I frowned. “Wait, I’m confused.”
“Chelsea had gotten a partial scholarship to Harvard for volleyball but took the full ride to North Carolina because it was one that we both knew I could get into. My grades weren’t nearly as good as hers, but math and science have always been my thing and my parents could afford pretty much anywhere, so we landed on North Carolina.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming. I did not want to hear about Cash and the love of his life.
“One minute, Cash.”
He met my eyes. “I didn’t end up going to North Carolina, Teagan, because while Chelsea was there during her freshman year, she went out with a few girls, and was raped.”
I gasped. “What?”
Cash nodded. “It was off-campus, the guy was from a different university. He drugged her, and took video of the whole thing.”
“Oh my god.” I burst into tears. “When did this all happen?”
“A little over ten years ago. I had just turned eighteen, graduated high school two months before. She was nineteen and about to start her sophomore year at university. It was a mess. But she was strong. Jesus, she was so strong. She decided it wasn’t going to break her, and she decided to come home. OHSU took her on, it was her second choice school, after Harvard, after all, and it meant I could be there to protect her. We had it planned. What we didn’t realize, was the obsession this asshole had for her. He followed her. Stalked her for weeks. Waited until she was alone. Then he killed her.” He shook his head. “Her dad was late picking her up by ten minutes. Ten fucking minutes. He died of a heart attack two months later.”
I burst into tears. “Oh my god, Cash. I’m so sorry.”
“One moment in time. One night when I had to work. Her parents and I had a tag team deal.” He dragged his hands down his face. “But I have always felt like I should have been there. I couldn’t protect her. Couldn’t stop it from happening. I should have. I should have taken the night off. Should have known.”
“How?” I asked. “How could you have known? You were practically a kid.”
“Yeah, that’s what everyone says.” He ran his hands over his thighs. “I just feel like I could have done more.”
“You can’t do that, Cash. You can’t do the coulda, shoulda, woulda. It’ll drive you crazy.”
“Itdiddrive me crazy, Teagan. I attacked a kid—”
“You’re not talking about Eric, are you?”
“You know about that?” he hissed.
“Of course I know about that,” I said. “Daisy and I talk about everything. Well, except you and me. And believe me, it has killed me to keep that from her. Yes, I know about the dickhead who fucked her for cred, and no I have never told anyone about what you and Archer did, nor will I. As far as I’m concerned, you should have castrated him as well.”
“I should have controlled my rage,” he said.
“Or you stopped him from turning into another guy who raped another Chelsea.” I shrugged. “Just a thought.”
“Fuck. I have never looked at it that way.”
“Maybe you should. Daisy and I have always seen you as no less than a hero. But just forget I said that. You don’t need a bigger head.” He gave me a sideways smile and I bit my lip. “What happened to the guy who killed Chelsea?”
“Life in prison, until he was shanked a year in by another inmate. No video, no one saw anything, so there was no one to pin it on.” He shrugged. “Fine by me, and fine by Chelsea’s mom. He can burn in hell.”
“Definitely,” I agreed. “Why didn’t you go to college? Later, maybe?”
“I just couldn’t function. I felt guilty, I was pissed, sad, all the colors of the fuckin’ emotional rainbow. Focusing on medicine was not going to happen.”
I gasped. “You were going to be a doctor?”
“That was the plan.” He closed his eyes for a second. “Chelsea was slumming it for me, but we were in love, so we figured we owned the world. We’d finish out our prerequisites and then I’d sort out medical school after that. OHSU was a great compromise because Mom wanted me close.”
“No wonder you had a visceral reaction to me giving up law school.”
He cocked his head. “What do you mean?”
“Let me ask you a question and you can correct me if I’m wrong, okay?”
