldn’t have a pregnant belly to kiss, but the generalsense of domestic tranquility? That could be replicated.
“I don’t need a partner of my own,” he tried, “because I have you guys.”
“We aren’t going to put out at the end of the night,” Dinah said. Then she waggled her eyebrows at Seth. “At least, not for you.”
Yeah, okay, sex was definitely a valuable aspect of being in a relationship. And while Dinah and Seth were good about not making himfeel like a third wheel, having his own partner, his own teammate—yeah, that was appealing too. “If I was seriously dating someone I’d have less time to deal with your raspberry apocalypse. You’d miss me.”
“I was thinking of it more as having another soldier to help fight the good fight,” Seth said.
“What, you’re part of this too? I thought it was just your wife, but—you’re matchmaking as well?”
“I liked Kevin.”
“Of course you did. Everyone liked him. He’s very likable.”
“But not loveable?” Dinah asked.
“I—” Ben was stymied. Had he loved Kevin? In a way, sure. Just not—damn it. Not the same way he’d loved Liam. But look howthathad turned out.Look what happened when you were irrationally, unrealistically in love with someone.“You’re both going to feel pretty awful if you push meinto getting in touch with him and he turns me down. Pretty darn awful.”
“Nah, I think we’ll feel okay.” Seth smiled complacently.
“But that’s what you think I should do?” It was one more way Ben was being pathetic, really. All the crap, all the anxiety and stupidity with Liam hadn’t been enough; now he was begging his friends to run his love life for him. “I should call him? Kevin?”
Seth andDinah exchanged a look, and damn it,thatwas another great thing about being in a relationship, that wordless communication. “We can’t make that decision for you,” Dinah said carefully. “But—if you want to be in a couple, and if you don’t have anyone better in mind—maybe? Or something else. Maybe you don’t actually want to be in a couple at all, and if that’s the case, great, never mind any ofthis, carry on as you are. But if youdowant to be in a couple, then, well, you need to find someone else to couple up with. If not Kevin, then…?”
Yeah. If not Kevin, then what? Internet dating? Grindr was one thing, but an actual relationship? Much trickier. What were the chances of finding anyone better than Kevin, compared to the chances of Kevin finding someone better and taking himselfoff the market while Ben was fucking around?
There was the fantasy world, and there was reality. Ben needed to live in reality. He needed to protect himself, control himself, use his head. He needed to set a realistic goal and then find a reasonable strategy that would give him a good chance of meeting that goal.
He needed to call Kevin. And it was too damn bad if the butterflies in his stomachdidn’t give even a single wing flap in response to the idea.
