“How long does it take and when will I know?”
“Usually around an hour, sometimes more, sometimes less. And don’t worry you’ll know.
I nodded and Orion kissed me before leading me back into the lab.
* * *
“I swear to god, I’ll cut your balls off with the knife in my boot if you lay another skip down, Chan.”
Doctor Chandler remained expressionless as he laid his card down.
“I hope you go another year without getting laid,” Orion said, staring down at the yellow card, signifying the loss of yet another turn.
“Don’t hate the playa,” Doctor Chandler deadpanned.
Orion turned to me. “Make him pay, Razzle. Avenge me!” he howled before taking another bong hit.
I checked my phone for the time. “It’s been over an hour and I still don’t feel anything. Maybe I should eat another frog,” I said and started to stand.
“No!” Both Orion and Doctor Chandler shouted.
“It’s a bad idea to take more edibles before the first batch kicks in,” Orion said, gently sitting me back down. “That’s when things can get a little nutty.”
“Nutty? What does nutty mean?” I said, starting to panic. “Are things going to get nutty for me?”
“Don’t worry, babe. You’ll be fine,” he said, but his words didn’t necessarily make me feel better. In fact, I was starting to feel a little warm. “It’s your turn,” Orion said, pointing to my cards.
“It’s not fair,” I said. “You guys are already high, which probably makes UNO more tolerable, but I’m still sober as a judge and will probably turn out to be one of those people who have that liver enzyme that makes edibles ineffective for me. I read a paper on the subject about six months ago. Is it hot in here? I can’t remember the name of the enzyme, but it was fascinating. That’s a hard word to say.Fascinating.It’s weird because there’s a C in fascinating but you don’t say the C when you say fascinating, you just say the word. Which is weird, because I guess that’s how all words work. We just saaaaay them, but we never really think about it, do we? That’s strange, isn’t it? I mean, all the hundreds and thousands of little things we say and do every day that we don’t even think about, like saying words. Saying words. Wait, that’s not right. Word saying. What’s the word for saying words?”
“Talking,” Orion said.
“Talking. Right!” I said excitedly before noticing how Orion and Doctor Chandler were looking at me. “Am I talking a lot?”
Orion smiled and said, “It’s still your turn.”
I looked down at the array of colorful cards I was holding in my hand and instantly began to weep at their beauty. Never had I held such a vibrant display of pulsating color and light within my hands. Tears began to stream down my face as I stared at their magnificent beauty and I wondered why I couldn’t recall UNO being such a beautifully moving game when I’d played it in the past. Perhaps this was an updated version.
My lips began to sweat.
Wait? Do lips sweat? Did I just ask that out loud? Did I just ask that out loud, too?
“Razzle?” I heard Orion ask from the other end of the tunnel we were now in.
I tried to answer but my lips were too heavy to move.
“I think Mr. Hoppy is doing his job, Chan,” Orion said.
By my estimation it took approximately seventeen minutes for me to complete the following sentence, “I think I’m starting to feel something.”
And feel something I did. Panic.
“I think I’m too high. I think I took too much and my heart is going to explode. Can you guys hear my heart? It’s beating super loud right? Am I talking loud?” I asked, fairly sure those words could very well be my last.
I couldn’t tell if the boys were trying not to laugh or if the look on their faces was one of concern. It was probably concern. They probably knew I was about to die of a marijuana overdose, and they didn’t have the heart to tell me.
“Raquel, honey,” Orion said, sweetly. His words momentarily anchoring me back to reality.
“Hmmmm?” I answered.
