I look down at my hands as I knit them together in my lap. Suddenly, I’m embarrassed about the whole thing, which is ridiculous. Leila has known me forever, so she’s no stranger to my weird, romantic checklist. And I’ve never been shy about sharing how my dates have stacked up against my high expectations, but for some reason, when it comes to telling her how Theo ranks, I’m feeling protective.
Leila scrutinizes my face for any subtle hints about what I’m feeling on the inside. She can read me like a book, and I seethe moment it dawns on her that Theo is possibly the only man who might score a perfect ten.
I haven’t checked lately to get the exact number, but based on the few qualities he has checked off, I know for a fact that if I ever were to find someone who met all of my expectations, Theo would be it.
There’s just something about that man that screams at me that he’s exactly what I’ve been looking for all these years. It’s terrifying and exhilarating. And I’m not entirely sure what to do with these feelings yet.
All I know is that every minute I spend with Theo, I want to spend a million more. I never knew he was missing in my life, but now that I’ve gotten to experience what it’s like to have him in it, I don’t think I can ever go back.
And that is a scary thought.
Especially given our circumstances.
At the end of the day, Theo is still my boss, and I’m still his employee. We’re dancing along the line of professionalism—which is sometimes thrilling and exciting, but it’s also terrifying.
Though we haven’t been together very long, I feel like I’ve known him much longer. I’m comfortable around him, more so than any other man I’ve been with. He seems to understand me in a way that I can’t describe.
If I don’t watch myself, I know I’m going to fall fast and hard for Theo Hurst.
And to make matters worse, I suspect that he feels all of these things about me, too. If not based on the way he treats me, definitely based on the way that he looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful person to him, or how he runs his hands over my body as if he can’t get enough of me.
“So, it’s like that,” Leila whispers, her eyes softening.
My heart thunders in my chest, and panic starts to rise. “What do I do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t be falling for Theo,” I protest.
She raises an eyebrow at me. “And why not?”
“You know why. It’s so?—”
“Perfect?” she fills in for me, her lips twisting again. “If it’s as perfect as you’re hinting to me that it is, then I don’t see the problem.”
“Maybe he signs my paychecks every two weeks?” I say dismally. “Or that he’s way out of my league? He’s a CEO, Leila. I’m just an assistant. A fact his mother drilled home for me today in not so many words.”
Leila arches an eyebrow. “Okay, well you’re going to need to fill me in on that one, but trust me, worse things, far more scandalous things, have happened.”
I fall back into the cushions of my couch and cover my face with my hands. “It’s not even that. It’s just—I feel so insecure about it.”
“Maybe that’s something you need to talk to him about then,” Leila suggests. “He should know how you’re feeling.”
“He knows,” I tell her, uncovering my face and giving her a bland look. “But he’s trying to have the best of both worlds. He wants to wait until his ninety-day review before we make anything official with HR.”
“Why?” Leila asks the question that’s been running through my mind since Theo first suggested it.
“I think it’s because he’s worried it will affect how the Board sees him before he has a chance to prove himself in their eyes,” I explain. “Which I understand. And I agreed to it because it makes sense to me. But still, with every day that passes and he keeps meeting qualities off that stupidlist, all I want is for him to say ‘Fuck it all’ and claim me as his, for everyone to see.”
Leila is quiet for a moment once I finish my big proclamation. She studies me intently, her soft eyes running over every feature of my face as if looking for clues. “Have you told him about your list?”
My eyes close, and I shake my head. When I open my eyes again, Leila’s about to say something, but I cut her off. “I thought for a second he might’ve known about it when we went out of town for his mother’s gala, but I think he was just saying things. I haven’t told him.”
“Do you think you should tell him?”
“I don’t know,” I admit truthfully. It’s something I’ve done for so long, but still, when faced with someone who might potentially be everything I’m looking for, I’ve suddenly gotten embarrassed about it.
“If I were a guy and I found out that a woman I cared deeply about routinely measured me up against something so seemingly unattainable, I think I’d be bothered by it, don’t you?”
