Darwood nodded.
Wallace continued, “Most importantly, that ‘lady’ is in charge of this mission, and reports to the people who hold your leash. This isheroperation, which means you will do whatever the fuck she says, and you will do it respectfully. Or, you can say goodbye to your sweetheart deal and say hello to a dark fucking hole with your name on it, located someplace you won’t find on any map.”
“Alright, ease up, he gets the picture,” Hart said, tapping Wallace’s shoulder.
Cameron shook him off, shooting Hart ‘Snake Eyes.’ “Put a hand on me again and it’ll be the last thing you do with it before a series of extensive and painful surgeries.”
The two men stared off and I’m not proud to admit it, but it made me so wet I thoughtIwas going to have to find a bush. It’s not like these two ultra hot guys were fighting over me or anything but try convincing my panties that.
“You know thatwe’redoingyoua favor by being here, right?” Hart asked, pulling my focus back to dry land.
“Gee,” I replied. “I thought we were all here to serve the American people.”
“Look,” Cameron said. “I’m sure your bad-guy is the life of the fuckin’ party back home in Osh-fuckin’-Bgosh, Ohio, but our bad-guy here in Russia doesn’t have a sense of humor. My partner and I are only alive because Sahsa Fedya respects and fears your asset. We need him to keep doing so.”
“You’re alive because you dropped my asset’s name. He’s only here because I’m here and I’m only here because George asked.”
“You know, I wonder,” Cameron said. “When God wakes up in the morning, does he think he’s you?”
“Girls, girls, you’re both fuckin’ pretty, okay,” Darwood said, cutting in. “How about youse can both ride on the parade float together, huh?”
“Shut up,” both Hart and Wallace said in unison.
“Oh, good. Now we’re on the same page,” Wallace said to Hart before turning to Darwood. “We need you to be Mr. B tonight, okay? Can you handle that?”
“I’ll be fine, I swear to gahd,” he replied. “But I’m gonna piss my fuckin’ pants if I don’t get to da john.”
“Just go behind the Jet, Krist,” Officer Hart snapped. “There by the back wheels.”
I had a feeling it was going to be a long night. I had no idea how right I was.
* * *
Cameron
This time around, we rented a Towncar and I drove, giving us the ability to speak freely and go over the mission plan several times on the way to Sasha’shouse. We supplied Hart and Darwood with as much pertinent information as we could and had to trust we could pull this off. The mission itself was simple.
“We meet privately with Sasha, and introduce him to Mr. B who, in turn, sells the idea of partnering with him,” I said.
“Which will not only save our butts, but hopefully grant me access to Sasha’s innerworkings,” Tess said. “Once I find out who his Nazi plunder connection is, I can get the heck out of here. Everything hinges on tonight.”
“So, let’s not shit the bed, gentlemen,” I said.
“And, if I didn’t say it before, thank you for assisting us,” Tess said.
I saw Officer Hart nod in the rearview mirror.
“Hey, every operation I assist on reduces the number of days I gotta have dis fuckin’ thing on,” Darwood said, pointing to his ankle monitor. “So I’m cream fuckin’ cheese over here.”
How this man came to be a feared connected guy was completely mind blowing to me. Used car salesman? Sure. Carnival barker? Absolutely. Game show host aboard the worst Great Lakes dinner cruise you’ve ever been on? B-I-N-G-Fn’-O.
But black-market smuggling kingpin? Try as I might, I couldn’t see it. But Mr. B was our only card at the table, so I was gonna do my best to play the fuck out of him.
“Potential asset or not,” Hart said. “If Sasha doesn’t go for this, and things go pear shaped, I have no problem putting two rounds in his chest.”
Holy shit, this guy was a crotch pheasant. Did hememorize that fucking dialogue from some straight toMüvieNüdleaction flick?
“That’ll be some trick to pull off without a gun,” I replied.
