“Okay,” Aiden said. He felt like an asshole for not having anticipated this. But at least Cade had told him. “No problem. But you shouldn’t have to buy all the groceries if I eat at your place. Or do all the cooking. We could take turns, right?” He wondered if he could arrange to cook huge quantities of whatever he made so that Cade could benefit from the leftovers. Maybe a full turkey dinner, just for the two of them. Cade would be set up for weeks.
“You’re going home soon, right? Maybe when you come back in January… you know, if you’re still into this, or whatever… maybe we could take turns, then.”
“No,” Aiden said firmly.
Cade turned to look at him, but returned his gaze to the street in front of them before saying, “What? ‘No’ what?”
“No. I’m not going home soon. I’m going to stick around. I might go up for a weekend or two, and my parents have already set up a week of skiing around Christmas Day, so I should do that. But that’s it. Otherwise I’m planning on staying here. To be with you.”
“I’ll be working,” Cade said carefully. Aiden really couldn’t get a read on how he was reacting to Aiden’s announcement. “I told you Chapman’s was giving me a second chance.”
“You said you didn’t know how many shifts they’d give you. If they don’t give you many, we’ll have time to hang out. If they give you lots, you’ll need someone to help out—making sure you’ve got clean shirts or whatever. You don’t have to entertain me. I just want to be here. For whatever.” And now for therealchallenge. “And if you want, I’d love to take you to my frat’s Christmas formal. It’s tomorrow. I know that’s not a lot of time. I wasn’t really planning to go, but then… I don’t know. I thought maybe I should. You could get to know Matt and Brent better. And Matt has his brother’s tux, for some reason, so if you want to borrow it—I know I didn’t give you a lot of prep time on this—that’d be cool with him.” A deep breath, and then, “Also, if you want to come skiing at Christmas? We’re borrowing a friend’s place in Aspen and there’s lots of room. Even if you don’t want to ski, you could come and we could hang out. It’s really beautiful. And—”
“No more!” Cade gasped. “No more ‘and’ or ‘also.’ Holy shit, that was a lot all at once already.”
“Okay, but I was going to wrap up by stressing that this is all totally optional. It’s stuff I’d like to do with you. But it’s not stuff you’d normally do. I get that. It’s all totally optional. I swear.”
“But it’s stuffyoulike doing,” Cade said. Aiden knew him well enough to recognize when he was working himself up into a misery.
Now he just needed to know him well enough to intervene. “Sure,” he said breezily. “I like doing that stuff. I mean, formals? They’re mostly for chicks, as far as I can see, but I don’t hate them. They’re marginally less likely to turn into drunken brawls than normal parties are, so that’s a plus. And skiing? Yeah, I think I’ll always enjoy skiing. And I get along well with my parents, so it’ll be good to spend some time with them. But the thing I’m really, really,reallylooking forward to over the break? Is spending more time with you. Nonlibrary time, if at all possible. I’dloveto cook for you. Seriously. I’m, like, mentally planning menus as we speak. And, Cade? The thing is—” He stopped walking and tugged on Cade’s hand until he turned and they were facing each other. “The thing is, I don’t really like cooking all that much. The part that makes me happy about it is thefor youpart. You know? I’d also like to do laundryfor youand learn more about chemistry so we can have better conversationsfor you, and do pretty much any other stupid, mundane task in the world, as long as there’s afor youattached to it.”
Aiden saw Cade struggling with it. He saw how much he wanted to believe, to embrace it and enjoy it and let it all happen. And he also saw the fear. The stupid, bewildering fear that made Aiden’s heart break on Cade’s behalf. What had made Cade that afraid to be loved? Aiden wanted to destroy it. He wanted to torture it first.
“The formal,” Cade practically gasped. “I can do the formal. I think. If your friend’s okay with loaning me the clothes. But I can’t go to Aspen. I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It’s too much.”
“Okay,” Aiden said. “That’s fine. And if you don’t think you’ll have fun at the formal, you don’t have to do that, either. Seriously. I kind of have to go, at least for a bit. And I think you will find me dashing in my formal attire. And I’d love to go with you. But you don’t have to.”
Cade turned and started walking again. “The frat boys are okay with you bringing a guy?”
“The ones who matter are okay with it. The ones who don’t matter? Who the hell knows what they think, and who the hell cares? They don’t matter.”
“Wow, this sounds like a really fun party.”
“If it’s not a good time, we can leave.”
“Okay,” Cade said.
“Yeah?” Aiden was proud of himself. He’d made this work.
“Do I get a corsage?” Cade asked.
“A boutonniere,” Aiden corrected. “Dudes get boutonnieres.”
“Do I have to getyouone?”
“No. But if you want… would it be too hokey if I got two? One for each of us? It’s a bit juvenile, I guess. It’s not likeadultsgo to a lot of parties where they decorate each other with matching flower arrangements. But it might be nice?”
“To mark me. It’s a proprietary thing. You’re worried that all the other frat boys will see me in my borrowed clothes and be overwhelmed by desire, and if I’m not clearly marked as someone else’s possession, they might swoop in and seduce me.”
“I don’t know if that’s quite how it would go.”
“No? That’s disappointing.”
“I like the part where I get to advertise my claim, though.”
“Yeah?” Cade’s smile was audible. “Okay, then. Advertise away.”
Aiden stopped walking. They were almost to Cade’s, and it wasn’t a great part of town, but it wasn’t dangerously rough. It was safe enough for him to edge Cade sideways until he was standing with his back against a brick storefront and then to kiss him, hard and deep. The hardest, deepest kiss they’d shared yet. But that was only the warm-up. Aiden kissed his way down Cade’s jaw and found a soft spot low down on the side of his neck, just where his shoulder started. When he startedto suck on the tender skin, he felt Cade’s whole body shiver and arch toward him.
