“No.” But Ben really tried not to lie to his friends so he added, “It might havefeltimportant.But it wasn’t.”
“You’re sure?”
“I guess so. I mean—he’s gone. We cleared the air, which was good, and he’s gone back to the city. Which is also good. He’s got a life there.”
“A career,” she said with a sage nod. “And you know about all that because you’ve googled him a bunch of times over the years, right? You probably have an alert set up for any mention of his name.”
“Lots of people Google-stalktheir exes every now and then.”
“Yup,” she agreed. “And lots of people eventually run into those exes unexpectedly and go through a bit of a—what? Not a crisis, but a period of questioning. They review their lives, play the what-if game, maybe feel a little wistful about all the lives they could have lived if they’d made different choices. Totally normal.”
“Really? You do this too?”
“Of coursenot.” She pitched her voice a little louder, giving it enough volume to be sure it would carry through the open bathroom window at the far end of the patio. “Once I met Seth I forgot all other men. How could I ever expect anyone else to compare to his stunning virility?”
“That’s right!” Seth called from inside.
In a quieter voice Dinah said, “I only ever dated two other guys, in any seriousway. One of them’s in the Navy, and I wouldnotbe a good Navy wife. He’s still cute, though, especially in his little uniform.”
“The other?”
“He lives down in Atlanta, works for some kind of auto supply place. He has a wife—but I’m way prettier than her.”
“You win.”
“Hell yeah. Or maybe Seth wins. I’m not sure. But, whatever—the point is, it’s fun to look back at old flames. And to talk aboutthat with your friends.”
Fun. It wasn’t quite how Ben would have described the last few days. “There isn’t really that much to say.”
“We don’t have to limit ourselves to Liam. You’ve datedlotsof guys. I mean, even if we leave Kevin out of it, there must be guys you’ve wondered about. If you hadn’t beenquiteso resistant to love’s siren song—”
“Wait. Why are we leaving Kevin out if it?”
“Oh. I just thought—you know. Maybe you wouldn’t be quite ready to include him in a silly little game.”
“Kevin? No, we can play silly games with Kevin. That’s fine.”
“It’s not too soon?”
“Kevin didn’t dump me, you know. We broke up—it was mutual. Really, it was more me than him.Idumpedhim, really.”
“Okay, so—let’s play the game. What do you think would have happened if youhadn’tdumpedhim?”
“I don’t know. I guess… I mean, I’m sure we’d still be together, because there was no wayhewas going to dumpme.No way.”
“Would you be engaged by now?”
Engaged. To Kevin. Sure, it had been Kevin’s proposal that had spurred the breakup, so really the only way to have not broken up would have been to get engaged. But—
“Or married, even,” Dinah continued. “It’s been almost a year, right?If you’d gotten engaged last summer, you might be married by now. Oooh, a spring wedding, lots of pastels—could Tamara have been your flower girl? Seth would have to be the best man, I guess. Sorry about that, but I think it would have been pretty unavoidable. You wouldn’t want a church wedding, would you? You’re not very church-y. Maybe something in Calvin’s backyard? He’s got lots of space,and he’d love something like that.”
Married. A wedding. Ben, a married man.
Settled down, stable. Kevin was a second-grade teacher in a town about thirty miles down the highway, so maybe they’d have found a house somewhere in the country between their jobs. Kevin had a dog—a good dog, Bob, a fantastic fluffball of shaggy cross-bred love—and maybe they’d have gotten a cat too. “Bob could havebeen the ring bearer,” Ben said. “We could have rigged something up around his neck. And maybe we’d have gotten the cat involved somehow, although probably not. Cats probably don’t like weddings.”
“What cat?”
“Imaginary cat.”
