“Sissy, what if this man is the greatest man on the planet and you turn him down because of an allegiance to your best friend?”
“Hos before bros, Kady.”
“I get it, but he hasn’t done anything wrong. And he takes care of our grandmother for god’s sake. Granny absolutely gushes about him. Anyone who takes care of the elderly is good in my book, and you’ve always said if people are good to the elderlyandanimals, they’re good in yours.”
“Yes, I did say that.”
“So, give the man a chance. If he fucks up, he fucks up and you can walk away, right?”
“Yes, I can walk away.”
“Have a little fun, honey. Live alittle.”
I sighed. “That’s what Granny says.”
“Then we should always mind our elders.”
I chuckled. “I guess so.”
“Okay, I’m doing some final packing before I catch my plane. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Love you, sissy.”
“Love you back.”
“Have fun.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I’ll try.”
“There’s the spirit.”
We rang off and I headed to meet my destiny.
* * *
The Red Rider wheezed onto the Saddle Rack lot, and thankfully, Iwas able to find a space for her to rest her tired bones quickly. After one last lip and eyelash check in the rearview, I carefully slid out of the car, doing my very best not to pop a button on what were most undoubtedly the tightest pair of jeans I owned. I don’t know what possessed me to dress like Sandy at the end of Grease, but here I was in full hair and makeup, an event usually reserved for weddings and university galas…not that I attended many of those, and the tightest black clothes I could squeeze my cafeteria eating ass into. But the truth was, Ididknow what possessed me, or ratherwho. The real question was why? As in, why in the name of Jane Goodall did I agree to go out with a biker? And why did I feel compelled to enter a ‘Whore-Sandy’ lookalike contest inhopes of being more attractive to him?
Maybe it’s because it’s been a hot fuckin’ minute since you let anyone near you, let alone found someone who could very likely handle the job of pounding the hell out of you.
“Who said that?” I asked.
Don’t play games with me, bitch. You know exactly who this is and I’m tired of being ignored.
Great. Just great. As if my life wasn’t crazy enough, now my pussy was talking to me. One more clear sign that I was definitely cracking up. I could just imagine some square-jawed psychiatrist locking me up in a mental hospital for life, declaring that I was suffering from an acute and incurable case of a new form of mental illness that he’d discovered called VaginaInner-Monologue.
“Please, gather ’round, everyone,” he’d say to his bright-eyed med students. “I want you all to get a good look at this patient. She was once like you. Young, full of promise, and destined for a brilliant academic career. But on the brink of her launch, instead of being awarded her doctorate and going on to become the top animal behaviorist field researcher in the history of biological research, she started a fight with her vajayjay that still rages on inside her head to this very day.”
“But sir. How can we avoid succumbing to such a fate?” one of his pupils would ask.
“That’s an excellent question,” the doctor would reply. “You must never let your kitty go without beingpetted for too long. That was Ms. Whitman’s tragic mistake. She ignored the desperate cries of her starving beaver. She let her muffin go unbuttered, causing it to become stale and dry. She failed to water her flower. Dear students. I beg you all to hear and heed my words on this very day. Do not let your box go unbeaten for more than a season lest you suffer her fate.”
As I made my way to the entrance, I could see Snarl waiting for me. Even though he was a biker and not a cowboy, he still managed to look perfectly in place leaning against one of the old west style hitching posts next to the front door. Damn, this man even madeleaninglook sexy.
“Wow. You look beautiful,”Snarl said as I approached.
“I feel like maybe I overdid it just a little,” I confessed.
“What? You kiddin’? You’re gonna be the belle of the ball in this place.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “You really do look great.”
