“It’s okay,”Train said reassuringly. “This is something I live with every day. I don’texpect you or anyone else to change a single second of their lives to suit me.”
“Is this why youtend to turn into a ghost around mealtimes?”
He nodded. “I’mnot trying to be anti-social. It’s just extremely difficult to be in a group ofpeople while they’re eating.”
I bit my lip.“That must be horrible for you. I’m so sorry.”
“It makes socializingalmost impossible at times because most gatherings revolve around food. Atschool, I usually ate alone or with the occasional friend who I couldtolerate.”
“Tolerate, how?”
“Although, I’llalways be aware of it, there are some people whose mouth sounds don’t bother menearly as much as others.”
“What about yourclub brothers?” I asked.
“They all knowabout my condition and are used to my silent exits during club functions.”
“Right.” Ipicked up my fork. “Shall we find out which side of the spectrum my chewing’son?”
“As long as youpromise not to get offended if I have to beat a hasty retreat.”
I nodded, thenstabbed a forkful of salad.
“Croutons,”Train said, as if facing off with an old sworn enemy.
“Go big or gohome,” I said, and took a bite.
* * *
Train
I shut my eyesand braced myself, unsure of which result I hoped for. If her chewing sent myanxiety levels through the roof, it might be easier to get her out of my head.On the other hand, I wasn’t sure I wanted her gone. In truth, the more I wasaround Melody, the more I wanted her.
After a fewchews, Melody swallowed, and I opened my eyes.
“So?” she askednervously.
“Not bad,” Isaid, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
“What does thatmean?” she asked.
“It means I’m onalert, but not triggered.”
Melody’s smiletold me she wasn’t just happy, she was relieved. “Thank you for opening up tome. I can’t imagine it’s easy for you,” she said.
“I’m gonna talkto the band, too. I don’t want any of them to feel like I’m blowing them off.Sometimes I just have to step away from everyone and everything.”
“I’m surethey’ll understand,” she said. “You’re one of them now.”
“I hope so,because I respect the hell out of every one of those guys, and I love being onstage with them.”
“Doesn’t all thatsound on stage bother you?”
“The opposite,actually. Loud guitar amps, loud pipes, loudwomen,” I said with asmile. “The more volume, the better. Big sounds, chase the little sounds away.”
“Since you’rebeing so open, can I ask you another question?”
“Fire away.”
