My promise to remain his friend nauseated me.
I’d let blinding passion guide me tonight. It had overtaken my rationale and allowed me to talk myself into something I knew I’d regret.
I wanted to hate Sebastian for not being willing to give me more.
But he’d been honest about what this would be for him.
Scratching an itch.
His itch had clearly been scratched.
Mine had turned into an open, bleeding wound.
“Aye,” I muttered. “Friends.”
Sebastian turned his head to look down at me. A sad smile curved his mouth upward. “I suppose kissing you goodbye wouldn’t be very friend-like?”
Maybe his itch wasn’t scratched.
Maybe I was right all along.
He wouldn’t explore what was between us out of penance.
Shoving down my growing anger, I shook my head. “Better not. Goodbye, Sebastian.”
His nostrils flared as he stood. “Goodnight, Sawyer.”
When my flat door snicked shut with the automatic lock behind him a few seconds later, I let the tears burning my nose free. I cried silently for a while until realization hit.
I shouldn’t have agreed to stay friends.
This was going to be agonizing.
A sob burst out of me like an animal’s wail, and I cried until my nose was stuffed up and my head throbbed.
Eventually, I eased out of bed to shower. To scrub the smell of Sebastian Thorne off every inch of me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
SEBASTIAN
One Month Later
Stepping down from the ladder and away from the painting, I cracked my neck.
It was my largest piece yet.
Edinburgh skyline in the rain. With the impression of a gorgeous brunette’s head and upper body peeking through the image.
She’d jumped from my mind onto the canvas without true intention or thought.
All instinct.
The brunette was Lily. If you knew her well enough, you’d recognize the curve of her profile.
I scrubbed a paint-splattered hand over my face, feeling the scruff of a short beard scratch my palm.
Every inch of me ached and it wasn’t because I’d holed myself up in my studio for weeks. I’d barely been back to my flat since returning in the early hours of New Year’s Day to find Candice leaving Zac’s bedroom.
