“Can I get youanything to eat?” Train asked.
I shook my head.“I’m not hungry.”
“You have to eatsomething, baby,” he said, tenderly.
“I will in abit. I promise,” I said, but I was lying. I wasn’t hungry. Hunger requiredpain, and I wasn’t in pain. I was in the void. Train had been an absolute rockduring all of this, but I knew he was also in pain. “Did you eat?”
“Yeah, honey, Iate,” he said.
He wrapped anarm around me, and I fell against him, wanting nothing more than to curl up andhide somewhere alone with him.
“Hey there,Melly Belly.”
I gasped at thefamiliar voice, raising my head to see Beau ‘Bam Bam’ Nelson walking toward me,his wife, Lucy, right next to him, and his band behind him.
I promptly burstinto tears as I rose to my feet and fell into his arms. He caught me, wrappingme into a tight hug as I sobbed into his chest. One of the things I was themost proud of in my journey of self-discovery was the fact that I’d workedreally hard to make amends with the people I’d hurt. No one made me do it. Nolife coach gave me ‘homework’ in an effort to help me grow. I’d just pulled myhead out of my ass one day and realized I could no longer continue to treatpeople like they were disposable.
Includingmyself.
And Bam was oneof those people. Maybe one of the most important. I’d loved him. Deeply. ButI’d treated him like shit and although I may not have been the one who’d leakedour sex tape, or even known there’d been a sex tape to begin with (that was allmy mother’s doing, god rest her evil soul), I still had not treated him withthe respect he’d deserved.
So, when I’dgotten up the courage to fly out to Seattle a few years ago, I’d been bothsurprised and humbled that he’d agreed to meet with me. We’d talked for fourhours. All hatchets had been buried and our friendship had been set back onsolid ground, something that we’d never had any issues with. We’d always beenreally fantastic buddies. He always understood the music and the pressure oftouring, so I could talk to him on a level which meant we had a shorthand thatmade communication seamless for me.
“What are youdoing here?” I asked, hiccupping out the words. “Did you know Puddin’?”
“Never got thechance to meet him. I’m here for you, sweetheart,” he said. “We’re all here foryou.”
I glanced overat Lucy who smiled gently. No sign of jealousy. Just all sweetness and lovethat was her. Bam had hit the motherlode with her.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey, yourself.”She pulled me in for a hug, then the rest of Bam’s band, Roses for Anna, didthe same.
I turned andheld my hand out to Train who was now standing with hands crossed over hisbeefy chest watching me carefully. “This is Train.”
He raised aneyebrow, so I grabbed his arm and gave it a little tug.
Bam held hishand out. “Nice to meet you, man.”
Train gave him achin lift and shook his hand. “You, too.”
I slid my armaround his waist and held tight. “Are you sticking around for a bit?”
“Yeah,” Bamsaid. “We can stay for as long as you need.”
“Thanks, buddy.I really appreciate it.”
“On that note,can I borrow you for a sec?” Jimmy asked.
“Of course,” Isaid, releasing my death hold on Train and letting Jimmy pull me off toward theback of the room.
He gave meanother hug, then looped his arm with mine. “I know it’s a shit show right nowand I know you’re probably getting pressure from the label to get back on the road,right?”
“Obviously. Butit’s more about the crew. If we don’t keep going, they don’t get paid.”
“The label’s notpaying them some kind of bereavement pay?”
“Two shows,” Isaid. “I’m covering the rest.”
