Elle giggled as Luke snort-laughed.
“Name a time I farted.”
“It’s hard to believe this conversation is taking place between two grown-ups. I’m sure I recently sat through a similar conversation with Freya and Catriona.” Grandma Elodie arched an eyebrow as she referred to the youngest members of our clan, my uncle Cole and aunt Shannon’s daughters.
“I am being accused of having a flatulence problem.”
“We’d barely begun dating—all the while pretending we weren’t dating—when you farted on the couch. We hadn’t been seeing each other that long and boom, all the mystery was gone.” Dad took a bite of his fajita, eyes twinkling with mischief.
I was stuck on the “pretending we weren’t dating,” and upon meeting my siblings’ gazes, I saw they were too. Before I could question it, Mum huffed, “One—I hate that you remember absolutely everything. Two—if I recall correctly,youwere tickling me!”
Dad shrugged.
“Braden Carmichael?—”
“Wait—” I cut off Mum. “Pretending to date?”
Luke and Elle leaned forward too. None of us had heard this part of our parents’ relationship story.
“Your mum was in denial that she loved me.” Dad shrugged. “So we pretended it was no strings until she came to her senses.”
“Clearly, I never came to my senses because I ended up married to you.”
Dad grinned unrepentantly, and my mum gave him a heated look I unfortunately knew all too well. The times I’d walked in on my parents all over each other were too many to count. I couldn’t even think about the time I’d caught them having sex in the bathroom at Uncle Nate and Aunt Liv’s anniversary party six years ago. My parents had never lost their passion. It was well known among my friends, too, because they’d often commented on how affectionate Dad was with Mum. To my everlastingmortification, I’d discovered only a few months ago on a drunken night out that Dad was on both Cara’s and Michaela’s DILF lists.
Just no.
No, no, no.
So wrong.
That was almost as traumatizing as walking in on them having sex.
I threw away the thought.
“No strings attached?” I raised an eyebrow at this new and enlightening information.
“No!” Elle shook her head at me. “That’s enough. We don’t need to hear more about their sex life.”
I gestured to her. “You do realize they had sex to have you.”
Elle’s eyes flashed with horror. “Stop it. Stop it right now.”
Delighted, I deadpanned, “Over sixteen years ago, they had sex. Probably a lot of it. And you know what, they probably still have sex.”
“We do,” Mum and Dad said in unison.
Everyone laughed as Elle made a gagging sound.
“Though, apparently, not tonight.” Mum took an aggressive bite out of her cheese-filled fajita as she glared at Dad.
Dad wiped his face with a napkin and grinned wolfishly. “Nothing you could say or do will put me off, babe.”
“Not even farting?” Uncle Adam quirked an eyebrow.
“Will people stop talking about farting?” Grandma Elodie groaned.
Elle huffed. “And parents having sex.”
