“He grabbed you! The arsehole who messed with your fucking head was touching you against your will, and I lost my mind for a second. I’m only human!”
I shook my head, letting my disappointment drip from my words. “You’re not angry at him. You’re angry at yourself. Because you know that you’re messing with my head too, just in a different way than he did.” A crushing finality settled over me and I felt it in the slump of my shoulders. “The thing is, Sebastian, you can only have your head messed with for so long before you realize that you’reallowingyour head to be messed with. And I’m done. I’m done with you. I need you to stay out of my life, and I need everyone here to respect the fact that I don’t want to see you anymore.”
I turned on my heels, wrapping my arms tightly around my waist as I strode away from him.
The crushing expression on his face tugged at me.
However, for once, I didn’t want to put someone else’s feelings before mine.
I kept walking and heard my sister’s and friends’ footsteps follow.
As much as it hurt, I recognized in the long run I’d done the right thing. It wasn’t up to me to protect Sebastian from himself. If he loved me like I loved him, I’d be more important than some subconscious vow of penance he’d made when he was sixteen years old.
But I wasn’t.
I had to let him go.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
LILY
Butterflies raged in my belly as I approached Sebastian’s flat, but I needed a clean break.
The doorman recognized me and stepped aside to let me up. I shook my head instead and held out an envelope to him. “Can you make sure this gets to Sebastian Thorne in the penthouse flat?”
“Uh …” The doorman frowned but tentatively took the envelope. “Of course. Shall I tell him who it’s from?”
“He’ll know.” Tears thickened my throat and my voice cracked as I thanked him before turning back around. The tears finally fell as I rode off on my bike. Wasn’t I supposed to feel lighter? Like I’d just freed myself from something?
I didn’t feel lighter.
If anything, I felt as if the weight of the entire world was riding alongside me.
CHAPTER FORTY
SEBASTIAN
Royal Mile was bleak beneath the darkened sky, the cobbled road slickened and shiny under the streetlamps that were inspired to blaze to life earlier than usual.
I sat on the window seat in the living area, staring down at the familiar view. February weather in Scotland was dreary as hell. To match my mood. People hurried by with umbrellas or wearing oversized hoods, and I wondered where they were going.
It was better than wondering about Lily.
Or focusing on the necklace wrapped around my fingers.
She’d returned my Christmas gift.
As if what she said last night wasn’t enough. She wanted to make it very clear we were never to see each other again.
My attention wandered back to the necklace. It shone against my olive skin and the dark bruises of my knuckles. I’d iced them last night, so they weren’t as swollen.
“Bugger.” I squeezed my eyes closed.
I didn’t recognize the person I’d turned into in the club.
One minute I’d been watching Lily have fun with her friends, happy to see her happy, and then the next I saw somebloke approach her. A light strobe flashed over his face, and I recognized him as her ex from that night in the bar. When he grabbed her … seeing her struggle in his arms, knowing the damage he’d already caused her, I lost my mind.
Yet … I think Lily was right.
