“Ladies, we’re ready and I have places to be,” Kenny, our producer, huffed into our headphones.
With that, we started the episode. A few call-ins got the ball rolling and discussion flew between us.
“So, we’re talking Sierra’s … what… tenth date since the start of the semester?” Aiysha said into her microphone. “Lily, she’s making you look like an old spinster. No offense.”
“I think it’s more than ten, actually.” Sierra grinned at me. “Come on, Lil. Tell us all why you’re going through such a long dry spell. Does it have a name?”
At the wicked glint in her eye, I stared back stonily. I did not want to talk about Sebastian on our podcast. “I’m just busy.”
“I think it has a name,” Jan agreed.
This time, my quelling look made the smile drop from my sister’s face.
“Okay, well, it can’t only be that you’re busy,” she recovered.
Deciding now was a good time to bring up the discussion of peer pressure, I asked, “Why is it young women are under pressure from society to actively pursue romance? If we’re not actively trying to date, it’s worse than if we are and are failing.” I looked at my cohosts. “Can’t I just take a break from the exhausting process of dating? I have a lot going on with school and I’m tired. Sorry, that’s not a funny or charming answer … but I’m tired, guys. I’m tired of looking for Mr. Right and I need a break. I’m not giving up. I just need a break. And I think we should normalize women making the decision to focus on themselves instead of pursuing a romantic connection.”
My cohosts were silent for a few seconds.
Then January slow clapped. “Well fucking said, big sister. I bow to your feminist wisdom.”
My lips curled at the corner. “For those of you who don’t know my wee sister well, that is not her sarcastic tone, though you might think differently.”
“No, I’m sincere. I can accept being put in my place when it’s done as well as that. We should all shut the hell up and let you be you. Note that, listeners. If the people in your life are pressuring you into anything, they should all shut the hell up and let you be you.”
A few days later, after the episode aired, I was gratified by all the comments on our socials from listeners telling me I’d made them feel seen. That they often needed to take breaks between long periods of serial dating, and family and friends made remarks and comments that were unhelpful. Like how “They weren’t getting any younger” and “You won’t find anyone if you don’t look.” There was even a comment from a person who identified as asexual and how she was constantly pressured to date by family who didn’t understand. She’d turned my quote, “I think we should normalize women making the decision to focus on themselves instead of pursuing a romantic connection” into a reel that got so many thousands of likes, I was blown away.
It reminded me that I didn’t need to be dating to be useful on the podcast. That I had things to say and shockingly, people wanted to listen. That night, I sat down and rearranged some of my schedule to fit in more episodes. Just as I was finishing up, I got a few texts from Sebastian.
Listened to your episode. You’re amazing.
But I miss you.
It’s been four days without Lily.
Come over to the flat tomorrow.
I’ll order takeaway.
And because I was apparently a masochist, I replied.
Make it Thai and I’ll be there.
Two seconds later, my phone beeped again.
You got it. Can’t wait to see you.
CHAPTER TWENTY
SEBASTIAN
During a slow moment in the football match the lads and I were watching on TV, I glanced at my phone again to see if Lily had texted to say she was on her way. It felt like forever since I’d seen her.
Harry nudged me. “What’s going on?”
I frowned at him. He was lounged next to me on our large sectional, a can of cold beer in hand. Zac was sprawled at the other end of the sofa, sipping on his beer, eyes on the Caley United game.
“Nothing’s going on.”
