The decision was taken from me when his lashes fluttered. He dopily blinked a few times and his cheek pushed deeperagainst one of my boobs. I’d gone to bed in a cropped T-shirt that fully covered my breasts, but I was also braless underneath it. I made a wee noise of amusement as his eyebrow rose in question. We locked eyes and his expression relaxed into such awe and tenderness, my amusement was taken over by affection.
He lifted his head, studying my face before ogling my chest. “Well, this is a very nice way to wake up.”
“Aye, apparently you zero in on my boobs even when you’re unconscious.”
Sebastian’s laugh was low and husky with sleep as he slid his hand up my waist to cup my breast. “Who can blame me? They are spectacular. And very comfy.” His brow drew together. “I can’t remember the last time I had such a good sleep.”
“Me too.” My fingers drifted from his hair down his cheek.
That’s when I felt the subtle change in his body. A tension. I studied him carefully as his gaze lowered and glazed over slightly. He looked abruptly … lost.
Maybe even a wee bit afraid.
Venturing a guess as to why, I wanted to do nothing but reassure him. I caressed him, bringing my other arm up to smooth over his shoulder. “You know, all those old feelings don’t just disappear overnight.”
Sebastian’s eyes flew to mine, surprised. “How did you know what I was thinking?”
Glad my insight had been on point, I brought my knee up so I could tighten my thigh around him, attempting to cocoon him in every way I could. “I feel like I know you better than I know myself. Feelings as big as you had about Lawrence, about yourself, they don’t just disappear because you’ve decided to work through them. It’s a process. But I’m here, Sebastian. Anytime you start to feel the pull of those dark thoughts … tell me. And I’ll remind you why you deserve all the happiness in the world.”
Sebastian suddenly moved, bracing himself over me and in doing so nudging his hardening cock between my legs. His voice was thick with emotion and need. “Do you know how much I love you, Lily Sawyer?”
My hands fell to his waist as I bent my other leg, shifting my hips, urging him closer as heady desire warmed through me. “I have an inkling.”
He kissed me, uncaring we’d just awoken from sleep. Too needy to care.
All my usual overthinking flew out the window when it was just me and Sebastian.
By the time he broke the kiss, I gasped for air, my lips tingling. I barely had a chance to catch my breath when Sebastian undressed me, hauling my tee off, urging my pajama shorts and underwear down my legs. Then he was shoving out of his boxers and T-shirt, throwing them on the floor beside the jeans, boots, and sweater he’d discarded last night.
“I’m on the pill,” I informed him on a rushed whisper as I shivered and trembled with want.
Sebastian was in the middle of pulling a condom out of his jeans pocket. He glanced back at me, his features taut with lust. He let out a harsh pant. “Fuck, you don’t even know how much I want to take you bare … but …” He winced. “I should get a health check first. I haven’t … I haven’t been with anyone since last summer, but I also haven’t been checked since last winter.”
Damn.
What was I thinking?
I should have been the one to bring that up before ever suggesting we not use a condom. It was true, then. Falling in love had officially made me stupid.
I gave him a sheepish smile, grateful to him for having my best interests in mind. “Then after we both get checked.”
“For damn sure,” he agreed, dropping the condom on the pillow beside me.
“What are?—”
“Let me take care of you first.”
I curled my fingers in his hair, kissing him back like I needed his kiss to breathe. A hand slipped between my legs. His thumb circled my clit, and I whimpered into his mouth. Sebastian took over the kiss while I sighed and panted and murmured his name, my hips pushing into his touch.
My thighs trembled.
My abdomen tightened.
Sebastian’s thumb slicked over me and I was close. So close. “Lily, my love,” he murmured against my lips, “do you know how good you feel? How tight? How hot?” He groaned and rested his forehead against my chest. “So wet. So ready.”
I didn’t want to bloat his ego by telling him it usually took a lot more work than this to get me to this point. Magical pheromones, indeed. Or I loved him in a way I’d never loved a man, and it made all the difference. Probably both.
Easing his fingers from me, Sebastian moved down my body. “Spread,” he demanded in that posh accent. The incongruity of an accent that embodied British politeness with his crude command made my belly clench.
