However, I’d leave before midnight.
I doubt he’d even notice.
Candice and Sebastian ended up on the other side of the flat talking with a bunch of people. It was a blessing because she was fawning all over him, touching him, and he was allowing it to happen. His behavior was uncharacteristically cruel considering what happened between us before Christmas.
I saw Harry at one point before he joined Sebastian’s wee group.
Zac and Jan seemed to take it upon themselves to recover my night and apparently that meant getting me drunk.
I downed a pint of water in between each beer they set in front of me and I ate the party food. It was catered and delicious and I needed it to soak up the alcohol. Between the crowded room, the drink, and my indignant fury, I grew uncomfortably hot.
“Are you okay?” Zac asked suddenly, his brow furrowed.
I probably looked like a bronzed tomato. “I need some air.”
“Oh, come this way.” He took my hand before I could agree, and I found myself being led into his bedroom. Zac closed the door, dropped my hand, and crossed the room to open the large window near his bed. His room was slightly smaller than Sebastian’s and way less cozy. There was hardly anything in it and his furniture choices were on the severe sterile side of modern. The only item that looked somewhat comfortable was his bed.
As if he read my mind, he smirked. “I grew up with a mother who hates clutter and loves clean lines. Her tastes rubbed off on me.”
Nodding, I moved to the window and sighed in relief as the wintry air seeping in through it fluttered over my skin in a cooling caress. “Thanks for this.”
“No problem.” He leaned against the wall.
Feeling his penetrating stare, I turned from the window. “What?”
“I can snog you at midnight,” Zac offered matter-of-factly.
I snorted. “I don’t need a pity snog, but thanks.”
“Lil, you’ve seen you, right?” Zac gave me a very serious look, despite the drunken glaze in his eyes. “You’re gorgeous. It wouldn’t exactly be a chore to kiss you at midnight.”
“You’re sweet.” I reached out to squeeze his arm. “But I’m good. I promise.” It was an absolute lie.
“Right.” His tone suggested he knew it was a lie too.
Wanting desperately to change the subject, I asked, “How was LA?”
Zac’s entire demeanor changed. His features hardened and he pushed away from the wall. “Exactly as I imagined it would be.”
Sympathy filled me at his dull tone. “Do you want to talk about it?”
His eyes and mouth softened. “There’s not much to say, Lil. I realized a few years ago that my mother is a narcissist who loves herself more than she’ll ever love anyone else, including her son. One day my heart will catch up with my brain and it’ll stop hurting.”
I didn’t say I was sorry. I had a feeling that would piss him off. But I was sorry. It baffled me that some people had children and then forgot to love them. “You’ll do better with your own children.”
“I hope so. Harry and I say that all the time.”
Surprised, I asked, “Harry wants children?”
Zac chuckled. “Unbelievably, yes. At some point. Later. Much, much later in life. But he gets it, you know. His mum is all right. But his dad is an utter prick. It’s harder for Bas to get it. He’s had this amazing childhood with wonderful, loving parents. Like something out of a children’s book.”
I frowned because I heard a hint of bitterness in his tone. “He’s not had it easy with his parents this year.”
“Oh, I know.” Zac nodded. “I feel bad for the guy. But at the same time, his parents were good when he needed them to be. Not much to complain about there. Bastian’s kind of … things come easy to him. I love the bloke, so I’m glad for him, but I think he takes things for granted.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed at all. The one thing I’d admired about Sebastian was that he recognized his privilege and had a great perspective.
“I’m feeling better,” I replied quietly. “I’m going to find January.”
