Chapter Six
BEN SQUINTEDat the sheet of paper lying on his desk, covered with barely legible pencil scratches, then turned to look at the boy standing by his elbow. Cole was a great kid and had a good mind, as long as he was able to respond verbally or physically. If he had to actually write something down? Chaos ensued.
“Tell me what’s going on here,” Ben suggested. “Walk me throughit.”
But Cole hadn’t even started talking when a commotion arose in the far corner of the classroom. An overturned chair, a desk skidding noisily across the floor— “Peyton and Ty,” Ben said. Well, possibly he yelled, but only because he needed to be heard, not because he was on his last nerve with these two. “You willnotstart that nonsense again. There is no fighting in this classroom. Notin this whole school. And you both know it.”
“He called me a slut!” Peyton responded. Ah, yes, the charming innocence of fifth grade. And Peyton was nice and loud, of course, so every kid could go home and tell their parents about the kind of language Ben allowed in his classroom.
“Totally unacceptable,” Ben said firmly. “But you respond with words or you come get me for help. You donotgetphysical.” Of course, that wasn’t enough. Cole would have to wait to get help with his work. “Both of you. Hallway. Now.”
They exchanged glares but did as they were told. That was a bit of a victory, at least.
In the hallway, he positioned himself so he could still see the classroom but the classroom couldn’t see Peyton or Ty. An audience was never a good thing when working with misbehavingkids. “Ty, did you really call her that?”
“It’s just the truth. You know what she—”
“No,” Ben said. “That’s not any of my business or any of your business so we’re not going to talk about it.” Although Ben would try to make it his business later, or maybe ask one of his female colleagues to intervene. Hopefully Ty just meant Peyton had held hands with two boys in the same week, but it couldbe something much more serious. “We don’t call people names, Ty. You know that.”
“He’s been saying that stuff about me all year,” Peyton said. She was crying now, not even trying to hide the tears. Damn, what would it be like to show emotion so plainly, so fearlessly? “And my mom said I don’t have to take it. She said he can’t talk to me like that.”
“She’s totally right. You don’t have to takeit.” Ben caught himself before he asked thebut did she tell you to start a fight with him in the middle of the classroomquestion, because knowing Peyton’s mom it was totally possible she had. “But there are different ways of stopping him. Using your words, and if your words don’t work, asking for help. You know I wouldn’t let him call you that, not if I knew it was happening. Right?”
Peytonglared. “I can handle it myself! I don’t need to go running to some teacher for help.”
“You can’t handle it with violence. Not in my classroom.”
“So if someone called you a fag, you’d just take it?” she retorted.
This wasn’t going well. Ben could practically hear the mother’s words in Peyton’s voice; this was a discussion that had been well rehearsed at home. He needed a new strategy. “Ty,go back inside and sit at the desk next to mine. Start writing. Explain to me why it’s inappropriate to call classmates names. If you do a good enough job, I’ll be able to tell your parents you seem to understand the problem. If you do a bad job, I’ll have to tell them you don’t have a good grasp of appropriate behavior and will be spending your recesses with me, talking it through, until you do understand.”
“You’re going to call my parents?”
Good, that was still a consequence that meant something. “I am. What I tell them when I call? Well, some of that is up to you. Get writing.”
Ty returned to the classroom, chastened at least temporarily. Ben turned back to Peyton. “If you’d told me he was using that language, he’d be in trouble and you’d be back in the class with your friends. But youdidn’ttell me, and you lost your cool. It’s okay to be angry, Peyton, and that language isabsolutelysomething worth getting angry about. But as soon as you get physical, as soon as you start a fight, especially with a kid who’s about six inches shorter than you are, you lose the moral high ground.”
“And if someone called you a fag, what would you do?”
“You’re presenting it like it’s a hypothetical…ifsomeone did that, what would I do. But, Peyton, I’ve been called that namelotsof times. And sometimes I get mad when it happens, sure.” He leaned into the classroom and announced, “I’m just outside the door. Stay focused on your work, please.” Then he looked back at Peyton. “But other people aren’t in charge of me. They can’t control me like that. They say a word and Ihaveto start a fight?No way. I’m in charge of me. Nobody else.”
“Like it’s so easy.”
“You know all the exercises we do in class? You know they have a purpose, right? They’re not just a fun way to get out of doing work for a few minutes. They’re designed to help us be in charge of ourselves, so our emotions don’t take us over. And I don’t just make you guys do them. I do them myself. They work for me, and that’swhy I encourage you guys to try.”
“Ty calls me a slut and I’m supposed to do deep breathing?”
“If you can use the deep breathing or anything else to keep yourself under control, fine. If you can’t, you tell me and I help you out. But he’s saying mean things to get you upset. You know that. So as soon as you get upset, you’ve given him what he wants. He’s won. Do you really want Ty to win this?”
She’d stopped crying, at least, and she was listening. But they’d had similar conversations in the past and she’d seemed to listen to them, too, so Ben wasn’t expecting any miracle cures.
“I don’t want him to win,” she admitted. “But my mom says emotions are good. We’resupposedto have emotions.”
“It’s aboutcontrollingthem, not deleting them. You might even say I experience my emotionsmorethan some other people because I can recognize them and appreciate them as they occur.”
“You can appreciate being mad because someone calls you a—”
“Wait. I let you use the word a few times because it seemed like part of a larger point you were making, but you’ve used it enough now. It’s not a word that’s allowed in this school, and you know it.”
