By the time November rolled around, Sebastian had become the closest person in my life, and I think the feeling was mutual. Had my crush dissipated? Not even a wee bit. However, I thinkI’d finally made peace with the fact that ours would only ever be a great friendship and nothing more.
As busy as I was with work, friends, and avoiding my true feelings, when Beth told me she was bringing her new boyfriend to a big family Sunday dinner at her parents’, I knew I needed to be there to support her. Beth’s boyfriend wasn’t just any bloke. He was Callan Keen. If I was more into football, I’d have known who he was before I googled him. Callan Keen, as it turned out, was only Scotland’s most famous football player and captain of Edinburgh team Caledonia United. The relationship had started unconventionally (as in they were fake dating forreasons) but had turned into something real. Beth introducing him to her parents was a big deal.
I don’t think she was expecting every member of our extended family to be there. Or for the dads (mine, Uncle Braden, Uncle Cam, Uncle Marco, Uncle Adam, Uncle Cole, and Uncle Logan) to surround Callan like a pack of wild dogs.
To be fair to Callan, he handled it with such cool affability, I think he impressed our overprotective fathers and uncles.
I hadn’t expected Beth and Callan to bring Caley United goalie Baird McMillan along with them. If I hadn’t been so consumed with Sebastian and school, I might have developed a whopping crush on the goalie. He was well over six foot, broad of shoulder, powerfully muscled, and we shared a similar dark coloring. Baird’s longish dark hair was piled on top of his head in a messy man bun, and he had a neatly trimmed beard.
I had no time for crushing on the gregarious Scot who insinuated himself into the family like he’d known us for years. I left that to my wee sister. January eyed the goalie like she’d love a chance to fondle his footballs.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Beth said as she sat next to me at the dining table. “Callan, this is Lily, one of the few sane members of my family. Lily, Callan.”
I laughed and reached out to shake the very attractive football player’s hand. Callan had the most beautiful green eyes I’d ever seen. “Thanks, and nice to meet you.”
He flashed me a handsome grin and shook my hand. “You too. I’ve heard your podcast. You’re funny.”
My cheeks heated. “I appreciate that, thanks.”
We chatted among ourselves, but Callan soon got pulled into conversation with Beth’s brother Luke. Baird seemed to have recognized my sister’s interest and for whatever reason decided to avoid her. Instead, he pissed off all the men flirting with our mothers and then flirted outrageously with Beth’s brother Luke, which did not go down well with Luke’s boyfriend Afonso.
“Is he bi?” I’d asked Beth quietly.
She laughed, shaking her head. “No. He’s just a big flirt.”
“Afonso is going to kill him.”
“He should kill Luke.” Beth frowned at her brother. “He’s the one flirting back.”
“To be fair, Luke is a Caley United fan and Baird McMillan is flirting with him.”
My cousin chuckled, shaking her head as she turned from the drama unfolding at the end of the table. “What’s going on with you? How’s uni? My last year was such a bitch.”
“It is a lot of work,” I agreed, tired merely thinking about it. “I feel guilty. I’m getting my cut from the ad sponsorship for the podcast, but I’m not on it nearly as much as everyone else.” I needed the money, however. It covered my rent and bills. Sierra, Maddie, and I took turns editing each episode, so I was still pulling my weight in that respect … but the guilt remained.
Beth frowned in thought. “Lily, you helped build it into what it is. It was a fun dating advice show when I started it. You’ve turned it into a real place of commiseration and consolation. You make people feel seen and not alone. That’s incrediblyimportant. You might have taken a step back, but that doesn’t erase what you’ve achieved.”
I loved my cousin. There was no bigger cheerleader on the planet than Beth Carmichael. “Thank you for saying that.”
“So … any other news? That guy on your Instagram is awfully familiar,” she teased.
I assumed she referred to the photo of Sebastian I’d posted. He wasn’t alone in it. The photo was of me, him, Harry, and Juno. Juno came up again last weekend and we got a bit tipsy at Sebastian’s flat and played board games like eight-year-olds. Zac had snapped the shot of the three of us trying to tear cards out of Sebastian’s hand as he laughed uproariously. It was a wonderful photo, and I’d asked Zac for it.
Funny how Beth zoomed in on Sebastian and not Harry.
“Which one?” I played coy.
She wrinkled her nose at me. “The tall blond who I met before the summer.”
With a huff, I replied, “We’re just friends. He’s commitment phobic and I’m not looking for anything casual.”
“Shame. He’s delicious.”
Don’t remind me.
Beth was soon pulled into conversation with Baird, and I was left to my own thoughts. I glanced around the table at my large family, at our parents who all were tight knit, close, still obnoxiously in love. Maybe it was growing up surrounded by the kind of love you only read about that made me believe I’d eventually find it too. Maybe it was reading all those romance novels. Maybe it had given me a false sense of hope and optimism.
It suddenly occurred to me that I could end up being the person in our family whose love was unrequited.
