Consider what love really means.
Lydia was considering. And the more she considered, the less certain she became.
Chapter 20
The morning of the deadline dawned cold and bright, with a sky so blue it seemed almost cruel.
Lydia had barely slept. The nightmare had returned twice more, Frederick walking into flames, Frederick burning, Frederick lost to her forever, and each time she'd woken gasping, her heart pounding, her sheets tangled around her legs like chains.
Now she sat on the edge of her bed, watching the sun rise through her small window, and tried to remember how to breathe.
Today is the day.
Helena's deadline. The end of the week, she'd given Frederick to "come to his senses." The day when everything would be decided, one way or another.
She should go to the manor. That was what they'd agreed, what they'd promised each other over and over in the past week. Whatever came next, they would face it together.
But Helena's words kept circling in her mind, persistent as crows.
Is your happiness worth his future?
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is let him go.
His children will pay for a choice their father made before they were born.
Lydia pressed her hands to her face and tried to think clearly. She had promised to fight. She had kissed Frederick and told him they would face this together. She had listened to Boggins' impassioned speech about three generations of Hawthornes choosing duty over love and had sworn that they would be different.
But that was before Helena's visit. Before the story about Frederick’s mother. Before the nightmare of fire and sacrifice and loss.
He would give up everything for you.
That was what terrified her most. Not Helena's threats, not the social consequences, not even the whispered gossip about her children. It was the certainty that Frederick would sacrifice everything. His title, his position, his future. His ability to do good in the world. His seat in the House of Lords, where he could advocate for laws that helped ordinary people.
All of it, gone, for her.
And he would do it gladly, without hesitation, without regret. Because he loved her. Because he had finally found something worth wanting, and he would burn the world down before he let it go.
That's not love, Helena had said.That's destruction.
Lydia wasn't sure she believed that. But she wasn't sure she didn't, either.
She dressed mechanically, choosing the same blue dress she'd worn to theCrossedKeys—her best, the one that made her feel almost like she belonged in Frederick’s world.
The sun was fully up now, and the village was coming to life around her. She could hear the sounds of ordinary morning activity—carts rumbling past, children calling to each other, the distant sound of the church bells marking the hour.
Normal sounds. Familiar sounds. The sounds of a world that would keep turning regardless of what happened at the manor today.
She thought about going there. About standing beside Frederick when he faced his aunt, holding his hand, showing the world that they had chosen each other and would not be moved.
But every time she imagined it, she saw the fire. She saw Frederick stepping into the flames. She saw everything he was, everything he could be, consumed by his love for her.
Is your happiness worth his future?
She had to know. She had to see for herself what he was planning, what he was willing to sacrifice. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as Helena had made it sound. Maybe there was a way to have both; love and duty, happiness and position.
Or maybe Helena was right. Maybe the only way to save Frederick was to let him go.
Either way, she needed to see him. She needed to look in his eyes and understand exactly what she was asking him to give up.
