And he was working while she was there, so he didn’t even have to spend any time with her. He could pretend Aiden was hanging out at the frat or something. Doing whatever it was Aiden did when he wasn’t with Cade.
Still, he was nervous when he made his way home from work and saw the light shining out the window of the old apartment. The new place wasn’t going to be ready until the end of the month, and Cade had given Aiden a key to the old apartment in the meantime. It wasn’t too unusual for Aiden to let himself in if he arrived early, but Cade’s imagination tortured him as usual. He climbed the stairs with a growing certainty that he’d open the door to find not Aiden, but Mrs. St. John. She’d be standing in the middle of the room because she wouldn’t want to sit on any of his furniture or even get too close to the walls in case they contaminated her. And she’d smile at him, a real smile for the first time, one full of pity. She’d tell him that Aiden had finally come to his senses and realized what a mistake he was making. She’d say Cade could keep Aiden’s share of the damage deposit, and she’d even offer to pay Aiden’s half of the rent, just so Cade wouldn’t be stuck with a place he couldn’t afford. She’d be generous because she’d know she’d won. Cade would have the apartment, but she would have Aiden.
It was actually confusing to open the apartment door and see Aiden himself sprawled on the futon, reading a magazine. He looked up when Cade opened the door, and frowned as he watched Cade look around the apartment. “Where’s your mom?” Cade managed to ask.
Aiden looked confused. “On her way home, I guess. You didn’t… did you want to see her?”
“Fuck, no!” Well, that had been a little too enthusiastic, probably. “She saw the new place? She was okay with it?”
“She wants to decorate a bit. Some paint and furniture. That’d be okay, right? If she paid for the furniture? It’d still beherfurniture, not a gift to you. So, you know, not a huge deal if she stored it at our place for a couple years?”
A couple years. Signing the year-long lease had seemed like an exercise in impossible optimism, and now Aiden was casually doubling the length of their commitment? “Not a huge deal,” Cade managed to squeak.
“And she was hoping….” Aiden stopped. “No. That’s not important. I mean, sheishoping, but mostlyI’mhoping. We’d love it if you came up to the cottage this summer.”
“Your mother does not want me to come to her cottage,” Cade corrected patiently.
Aiden shrugged. “She says she does. I mean, yeah, it’s mostly because she wantsmeto come, and she knows there’s a better chance of that happening if I get to bring you. So she wants you to come.” He heaved himself off the low futon and crossed the room to stand in front of Cade. “Mostly,Iwant you there. It’s my favorite place in the world, Cade. We’ve got family and friends there, and there’s a lake and a forest and this fort that my cousins and I built when we were kids.” He shrugged. “I guess that doesn’t sound like much. But it’s really special. If my parents sold the house here, I’d miss it, but it wouldn’t be a huge deal. If they ever sold the cottage?” He frowned as he tried to imagine it. “Well, they never would. But if they ever did, I’d be… I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, ’cause they never will.” He waited for Cade to think, then smiled softly. “I’ve never taken anyone else up there. Well, friends, when I was little. But never a boyfriend. You’d be the first.”
Damn, Aiden knew Cade’s weaknesses. It would be excellent to be the first at something with Aiden. But that didn’t mean Cade had to surrender. “I have to work this summer. And the cottage is in Canada, right? I don’t have a passport.”
“We wouldn’t be leaving tomorrow or anything. You’d have time to get a passport. And we wouldn’t be staying all summer. You could get a week off work probably, right?” Aiden was watching Cade closely. “I understand that it doesn’t sound like a good time to you. But I think you’d like it once you got there. And I’d really like to show it to you.” He leaned forward and kissed Cade gently. “Thinkabout it. Okay? And, seriously, you should get a passport anyway! What if you got an offer for a really cool job but you needed to be able to travel?” He shook his head. “It’s irresponsible of you to not have a passport.”
“Just like it was irresponsible of me not to have a friend on campus who could buy me cold medicine?”
“Well, notjustlike that. But, yes, they are both examples of your shocking irresponsibility.”
They made dinner together and then went for a walk and enjoyed the spring evening. A couple weeks later the semester ended and they wrote their exams, and then they moved into their new apartment together. Mrs. St. John’s furniture was sleek and modern and probably cost more than Cade’s parents’ house, but he tried not to think about that. He tried not to think about anything except for how much he loved Aiden and how important it was to make him happy.
That was why, a couple months later, Cade found himself on a plane for the first time in his life. They flew from Chicago to Toronto, and Mrs. St. John picked them up at the airport with a huge hug for her son and a vague, halfhearted smile for Cade. He couldn’t believe he’d signed up for a week of her coldness and snubs. But when they were in the car, working their way out of the maze of the airport, Aiden reached into the backseat and found Cade’s hand and held on, and the trip seemed a little less painful, at least for a while.
Everything got worse when they pulled off the dirt road into a gravel parking area. There was a big wooden house in front of them, so he was pretty sure they were at the cottage. But why were there so many cars? Aiden had warned him that the cottage was in a sort of compound, a cluster of friends and family who spent lots of time together. But were they allthatclose? The drive looked more like a parking lot than a residence, and as soon as the car stopped, people poured out from the house, swarmed around the sides of the building, and even jogged in from the surrounding forest. Like ants to a picnic.
It wasn’t like Cade was afraid of crowds. He’d been born and raised in the city. But there was no urban anonymity here. These people weren’t brushing by, ignoring him. They were staring at the car as if it were full of celebrities, and when Aiden threw his door open, some of the crowd actually cheered.
Mr. St. John was there, of course, giving Aiden a big hug. Aiden hugged back, but only for a moment before breaking away and peering back at the car to see Cade still sitting there in the backseat. Aiden grinned and pulled the door open, then bent to whisper, “I didn’t know there’d be so many. But they’re all really nice, I promise. They’re going to love you.”
Cade had his doubts about that. He briefly considered sliding across the backseat to the door on the other side, escaping through it, and running off into the forest. But there’d be no Aiden in the forest, so he made himself climb out on the right side of the car. Aiden wrapped his arm around Cade’s shoulders and pulled him in snug and safe. “This is Cade Martin, you guys. Be nice to him—he’s a bit shy.” And then Aiden kissed him. It was only a quick peck on the temple. Nothing huge. But big enough to be noticed, and Cade braced himself for the disapproving rumbles from the crowd.
But they all kept smiling, and then Mr. St. John stepped forward and extended his hand. When Cade took it, Mr. St. John pulled him forward into a hug almost as enthusiastic as the one he’d given his own son. “It’s great to have someone keeping an eye on Aiden down at Purdue,” Mr. St. John announced to the crowd. “And Cade seems to have the job well in hand.”
Cade could feel his face flaming, but no one else seemed too concerned. Aiden just laughed and slipped his hand down to grab Cade’s. “You’ll figure out who everyone is, but it’ll take a while. First priority, though?” He tugged Cade until they were in front of a pair of redheads, probably about the same age as Aiden and Cade. “These are my cousins, Sarah and Todd.” He nodded in the direction of a pretty blonde and said, “Todd’s girlfriend, Taylor.” Then he scanned the crowd as if he was searching for someone before returning his attention to Sarah. “Damn. You here solo? You actually dumped him?”
“I told you I was going to, and I did.” She didn’t seem too broken up about the situation. “He was cramping my summer style.”
Aiden looked like he wanted to drag Sarah away and pry the details out of her right then, an instant fix for his gossip addiction. But he managed to restrain himself. “Tonight. The fort.”
“We’ve already got it stocked,” Todd confirmed. Then he extended his hand. “Cade, good to meet you.”
Cade went with it. That was what Aiden said he needed to work on. “You can’t control everything, Cade. Not even you. Sometimes, you need to go with it.” And then Aiden would kiss Cade, making it clear that he wasn’t criticizing, just trying to help. And Aiden was right. Cade couldn’t control everything, and he certainly had no way to deal with this overwhelming crowd. So he hung onto Aiden’s hand, the one stable thing in the dizzying swirl, and did his best to let it all happen.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It washard to feel Aiden’s eyes on him during dinner. It was a casual barbecue, everyone circulating and being attentive and friendly to Cade—a situation that any normal person should have been able to handle with ease. And Aiden so clearlywantedCade to be able to handle it. He wanted Cade to fit in, not only with this crowd, but with his whole life.
And no matter how hard he tried, Cade knew he didn’t.
“Hey,” he heard from close behind him, and he whirled around before he’d managed to get the requisite smile pasted onto his face. Sarah, Aiden’s cousin, was standing there with a gentle smile. “Come with me for a minute,” she said, and he did as he was told.
