Not just because of the firepit crackling at the center of the lower back patio or the heavy knit sweater I wear under Rennick’s jacket. But because I’m healed—which is a reality I’m still trying to adjust to. It feels almost unreal that I can be out here with my friends while Rennick is inside the house, holed up in the conference room with Rook and Canaan, and my body isn’t threatening to falter in his absence.
They’re going over defense strategies now, building contingency plans in response to the ward breach earlier this week. It’s something Canaan’s been tracking closely the last few days, holding the line while Rennick’s focus was on me.
In my mind, the fact the breach happened at all has been buried beneath everything else that’s been going on. My heat. The exchange of claiming bites. The flood of memories my mom guided us through. There’s been too many other fires burning at once for it to stay at the top of my unofficialWhat ShouldNoa Be Concerned About Todaylist. I didn’t even learn who was responsible until yesterday, when Canaan mentioned it in passing over breakfast. Three former pack members. The ones who defected to Pack McNamara. No one knows why they came back, whether it was personal or orders passed down from Cathal. Everything right now is still theory.
But I know which way I’m leaning.
In front of me, Rhosyn, Seren, and Siggy are seated in the Adirondack chairs arranged around the built-in firepit. Rhosyn has her fur-lined boots propped against the stone edge, completely at ease. Seren is curled sideways, a blanket pulled around her legs and the ever-present baby monitor in her lap. Siggy sits forward in her chair, her mug of hot chocolate cradled between both hands, eyes alert and assessing. Her posture screaming she’s ready to bolt if the need arises—but she hasn’t and that’s progress in itself.
I’m the odd one out.
Standing a few feet away from the cobbled stone pad of the patio, my eyes are closed, my arms hang loose at my sides, and my jaw clenches as I try to concentrate. I’m attempting something that should be instinctive, a reflex instilled in me at birth, one easy as breathing. But for some reason, it’s none of that.
Shifting.
It’s been three days since my mother’s spell shattered. Three days since my wolf stopped feeling like a frantic, trapped thing pacing behind a wall of glass. She’s closer than she’s ever been, not desperate or clawing to get out, but steadily present. Close enough I swear I could reach out and touch her if I tried hard enough. And Iamtrying.
But still, she remains just out of reach and refuses to take that final step forward.
“Noa, light of my life,” Seren cuts in, her voice bright and entirely unhelpful. “Are you trying to shift or shit your pants? Because I genuinely cannot tell with that horrible face you’re making.”
I let out a breath through my nose and force my jaw to relax, cracking one eye open just enough to glare in her direction. She’s leaning back in her chair, a smug and unremorseful grin on her face. Rhosyn’s biting back a laugh. Siggy at least has the decency to try and look polite about it. She’s failing.
“Helpful,” I snipe, before straightening and opening my eyes fully. “I’m so glad my struggle is entertaining.”
Rhosyn tilts her head thoughtfully, wild, fawn curls bouncing around her face. “Well, her wolf was on the cusp of coming forward over seven years ago and then got locked up right before she got the chance. If I were her, I’d be a stubborn little shit too and hold a grudge.”
“I still think she’s just scared,” Siggy offers gently, her smile soft and sympathetic. I return it. “Stepping into the world after being in a cage is scary.”
Something in my chest fractures at this, a thin, brittle sound, like glass cracking, that can be felt more than heard.
Seren’s grin falls away instantly and she leans toward Siggy, reaching for her without thinking. “Sig?—”
“I’m okay,” Siggy insists quickly, waving the offered hand off. “Really. That’s not what I…I’m just saying I know what it’s like. I think Noa’s wolf needs patience. She’ll come out when she’s ready.”
We fall silent, the fire popping between us, as the mood shifts into something heavier.
It’s Rhosyn who breaks it, because it’s always Rhosyn.
“Nope,” she declares with an emphaticpop. “My money’s still on her being a stubborn, petty heifer.” Her Mississippi accent and amusement bleed through each syllable as she jerksher thumb in my direction. “Have you met her human half? I thought I was hardheaded, and then I met Noa. Suddenly I don’t seem so bad.”
“Rude,” I sniff.
“But not wrong,” Seren adds, shooting me a pointed look.
I don’t argue, because I don’t really have a leg to stand on here. Not when my own stubbornness and lingering fear are the reason I delayed accepting Rennick’s bite. The reason I was able to convince myself I needed more time. That delay is what caused my heart to stop during my heat and the reason Ren now carries a type of fear with him that can’t be wiped away. It’s scarred into his soul. This is a mistake I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for.
“Okay, I’ve got it,” Rhosyn declares, clapping her hands once and then shifting forward in her seat. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Noa, I’m going to think about what it’s like to shift. The whole process from my perspective.” She wags a finger at her temple. “Use that new party trick of yours and get into my head and watch.”
I hesitate.
They haven’t just been trying to coach me through shifting. Ever since my mother’s spell shattered, everyone’s also been trying to help me figure out the limits of my magic now that it’s free.
The first time I was in the same room as everyone afterward, I nearly folded in on myself as half a dozen voices flooded my head all at once. It felt like standing in the middle of a room with every news channel blaring at max volume from every corner. I couldn’t focus on a single thread of thought and within seconds, my head was pounding hard enough to make my stomach roil.
Seren, with her ability to sense people’s emotions, stepped in immediately. She’s been teaching me how to build mental walls, how to staunch the bleed of other people’s thoughts into mine soI’m not drowning all the time. I need to learn how to wield my magic so I can access it and use it when I want.Wantbeing the operative word here.
Everyone in our inner circle has been patient enough to let me practice with them. They’ve allowed me to test how far into their minds I can reach or how much distance I can put between us before the connection falls apart. I already knew I could link with Rennick from far away, but I didn’t know if that was my magic or our bond. Turns out, it’s the bond. With everyone else, my limit seems to be right around a mile. Any farther than that and the connection thins until it drops completely. Canaan and Rhosyn volunteered themselves as test subjects for this. They shifted and ran in different directions so I could find exactly where that line is.
