The last thing I wanted was for her to go to bed hungry on top of feeling miserable from the news today.
We sit together in silence for what feels like an eternity. I mull over what to say to her and come up short every time. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve found myself at a loss for what to do. I’ve been in the corporate world for nearly a decade and have had countless encounters with hard conversations.
But still, this is the hardest.
In the past, I’ve never felt for anyone as I feel for Whitney. And I’m quickly learning that changes everything.
Building up the courage to close the distance to us, I finally take a raspy breath and scoot closer to her on the couch. “Tell me to stop, Whitney.”
She blinks at me.
I move closer and whisper, “Tell me to back off. Tell me to leave, and I’ll do it.”
One slow tear trails down the side of her face. I track its movement, waiting for the moment when she tells me she never wants to see me again.
“Tell me to stop,” I say one more time, inching even closer.
Slowly, she shakes her head. “I can’t.”
That seems to be all the invitation I need. I close the distance between us, reaching forward and pulling her into my arms. “Come here, baby.”
She lets out a sob and clutches at me as if I’m her only lifeline. She buries her face in my chest as the emotion and the hurt overwhelms her.
I draw her in, resting my cheek against her hair, noting that it’s slightly damp. My body sways back and forth slowly as I rock her, hoping to lull her into a sense of comfort. I press kissesat the crown of her head, trying to put as much of myself into them as possible, in an attempt to portray how I’m here for her. How I’ll never leave, and I’ll never betray her again.
Each tear that falls feels like a slow, agonizing cut to my heart. But I don’t let that deter me. I hold her close to me, unrelenting. I am waiting for the moment when she’ll run out of tears and allow me to help her move past this.
It doesn’t matter how long it takes.
I resolve right then and there that she’ll never have to face anything like this alone ever again.
I’ll be by her side for as long as she allows me to be, weathering whatever storm comes our way.
Whitney
“Are you okay?”Theo asks into the darkness when he detects that I’m awake again. I must have dozed off at some point during the night, but now, again, I’m awake and forced to face the aftermath of today.
My eyes burn, and I squeeze them shut, trying to fight off more tears. Theo’s arms tighten around me, and he pulls me closer into his chest. I grip onto his shirt for dear life, not caring that I’m getting makeup all over the white fabric.
My whole world was flipped upside down yesterday. Am I okay?
Absolutely not.
But having Theo here with me has been helpful.
He’s been holding onto me for the entire night. At some point, he lifted me into his arms and brought me to bed so I didn’t spend the entire evening crying on the couch. He tucked me in and curled up against my back, spooning me and whispering soothing words into my ear the entire night.
I barely slept a wink, my mind too perturbed by the news that was delivered yesterday. I was trying to make sense of it all,but it wasn’t working. For whatever reason, no matter which way I spun it, I couldn’t see why Mr. Peterson would do such a thing. And I couldn’t imagine him being in that moment where he made the decision to steal from his company like that.
The version of him that I knew was not the version of him that he actually was.
The worst part of it all is that he’s not even here anymore. I wish he was still alive so I could confront him about this. Look him square in the eye and force him to explain to me why he did this. Why would he risk everything he had worked so hard to build?
He leans down and presses a kiss on my forehead. He lingers, breathing me in and exhaling warm breath down against my hair. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.
I’ve got to give it to Theo—he knew how badly this would hurt me, but he also knew how important it was that I know the truth about this matter. Even though he was the one to rip the rug out from under me, he was simultaneously the one to catch me before I hit the bottom.
Even when it hurts, I always want my partner to tell me the truth. And then I need to be able to trust that they’ll be by my side even when things get rough—like they did yesterday.
